Ashley in the Spotlight: What She’s Looking for in Love and Relationships

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Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

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So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

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His wife just reached out to me.

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Welcome to the Meat Market.

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The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Lindsay and I'm Jess, and today's sizzling single is the amazing Ashley.

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Welcome, thank you.

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How are you?

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Good, so you are ready for business.

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You said that you want a ring on your finger by the end of the year.

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You're ready for it?

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I'm ready for it.

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Tell us about that.

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It's been one of those things where I've put on the back burner for so long because I've been so focused on a career and also, I think, just kind of focused on myself, um figuring out what I want, who I want, um, who I want to become, and then just kind of deciding what that looks like for me.

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And I think I'm at a point now where I do want to like slow down a little bit with my career and not fully pump the brakes on it, but allow it to give me more space for a relationship.

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So that's where I'm at so that's great.

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So you feel like you personally are ready to bring in someone else into have a relationship.

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You know, like you've worked on yourself enough, that you're ready to yeah, I would say so.

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Um, it depends the type of guy.

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Though, too, I'm not just gonna like let anyone into my life.

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Um, well, I mean I know a lot of people get into relationships.

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You know, when they're not ready they haven't worked on themselves.

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I feel like you have to be happy with yourself if you're to be happy in a relationship.

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Does that make sense?

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yeah, no, absolutely.

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A lot of people tend to settle, I believe, because they don't want to be, and I see a lot of relationships fail or a lot of relationships that you know seem happy.

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But you know other things going on.

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You know behind the scenes and I think everyone wants what they don't have and they think everything's so glamorous.

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But a relationship genuinely takes a lot of effort and a lot of time and it's not something that just like comes easy.

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You have to constantly work at it, not saying that it's going to be like a struggle, but you know you got to make sacrifices, you got to do certain things Like now you have to think about somebody else, it's not just you.

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So I have gotten to a point where I've done the work on myself to where, like, I can point little things out, like when I go on dates like, ah, like that's a red flag, that's a red flag, Whereas before it's like you want to ignore it because you just hope, oh, maybe I can fix the person or oh, maybe that's just a little quirk, and you know he won't do that in the next couple of weeks or the next couple of months.

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Um, but what I've noticed is that there's a lot of men typically don't really mature until their 40s and it's hard to date somebody like I don't want to say that much older, but there can be some barriers and I think, like when you do start hitting a certain age, like you tend to look a little bit different and like I'm not attracted to that either, like when it's like you look too old, that makes sense, it's the teeth.

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It's the teeth when you get old like if you don't take care of your teeth and you get that those old people teeth.

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Yes, that's what it is for me.

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I'm like a teeth person.

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Like you, have to have nice teeth.

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Well, it's like yellow.

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They start getting yellow, yes, and kind of crumbly.

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Like they look, like they're just hanging in there.

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Yes, for sure, depending on how big the veneers are, that's true.

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Good point Some of these people can get crazy.

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The horse, no horse teeth Like piano key type mouth and I'm like I can't do all that, but it just yeah.

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I think a lot of men too, or just people in general, don't necessarily take care of themselves, and you can see that reflected in how they look at a certain age.

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There's some 40 year olds who look great.

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There's some 50 year olds that look great.

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I'm very big into like health and wellness.

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I'm very big into like taking care of yourself, and that's another thing.

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A lot of people don't take care of themselves.

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A lot of people don't do the work.

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So I feel like there's phases in your life where you keep elevating, you keep growing, and there's just different chapters.

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So I've met guys like well, I'm like, oh, this could be a really good fit, but then it's like I keep elevating my life and they're kind of stuck like where I had met them and I just don't see them trying to evolve.

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You just like outgrow them.

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Yeah, yeah, and then I'm like what if I would have stayed with them?

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I would have been stuck there Like that's boring, I'm like I don't want to do that.

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So you mentioned red flags.

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Have you ever overlooked some red flags?

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Because the guy was like super hot, of course, and then looking back you're like what was.

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I thinking.

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Of course, I've had so many situations like that, especially in my 20s.

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I mean, like again, no one like wants to be alone.

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We're all longing for relationships, for partners, for love, for nurturing.

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It's just in our DNA, that's just that's humans.

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Anyone that tells you that I'm like, no, like that's just what society has told you to think.

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But genuinely we want that deeper connection.

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And so for me, like I have looked past red flags because I wanted it to work out or he's really hot or he has something to offer.

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I'm really big on intellect, so I've met a lot of guys that can mentally stimulate me.

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But when it comes to them as like an overall man and like being the type of person I would want to marry, I don't see it like there's always like someone.

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They're always missing an element right, like how you treat people, how you treat a woman, your mental like simulation, like can we have a deep conversation?

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Can you teach me something?

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Are you constantly learning?

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Like I'm very attracted to that.

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But then there's also the health and wellness side, like if you're just like a slob and you don't go to the gym, like I'm sorry, but that's going to be a hard no for me.

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And then if you don't have any goals or ambitions, so there's so many boxes that you have to check.

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But I feel like those boxes are so extremely important because it's it's stuff that I do.

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Yeah, you check the boxes for yourself.

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Correct Like they are.

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There are boxes that you check off, and so it's like you need your person to also check the same boxes.

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Exactly.

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So you know what you want.

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What are some of your deal breakers?

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Absolute deal breakers deal breakers, who?

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there's a lot.

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Um, it's a good question I'm trying to think of, like some of the recent dates I've been on, which haven't been many, because there's like, I don't know, scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

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It's really bad like hinge is like awful.

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I look at the, I look at my hinge and the guys that request me and like no offense.

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I'm like seriously, seriously, like I hate to be mean.

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That's cute, no one of my deal smoking cigarettes is a deal breaker for me, yeah.

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I don't like that either.

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Because I'm like who smokes cigarettes anymore, really?

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And the pens, the vape pens, oh my God smokes cigarettes anymore really like in the pens, the bait pens.

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Oh my god, I was in Florida and um, I was at like a really nice hotel, the breakers in West Palm Beach, and this guy walked up to me and my girlfriend.

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We were at the table, we were, you know, eating some food, whatever.

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He noticed she had a ring on, so he's like, okay, I'm gonna go to her, which is me, and um, he, you know, he seemed cool, and then we started walking around the hotel, whatever, um, getting some drinks, and then he pulls out like two vape pens.

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I'm like you are such a loser, like I'm sorry one is already pushing it, but then you pull out two.

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I'm like was one for you?

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no, it's like both, for him.

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You like, take both out weird and then like so I'll say a couple deal breakers, because I know that you asked that a question initially.

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So yeah, smoking is a deal breaker.

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I don't even like people that smoke weed.

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I think it's disgusting.

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I hate the smell like it just lingers.

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People smoke in their apartments or their house.

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Like it's disgusting, like I don't need that stuff all over the couch.

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Like and I just like don't think that you need to like be on drugs to function normally like a human being, like you have something wrong with you If you feel the need to like go to all your vices all the time.

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And there's been a lot of men I would say like majority of men that I've dated like smoke or do some form of a drug, and I hate that.

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Like Coke, uh, smoking.

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If you're like overly drinking all the time, like you get excited for the weekend you want to go out and like get drunk, I'm like there's nothing better to do, so I don't like that.

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I also don't like a guy that brags too much.

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That's the worst.

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Like ooh, like I'm like the business.

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Or I'm the biggest real estate developer in Palm Beach, I'm like Ooh, that's so impressive.

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Like, I don't like that stuff.

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I think that quote by Margaret Thatcher.

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You know, if you have to tell someone how powerful you are, you're actually not that powerful.

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Yeah, it's a turnoff.

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There's, there's been certain situations where guys also try to like assert their dominance and there's a difference between being masculine and toxic masculinity and I know that word's thrown around so much and I believe that, like true masculinity, like true masculinity, you can be powerful without yelling, without you know hurting people without threats, without you know hurting people without um threats, without you know trying to like overcompensate for something else.

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Like I've had guys you know be like, oh, you just talked to another guy.

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That's rude.

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I took you out on a date.

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I'm like, okay, I know the guy.

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Wow, I don't owe, I don't owe you anything, right?

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Like I don't like and to me, some of these things, some of these dinners, like I don't even consider a date, like I just like you're just my guy friend and we're going out and, god forbid, I say hi to someone that I meet.

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Like it's a turnoff and it just shows me that you're really insecure knowing that I have guy friends.

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I'm in a male dominated industry.

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I know a ton of guys, especially out here in Phoenix.

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I've been here since 2014.

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So I have my whole like base here of people that I know.

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And if you're going to get insecure over me having guy friends or just me saying hello to somebody to me.

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That just like shows me everything I need to know about you as a person.

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And also, isn't it more shady to see someone that you know out and not say anything?

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Because then it's like what are you hiding?

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Why would you not say hi to someone that you know at a restaurant?

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Like, what's the deal with them?

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What's the story?

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Like, why don't you feel comfortable going?

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If that really is your friend, why don't you feel comfortable going up to them and saying hello?

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Like, I think it's more of a red flag to not say hello to someone in public that you know than it is to go up and say hello to someone that you know well, I don't know why he got so upset.

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He's like you were standing there for 30 minutes I was like it was five minutes.

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You disrespected me, like men like that are so like like I don't know, like who raised you or where you're from and what you think, but like you're not gonna tell me what to do and I think my personality sometimes a little bit too overpowering for a lot of men.

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And listen, I want a man to lead.

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I want to be able to trust you enough to lead, but when you start showing me insecurity and projecting and all these red flags, I am not going to submit to you because I don't trust you.

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I think you're a weak man.

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Well, I was going to say I feel like you need a strong, confident man, because you are strong and you are confident and you're successful and you speak your mind and you do have a lot of followers and you're very popular and you know a lot of people, so it's got to take a very secure man to be able to deal with that.

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Yeah, and I think that's been challenging in itself is finding guys who are okay with the type of work that I'm in and being around a lot of men, and I think it makes people a little intimidated.

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So tell everyone what you do.

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So, yeah, I'm a sports reporter.

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I've been doing this for over a decade now, mainly cover basketball and the NBA.

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So I interview a lot of high profile athletes and then I also do a little bit of NFL.

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But you know, majority of what I do is all in a male dominated field.

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So I mean I'm going to gravitate more towards men because I like sports and I like to watch sports.

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So a lot of my friends tend to be guys because they like to argue, you know, different sports betting or different games, whatever.

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So it has been challenging in a sense, like where a lot of men just don't feel comfortable with it.

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Or, on the flip side, I get men that almost like get off on the fact that I do have this type of a job and interview these high profile athletes and they want to like use that clout to make them look better, like, oh, I'm gonna bring her around.

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Like, look like I have this girl who interviews blah blah, blah blah.

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So they don't necessarily like me for me, but it's like the value I can provide they use you to name drop, so then.

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So then they can say like oh, I know so and so and they really don't, but it's because you interviewed someone.

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You know what I mean.

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Like they want to use that, like in a roundabout way, yeah, so it's difficult to find a guy that's like truly in it for me and not for what I do, not, for who I know or what I can bring them.

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You know there's guys on Hinge that be like, oh, like, how did you get on?

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You know, how did you get on?

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You know, how'd you get court side, or how'd you get on the court?

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Or you know, I really want to start a podcast, I really want to break into the industry and it's like I'm not here to be your mentor or your stepping stone.

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No, absolutely not.

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I mean, I get these messages all the time and I'm just like you got to figure it out, like we all had to figure it out.

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I'm not here to like just give you my step-by-step process and introduce you to all these people that I met.

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Like that took time and effort and a lot of rejection and a lot of sleepless nights.

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Like that took a lot.

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So for these people or these men to come in and think like oh, like I'm going to, you know, get, you know, I'm going to reap the rewards of all that she's done.

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Like I'm not going to do that either.

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So there's two sides of the coin, some that are too intimidated by what I do, others who use it as a stepping stone to further, whatever their agenda is.

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Yeah, so you must meet a lot of men through your work, so you are definitely single by choice.

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What are you looking for Like?

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What is your perfect partner?

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Where do I start?

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How much time do we have?

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I mean, I feel like-.

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How long is your list?

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How many boxes are there?

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I'm like let me pull this out right here.

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I have to take a whole scroll.

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There's a lot.

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I think my biggest thing is patience A man who is patient, because I'm very high strung and I have a lot of anxiety not that it's bad anxiety, but like I'm always thinking the next thing and I'm always like, oh my god, like I need to do this content, I need to do this.

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I need a guy that's like very centered and like relaxing.

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Because I'm super high, strong, I need someone to balance me out, um, so I can't have a guy that's like overpowering when it comes to decision making or all of that like it.

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Just they need to balance me out.

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So I would say patience is very key to calming me down.

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Um, loyalty is huge.

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You believe it or not.

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I've had a lot of men that I've gone on dates with that suddenly have girlfriends and I didn't even know about it.

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Surprise Right, or they're married.

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Oh wow.

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You show up like.

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And then the next day I see you posting on social media with a baby.

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Like, are you?

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freaking, kidding me.

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Why do you guys befriend women that they go on dates with on social media when they also post their family on their social media, like?

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Why, like?

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What's the thought process behind that?

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Well, I had a situation with a guy and originally it was just kind of like a chill situation, wasn't anything like crazy.

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And then I started putting up boundaries and then it started getting like deeper.

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Where, you know, we actually got to know each other on a deeper level, which I actually thought was beautiful, right, it wasn't like a lust thing, it wasn't, like you know, sexualized, it was like I really want to get to know this person on like a deep level and we really, you know, got to know each other.

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And then I find out that he has a baby, so she's pregnant while we were talking, they live together, they're dating, and he would keep coming back and finally, I was just like I can't do this anymore and like you shouldn't do this either, um, but but I do know that, like he's not happy and it does break my heart because, like, I genuinely did care about him as a person, even though he was doing something wrong, right, like I think we all make mistakes, we all mess up.

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I'm not going to judge him off of this bad mistake.

00:16:36.831 --> 00:16:56.673
I mean it's a mistake, I mean it's pretty bad, but, um, I got to see him for who he was and, like, once we really started talking and and opening up, like I really got to see like who he is in his core and I just kind of told him, like you know you're going to have to make a decision right, like I don't want to give you an ultimatum, but like it's either going to be me or her and you have to figure it out.

00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:12.942
But ultimately, like you have a baby, so you have to factor in your child's needs and the importance of having a two-parent household, which I'm very traditional in that sense I think it's extremely important for a child to grow up with both parents.

00:17:12.942 --> 00:17:21.929
But at the end of the day, I told him too, like you need to be happy and if you're not happy, like you have your whole life ahead of you.

00:17:21.929 --> 00:17:25.182
You know you can still be, you know, a good parent and not be in the of you.

00:17:25.182 --> 00:17:28.092
You know you can still be, you know, a good parent and not be in the relationship with her.

00:17:28.092 --> 00:17:31.862
You could still be a good partner when it comes to raising your child.

00:17:31.862 --> 00:17:34.387
But at the end of the day, like it's so.

00:17:34.387 --> 00:17:38.786
It's a guy like that where I'm like you haven't done the work yeah, because is it really a?

00:17:38.885 --> 00:17:43.664
it's not a mistake because it's intentional like it's like he knows exactly what he was doing, like a.

00:17:43.664 --> 00:17:51.221
A mistake is when you know you don't realize what you're doing is wrong or there's going to be negative consequences.

00:17:51.221 --> 00:17:52.846
Right, oh my God, I made such a huge mistake.

00:17:52.846 --> 00:17:56.563
I had no idea what the outcome of my actions was going to be.

00:17:56.563 --> 00:18:03.428
I didn't realize that, that the consequences of my actions were going to be negative or were going to hurt someone.

00:18:03.428 --> 00:18:04.611
That's a mistake.

00:18:04.611 --> 00:18:07.608
True, what he was doing is not a mistake.

00:18:07.779 --> 00:18:10.550
He knew what he was doing was very intentional.

00:18:11.500 --> 00:18:13.228
I guess I just I try to like.

00:18:13.228 --> 00:18:20.288
I guess I'm like too empathetic and nice sometimes where I try to like see the good in people, even when I know what he's doing is wrong.

00:18:20.288 --> 00:18:25.750
It's just like that's the type of like red flag I'm talking about, or like he hasn't done like the inner work.

00:18:25.750 --> 00:18:29.700
Yeah, to like like why are you knocking up someone that you're not in love with?

00:18:29.700 --> 00:18:34.190
Like I don't comprehend why you're, why you stay with someone because it's comfortable.

00:18:34.190 --> 00:18:36.863
Like I would never do that.

00:18:36.863 --> 00:18:44.788
Like I would rather like jump off a cliff than be stuck in a relationship that I'm not happy with so how do you come to you and said, okay, okay, I want to be with you.

00:18:44.929 --> 00:18:46.152
I commit to you, let's do this.

00:18:46.152 --> 00:18:48.568
Could you raise a baby from someone else?

00:18:48.568 --> 00:18:50.502
Could you have been with him?

00:18:51.785 --> 00:18:52.566
That's a difficult.

00:18:52.566 --> 00:18:54.009
That's difficult, I mean.

00:18:54.009 --> 00:18:59.898
If yeah, I mean I would be all in, I would have to be because I care about him.

00:18:59.898 --> 00:19:02.378
But I think the biggest problem would be do I trust him?

00:19:02.690 --> 00:19:03.673
I was just going to say that?

00:19:03.673 --> 00:19:05.720
Because they say like you lose him, how you get him?

00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:10.145
Right and so like, then you worry about him, what he did to her, to me.

00:19:10.145 --> 00:19:13.018
To you Easily, because he hasn't been on his own.

00:19:13.018 --> 00:19:23.545
He jumped right from her to you, and so then he hasn't taken the time to figure himself out and what he wants, and so then it's like you're worried then, constantly at some.

00:19:23.545 --> 00:19:25.926
At what point is he going to do to me what he did to her?

00:19:26.451 --> 00:19:45.558
And there is power in being alone and I try to explain this to people and I guess that's another red flag I see in men who do have to hop around from woman to woman to feel validated and there is so much power in being alone and being in your own space and your own energy and like just doing the inner work.

00:19:45.859 --> 00:19:46.200
You know.

00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:48.273
I just don't think like you guys were saying.

00:19:48.314 --> 00:20:05.559
It's like how can you make somebody else happy if you're not happy internally with what you're doing and if you're having to, like, feed yourself with all these vices, whether it's sex, whether it's porn, whether it's gambling, whether it's drinking, whether it's eating like shit, whether it's sex, whether it's porn, whether it's gambling, whether it's drinking, whether it's eating like shit, whether it's smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, snorting coke, like all these things are just trying to fill a void.

00:20:05.559 --> 00:20:25.910
And until you can actually be alone with yourself, like you're not going to know what that void is and typically like you're just masking something deeper because you feel the need, like you can't sit with your own thoughts, like I, like you can't sit with yourself, I don't know how, like there's sometimes I drive in my car with no music on at all and I just sit in my own thoughts and my thoughts aren't always good, I mean.

00:20:25.910 --> 00:20:33.734
I think as humans, we all tend to think about certain things that are intrusive thoughts, yes, intrusive thoughts or things are like oh, why do I keep thinking about this?

00:20:33.855 --> 00:20:34.596
Or you know?

00:20:34.596 --> 00:20:36.619
But but I do think there's power in that.

00:20:36.619 --> 00:20:43.150
Like you need to sit in that, Even if it's bad, even if it's like gives you anxiety, even if it upsets you or depresses you.

00:20:43.150 --> 00:20:46.180
Like you need to sit with that and understand, like why am I feeling this way right now?

00:20:46.180 --> 00:20:49.380
But nothing else can really truly fill that void.

00:20:50.071 --> 00:20:52.369
That was a red flag I overlooked when I was single and dating.

00:20:52.369 --> 00:20:54.618
There were so many guys that could not be alone.

00:20:54.618 --> 00:20:58.760
They jumped from girl to girl to girl they jump from girl to girl to girl, and that's not right.

00:20:58.760 --> 00:20:59.362
It's a red flag.

00:20:59.362 --> 00:21:00.032
I overlooked.

00:21:00.053 --> 00:21:17.082
With my ex too my like the longest relationship, my most recent relationship it was like like he was still living in my house because he had a renter in his condo and it was like during it was the beginning of COVID, so it was like that sort of weird time with like the real estate market and whatever, blah, blah blah.

00:21:17.082 --> 00:21:27.096
So he was staying in one of my guest rooms and it was just like, but I was like I'm like I know you're with someone else already.

00:21:27.277 --> 00:21:28.259
Like just go be with her.

00:21:28.259 --> 00:21:29.642
Like I don't care, like just go, you know what I mean.

00:21:29.642 --> 00:21:32.978
Like I don't want you in my space anymore, we are not together.

00:21:32.978 --> 00:21:34.463
Like just go with.

00:21:34.463 --> 00:21:34.744
And then.

00:21:34.744 --> 00:21:41.979
And then it's funny because he waited to like to like hard launch their relationship until like four or five months later.

00:21:41.979 --> 00:21:49.230
But I'm like all the while I'm like here you are still living in my house, like you can't be alone.

00:21:49.230 --> 00:21:50.717
I know you can't be alone.

00:21:50.717 --> 00:21:53.358
I know you're already with someone else.

00:21:53.358 --> 00:21:55.698
Like just go, like you know.

00:21:55.940 --> 00:21:57.875
I don't understand, and it is.

00:21:57.875 --> 00:22:02.394
It was something I knew about him from the beginning that he couldn't be alone.

00:22:03.156 --> 00:22:06.832
but it was just they have to line someone up as their relationships ending.

00:22:06.852 --> 00:22:16.853
Yes, that doesn't make any sense to me why someone would want to do that yeah because you're never going to be satisfied, you're never going to truly like be like, like the person, like why are you wasting your time?

00:22:16.853 --> 00:22:21.019
Yeah, if you're just with someone to not be alone, you're wasting your time and theirs.

00:22:21.019 --> 00:22:25.075
Yeah, and men like think like, we just like, want to, we just want to.

00:22:25.075 --> 00:22:26.401
They want to tell us what we want to hear.

00:22:26.401 --> 00:22:30.797
But I'd rather you just be honest like I can handle rejection well, and that's, I don't care.

00:22:30.998 --> 00:22:42.010
I think he didn't want to say it to me because he didn't want me to feel some type of way and and literally in my, in my head, I was like I could care less, yeah, like I really could care less.

00:22:43.194 --> 00:22:48.210
I don't like men that can't be truthful and upfront about what they want and their expectations.

00:22:48.210 --> 00:22:51.579
I don't care about being rejected I've been rejected a million and one times.

00:22:51.579 --> 00:22:54.001
I just know that it's going to reroute me to something that's meant for me.

00:22:54.001 --> 00:22:55.791
Why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with?

00:22:55.811 --> 00:22:56.974
me right.

00:22:56.974 --> 00:22:57.655
Why do you want like?

00:22:57.655 --> 00:22:58.298
Why like?

00:22:58.298 --> 00:22:59.220
Why is time, why?

00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:00.784
why do people settle for the bare minimum?

00:23:00.784 --> 00:23:07.541
Yeah, if you could already provide all the stuff that you want for yourself, why would you settle with a man that can't provide any of that?

00:23:07.541 --> 00:23:16.876
And it could be anything like your self-love, like if you're not getting like nurtured and loved by your partner but you're giving that to yourself, like you're settling for for crumbs.

00:23:16.876 --> 00:23:18.159
Yeah, so why?

00:23:18.159 --> 00:23:27.080
But I think we kind of got off track because you would ask me like what I look for in a relationship, but like I guess that the main things like is like patience, um how they lead.

00:23:27.080 --> 00:23:33.074
I want a leader, Um, and I want to be able to like feel safe and secure to allow you to lead.

00:23:33.074 --> 00:23:34.615
Loyalty and honesty.

00:23:34.615 --> 00:23:36.378
Just be straight up with me.

00:23:36.378 --> 00:23:37.421
I'm an open book.

00:23:37.421 --> 00:23:39.564
I'm from Chicago, we don't give a shit.

00:23:39.564 --> 00:23:48.115
Just, I'm very like blunt and some people can handle it, Some people can't, but I need you to be honest with me.

00:23:48.135 --> 00:23:49.558
I also want to know your relationship with your parents.

00:23:49.558 --> 00:23:50.903
Are your parents still together?

00:23:50.903 --> 00:23:55.460
Have you been able to see what a healthy relationship looks like?

00:23:55.460 --> 00:23:58.797
I think a lot of people tend to repeat cycles that they're around.

00:23:58.797 --> 00:24:05.153
So if you don't have a good relationship with your parents and you haven't seen what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.

00:24:05.153 --> 00:24:08.837
It's going to be very hard for you to find that for yourself because you're going to think it doesn't exist.

00:24:08.837 --> 00:24:13.574
And that's what we see a lot in today's dating world is oh, like you know, the fairy tale.

00:24:13.574 --> 00:24:14.595
I can't get the fairy tale.

00:24:14.595 --> 00:24:16.698
Oh, the fairy tale doesn't exist and you can't have it all.

00:24:16.698 --> 00:24:17.058
Why?

00:24:17.058 --> 00:24:20.344
I bet you there's a guy out there that wants to have it all.

00:24:20.344 --> 00:24:24.874
I just need to find that guy, because I know that I can have it all and I'm not just going to like settle.

00:24:24.874 --> 00:24:28.770
So I think I want to know what their relationship is with their parents.

00:24:28.770 --> 00:24:31.797
Um, if they've seen, you know a healthy relationship.

00:24:31.797 --> 00:24:34.422
Um, what else?

00:24:34.963 --> 00:24:43.777
Uh, are you a good like, are you a good provider for yourself, I guess?

00:24:43.797 --> 00:24:45.263
um, I want to treat yourself the way that, yeah, you would want.

00:24:45.263 --> 00:24:45.786
How do you treat yourself?

00:24:45.786 --> 00:24:46.409
Are you going to the gym?

00:24:46.409 --> 00:24:47.731
Do you have a good routine in the morning?

00:24:47.731 --> 00:24:49.494
Do you like to read?

00:24:49.494 --> 00:24:50.196
Do you?

00:24:50.196 --> 00:24:51.019
Are you um?

00:24:51.019 --> 00:24:54.672
Ambitious ambition is it's so attractive.

00:24:54.751 --> 00:24:55.594
It is so attractive.

00:24:55.594 --> 00:24:57.357
That is a deal breaker for me.

00:24:57.357 --> 00:24:58.760
Ambition, yeah, ambition.

00:24:59.162 --> 00:24:59.823
Goals.

00:25:00.450 --> 00:25:02.156
And I could start picking things out.

00:25:02.156 --> 00:25:09.859
I could understand if you're working somewhat of a shitty job, but you have a plan and you're working towards something else.

00:25:09.859 --> 00:25:13.798
But there are some guys that are just stagnant and they're happy for where they are.

00:25:13.817 --> 00:25:18.023
They can't figure it out they're floaters, they bitch and complain, but then they don't do anything about it.

00:25:18.023 --> 00:25:19.443
Yeah, that was me and one of my exes.

00:25:19.443 --> 00:25:32.691
That's why I broke up with him, because he would constantly complain and bitch about his life and his job and his weight and everything, but he didn't do anything to change it yeah nothing bonkers I had a relationship with a guy and this is like the last long-term relationship I was in.

00:25:32.711 --> 00:25:33.952
This was so long ago.

00:25:33.952 --> 00:25:40.365
It was probably like 2017, pretty long, but I don't know what I was thinking.

00:25:40.365 --> 00:25:43.916
So I get in a relationship with this guy and he lived in Florida.

00:25:43.916 --> 00:25:48.315
Not only did he make me pay for half my plane ticket okay, to go out there on my birthday.

00:25:48.315 --> 00:25:52.479
By the way, I go out there he doesn't even take all of his PTO.

00:25:52.479 --> 00:25:53.280
He still has to go to work.

00:25:53.280 --> 00:26:05.715
So I find myself not only paying for half the flight, but I am cooking his meal prep, I'm folding his fucking laundry and I remember sitting on the ground.

00:26:05.736 --> 00:26:06.700
I'm folding his laundry and I'm just like.

00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:07.523
Ashley what the fuck are you doing?

00:26:07.544 --> 00:26:08.708
happy birthday to you right, it was a trial wife situation.

00:26:08.729 --> 00:26:09.652
It was like not a birthday trip.

00:26:09.652 --> 00:26:17.193
He was like let me bring you out here to see how, how I can trial you as my future wife yes, and I'm just sitting there and I'm like Ashley, like you're done.

00:26:17.734 --> 00:26:23.280
You are never number one paying for your fucking ticket to go see a guy Absolutely not.

00:26:23.280 --> 00:26:23.961
That's a red flag.

00:26:23.961 --> 00:26:25.003
He's broke as fuck.

00:26:25.003 --> 00:26:27.686
Goodbye, goodbye.

00:26:27.686 --> 00:26:29.237
I am way too good for that.

00:26:29.237 --> 00:26:34.462
I'm sorry, but I've gotten to the level of my life where, uh, no way, I'm not doing that.

00:26:34.462 --> 00:26:37.492
So I stopped folding his clothes and then he took me out.

00:26:37.492 --> 00:26:38.493
I'm like, fuck this guy.

00:26:38.493 --> 00:26:43.601
Then he took me out for my dinner and makes a comment like you better take me somewhere nice like this for mine.

00:26:44.442 --> 00:26:51.250
Oh bro, I ended up breaking up with him on Valentine's Day and he was like crying and miserable, but I'm just like you know what dude?

00:26:51.250 --> 00:26:55.942
Like he was one of those that complained about his job all the time, always miserable.

00:26:55.942 --> 00:27:00.613
He wasn't feeding me mentally.

00:27:00.613 --> 00:27:01.618
I'm like you have nothing to teach me.

00:27:01.618 --> 00:27:03.288
Like how are we going to grow together when you're so stagnant right here?

00:27:03.307 --> 00:27:05.076
And like I'm trying to elevate in my career?

00:27:05.076 --> 00:27:17.798
And so, like all these relationships that I think that I've been in, like if I would have actually settled down with these people, I would not be where I am right now in my life with the interviews I've done with the companies I've worked with, with just all the things I've been able to accomplish.

00:27:17.798 --> 00:27:22.262
I feel like the right man is going to help elevate that, not bring it down.

00:27:22.262 --> 00:27:29.632
But every guy that I've dated has been a guy that wants to bring it down or they take it just takes too much of my time away from what I really want to do.

00:27:30.153 --> 00:27:33.230
Like there's nights I would be out, like on a date, and I'm like, oh, there's a game on.

00:27:33.230 --> 00:27:39.222
I want to watch the game from the comfort of my own home and listen to the commentary and make video content.

00:27:39.222 --> 00:27:40.845
Like I don't want to be here right now.

00:27:40.845 --> 00:27:45.767
So it's going to have to be someone that, like aligns with what I like to do.

00:27:45.767 --> 00:27:46.847
Like, are you a sports fan?

00:27:46.847 --> 00:27:51.270
That's a big deal breaker for me when someone says I don't like basketball, bye, that's my life.

00:27:51.270 --> 00:27:53.112
You don't want to watch basketball or go to games.

00:27:53.112 --> 00:27:54.251
Like ew.

00:27:54.251 --> 00:27:54.892
Also.

00:27:54.892 --> 00:27:56.653
Like it's just weird, did?

00:27:56.692 --> 00:27:59.094
you play basketball, or like how did you get into?

00:27:59.094 --> 00:28:01.154
Like, how are you so into basketball?

00:28:01.154 --> 00:28:02.335
I did not play.

00:28:02.535 --> 00:28:03.976
No, I absolutely suck.

00:28:03.976 --> 00:28:04.736
I'm too short.

00:28:04.736 --> 00:28:10.018
I could never like dribble through my legs, my arms don't go long enough and everyone's like you need to just get lower.

00:28:10.018 --> 00:28:15.480
I'm like my body, just my body composition, just can't.

00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:16.760
I was a cheerleader.

00:28:16.760 --> 00:28:17.641
I was a dancer.

00:28:17.641 --> 00:28:23.103
I took on boxing a little bit, but I love, yeah, cheer and dance was my bread and butter.

00:28:23.103 --> 00:28:29.365
So I would watch basketball games and football and then I grew up in a basketball and football family.

00:28:29.365 --> 00:28:32.967
My grandma was a diehard everything fan.

00:28:32.967 --> 00:28:35.607
She knew she was like an encyclopedia.

00:28:35.607 --> 00:28:36.929
She was a very smart woman.

00:28:36.929 --> 00:28:41.434
She could probably go on Jeopardy and win it all.

00:28:41.434 --> 00:28:42.096
She never did.

00:28:42.096 --> 00:28:42.877
It's actually her birthday today.

00:28:42.877 --> 00:28:43.660
She would have been a hundred.

00:28:43.660 --> 00:28:45.510
She would have been a hundred today.

00:28:45.510 --> 00:28:49.000
So she passed I think, 92, 93.

00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:56.558
And you know it sucks because she never really got to see everything that I was able to accomplish and the people I've interviewed.

00:28:56.558 --> 00:29:02.233
And I wish she did, because if she knew she's still watching you she is.

00:29:02.273 --> 00:29:11.682
She'd be so proud because I feel like I'm kind of living a life that she would have been really good at and she was just like me, a little shit talker, a little spitfire.

00:29:11.682 --> 00:29:12.611
She was like four.

00:29:12.611 --> 00:29:18.935
Well, by the time she hit her age she was like four, eight, because you know, gravity takes over four, eight little spitfire.

00:29:18.935 --> 00:29:21.201
Like she would always leave our family dinners.

00:29:21.201 --> 00:29:25.073
We'd always find her at the bar, like screaming at the tv, watching a game, um.

00:29:25.073 --> 00:29:31.829
So she got me into, you know, basketball, football, baseball was originally my favorite sport.

00:29:31.990 --> 00:29:33.654
We would go to cubs games all the time.

00:29:33.654 --> 00:29:34.636
We had season tickets.

00:29:34.636 --> 00:29:37.050
I would get to school, me and my brother.

00:29:37.050 --> 00:29:42.803
You'd go there, um, they'd make us like nice deli sandwiches and we would go to the games.

00:29:42.803 --> 00:29:47.701
So that was like a really nice childhood memory that I will always, you know, cherish.

00:29:47.701 --> 00:29:49.877
I've been to some crazy playoff games.

00:29:49.877 --> 00:29:52.897
She definitely knew more about sports than I did.

00:29:52.897 --> 00:29:54.916
Like she was a bookworm.

00:29:54.916 --> 00:29:56.595
She read multiple books a week.

00:29:56.595 --> 00:30:02.109
Very smart, I mean.

00:30:02.109 --> 00:30:12.025
I think if she had social media I'd probably dumb her down a little bit, you know, but she, I mean, all they had was books and crossword puzzles and all the things you know, so she got me really into sports.

00:30:13.630 --> 00:30:17.011
Have you ever dated athletes Like is that your type, would you say, or are you more?

00:30:17.011 --> 00:30:17.934
Is it like you?

00:30:17.934 --> 00:30:21.051
You interview them, but you're not interested in them romantically.

00:30:21.893 --> 00:30:29.773
I think in my 20s I was like enamored by the idea of like, oh my god, they look so good and they take care of themselves.

00:30:29.773 --> 00:30:36.654
And like there's just something about guys that have money and are have the certain stature that is hot right.

00:30:36.654 --> 00:30:49.411
But I will say, as I started to get older, I started to realize like they're not all very smart and they're not all very loyal, like we know quite a few, but are married with kids.

00:30:49.471 --> 00:30:51.615
That hit on us all yeah.

00:30:51.655 --> 00:30:54.181
So there's a lot that I will say.

00:30:54.181 --> 00:31:07.758
Just because you have money and you're a high profile athlete doesn't make you smart intellectual or a good person or a good person or have a good heart or be loyal.

00:31:08.779 --> 00:31:15.159
A lot of these guys get into these situations at such a young age and men are wired differently than women.

00:31:15.159 --> 00:31:23.558
I don't blame them for wanting to go out and about and explore and be adventurous and have fun in your early twenties.

00:31:23.558 --> 00:31:31.984
I mean, these guys are getting crazy million dollar contracts at 20, 21 years old, like go off, go have fun Now with NIL.

00:31:32.025 --> 00:31:34.555
like even younger, like high school athletes, college.

00:31:34.555 --> 00:31:36.727
Well, I don't know if it's high school, but college high school.

00:31:36.727 --> 00:31:44.699
It's high school too, right, so it's like these teenagers, like they're children still and I made a ton of mistakes Are getting these insane contracts.

00:31:44.930 --> 00:31:48.160
I made a ton of mistakes in my early 20s, so I don't I don't, we all did.

00:31:48.160 --> 00:32:00.109
I'm not going to fault these guys for going off and having a good time down.

00:32:00.109 --> 00:32:01.615
I do have a problem with the ones that cheat when they're married.

00:32:01.615 --> 00:32:02.317
You took an oath on the altar.

00:32:02.317 --> 00:32:08.538
You know till death do us part, and here you are cheating story about Patrick Mahomes, and he was in town at Balls of Blonde is that true?

00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:12.490
I want to believe it's not true, but I'm like in denial.

00:32:12.490 --> 00:32:14.494
I know me too, I love Patrick.

00:32:14.494 --> 00:32:15.016
Mahomes.

00:32:15.036 --> 00:32:15.817
I can't say.

00:32:15.817 --> 00:32:17.060
I can't say or deny.

00:32:17.080 --> 00:32:19.346
I want to believe it's not true.

00:32:19.346 --> 00:32:20.470
So bad, but you're right.

00:32:20.849 --> 00:32:26.077
These kids have so much money and fame at a young age and we made so many mistakes when we were young.

00:32:26.077 --> 00:32:29.707
Add on fame and money to that and everyone's scrutinizing every move.

00:32:29.747 --> 00:32:42.138
you've made Well in today's day and age, now cell phones, like recording, like when we were out and about in the scene, like think about like 15 years ago or whatever, like we weren't recording everything we were doing.

00:32:42.138 --> 00:32:46.444
Whereas now it's like everything is recorded, Everything is documented.

00:32:46.444 --> 00:32:48.967
I'm like thank God, we weren't recording stuff.

00:32:48.987 --> 00:32:52.739
Well, yeah, thank God there's no evidence of my 20s.

00:32:53.990 --> 00:33:09.060
But, like you know what I think is interesting too about about dating athletes, or the potential to date an athlete, or athletes dating whoever it's always funny to me how they're like I don't want a girl to just use me for my money.

00:33:09.060 --> 00:33:12.078
But then here you are, like flaunting all your chains, throwing it around.

00:33:12.099 --> 00:33:13.584
Yes, you're thinking about whatever you like.

00:33:13.584 --> 00:33:15.894
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're flaunting all your cars.

00:33:15.954 --> 00:33:19.384
You're flaunting like All these things that you have, exactly.

00:33:24.809 --> 00:33:26.114
The designer clothes and the, the jets and the all of that.

00:33:26.114 --> 00:33:26.634
They do it on purpose.

00:33:26.634 --> 00:33:33.618
You're trying to lure women in with money and we try to lure men with our sexuality and being hot and sticking our tits out and, like you know, making ourselves all dolled up.

00:33:33.618 --> 00:33:37.171
Like that's like just human nature, yeah, but like.

00:33:37.412 --> 00:33:47.496
So a little birdie told us you have some kind of crazy stories with professional athletes, like them being disrespectful, or comments that they've made to you, or experiences, any that you're willing to share?

00:33:47.910 --> 00:33:57.898
I'm trying to think of like, if there's one that like really stands out, you're like I have so many I mean there's been like guys that won't do an interview unless I put out Really and do stuff.

00:33:57.898 --> 00:34:04.761
Yeah, and it was one situation where the guy like wasn't even like that big of a player, where I'm just like who the fuck are you Right?

00:34:04.761 --> 00:34:09.246
Like I wouldn't even date you, like I wouldn't even consider like going out to dinner with you.

00:34:09.246 --> 00:34:12.090
And here you are, like being like I'm not going to interview you unless she fucks me.

00:34:12.090 --> 00:34:15.693
I'm like what Weird that's just.

00:34:15.693 --> 00:34:20.539
Yeah, I've never experienced that before and it was literally like a nobody.

00:34:20.699 --> 00:34:22.260
Like it wasn't even like a superstar player.

00:34:22.300 --> 00:34:26.143
It was literally like a nobody, like it wasn't even like a superstar player, it was just like a random, like you know, a role player or whatever.

00:34:26.143 --> 00:34:28.266
I mean, he was pretty problematic anyway.

00:34:28.266 --> 00:34:32.329
So it's not like I like needed the interview, but it was at a time when I was getting so many interviews.

00:34:32.329 --> 00:34:39.155
I'm like dude, like I'm credible, I'm interviewing, like all these people that are bigger than you and you're like I'm not gonna do it unless she puts out what do I get in return?

00:34:39.675 --> 00:34:42.119
like I wonder though, how many women do that?

00:34:42.119 --> 00:34:47.556
Do put out, you know, they might you know, I mean that's probably why he does it well.

00:34:47.637 --> 00:34:56.820
It's unfortunate that there are situations where women feel the need that they have to do that in order to advance their career and we're always blaming the woman and putting her down and saying, oh, she shouldn't do this and do that.

00:34:56.820 --> 00:34:59.213
But like why do women feel the need to have to do that?

00:34:59.635 --> 00:35:03.302
because that's what the industry yeah, it's what the environment is created.

00:35:03.302 --> 00:35:06.094
Yeah, it's how it was, how it was created, how it was designed.

00:35:06.114 --> 00:35:14.670
It's like you need to be sexy and you need to, like you know, not be too smart, but just enough that you know you can lure the men and you got to be eye candy.

00:35:14.670 --> 00:35:18.617
Um, so there has been situations like that, or men.

00:35:18.617 --> 00:35:22.802
There was one story I told on here and like, of course, it like went viral and people were like getting mad at me.

00:35:22.802 --> 00:35:28.076
But there was one story I told on here and like of course it like went viral and people were like getting mad at me.

00:35:28.190 --> 00:35:38.411
But, there was one athlete that I went out to lunch with him and his friends and he was so late, by the way, I was like at the lunch Like he was like showed up like 30 minutes to an hour late.

00:35:38.411 --> 00:35:39.693
That's so disrespectful.

00:35:39.713 --> 00:35:40.273
It was so disrespectful.

00:35:40.273 --> 00:35:41.434
How'd you stay this that's so disrespectful.

00:35:41.474 --> 00:35:42.295
It was so disrespectful.

00:35:42.295 --> 00:35:43.675
I'm surprised you stayed this guy's disrespectful.

00:35:43.675 --> 00:35:45.878
I mean, I was getting drinks and just chilling.

00:35:45.878 --> 00:35:47.579
It was nice outside, it was just whatever.

00:35:47.579 --> 00:35:57.675
And he shows up and literally the first thing he says to me like he just he's like we're not talking any basketball, don't ask me any basketball questions.

00:35:57.675 --> 00:35:59.121
Wow, that's so rude.

00:35:59.121 --> 00:36:00.811
It was really rude just how he said it.

00:36:00.811 --> 00:36:10.221
But then everyone you know my comment section is like, oh well, how do you expect him Like he's always talking basketball and working Like he just he didn't want to talk basketball with you Like why are you getting so offended?

00:36:10.221 --> 00:36:11.161
He's setting a boundary.

00:36:11.902 --> 00:36:15.545
It wasn't necessarily the fact that he didn't want to talk basketball, right.

00:36:15.545 --> 00:36:28.155
It was the fact that, like, if you, why wouldn't you want to talk basketball when that's a part of your life and that's what brought us together is basketball?

00:36:28.155 --> 00:36:28.449
So it would make sense.

00:36:28.449 --> 00:36:32.324
I'm not trying to get any juicy information out of you, but here you are, like sharing stuff about your personal life and all all this.

00:36:32.324 --> 00:36:35.677
It's like if you're okay to share that, like why would you not talk basketball?

00:36:35.677 --> 00:36:36.137
Right?

00:36:36.137 --> 00:36:41.518
But then, anytime his friends would start talking basketball, he would allow them to converse.

00:36:42.282 --> 00:36:44.449
But then the second, I gave my opinion on something.

00:36:44.449 --> 00:36:46.054
Oh no, you guys need to stop talking basketball.

00:36:46.054 --> 00:36:51.275
I'm like you're fucking weird, like yeah, you are weird, like this is like weird energy.

00:36:51.275 --> 00:36:55.233
Then the rest of the day just like got weirder and weirder and weirder and weirder.

00:36:55.233 --> 00:36:57.639
Um, I'm not gonna go too into detail.

00:36:57.639 --> 00:36:59.184
I mean there's a lot of like juicy stuff.

00:36:59.184 --> 00:37:02.295
I'm not gonna throw someone under the bus um, not my business.

00:37:02.295 --> 00:37:10.545
But later, it's just anytime he would try to hang out or whatever it always be at like weird times.

00:37:10.545 --> 00:37:12.572
And I'm like, dude, I'm not coming to your hotel when you get in town.

00:37:12.572 --> 00:37:16.211
I'm not doing that like I'm sorry, I'm just not well like my schedule.

00:37:16.211 --> 00:37:17.501
I'm like I don't give a fuck about your schedule.

00:37:17.501 --> 00:37:24.362
Look, I'm just supposed to drop my schedule to like come hang out with you in your hotel 3 a, 3 am and he doesn't yeah he like doesn't even want to do interview with me.

00:37:24.909 --> 00:37:26.878
So it's like it's everything else except the interview.

00:37:26.878 --> 00:37:29.900
Like I'm sorry, but yeah, my motives, like I am trying to get an interview.

00:37:30.230 --> 00:37:31.273
So we have a funny story.

00:37:31.273 --> 00:37:32.257
We have to tell this story.

00:37:32.349 --> 00:37:46.735
So we were at the W's during Superbowl I forget what year and we met pool having fun, and somehow we ended up in some old lady's room whose room was that?00:37:46.755 --> 00:37:47.056


I have no idea.00:37:47.056 --> 00:37:49.360


Somebody that was at the pool and these but these, um, professional athletes were there.00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:59.143


And he strips down up naked, starts sitting on the furniture in the room and on their bed and the old lady's like, can you please not put your naked butt on my sheets?00:37:59.143 --> 00:38:08.222


And then he goes to the patio that's overlooking the pool and he's like, butt naked, just like wanging his schlong side to side over the balcony for everyone to see.00:38:08.222 --> 00:38:12.134


It was hilarious it was we ended up.00:38:12.153 --> 00:38:13.057


It was in a car.00:38:13.057 --> 00:38:18.777


There was like six of us, like four professional athletes, in this car yeah, four of us in the back seat.00:38:18.878 --> 00:38:29.041


I think two of the guys in the two of us were in the back seat and then two of the guys in the front, like cr, were in the back seat, and then two of the guys in the front like crammed in this clown car with these giant men.00:38:29.061 --> 00:38:29.661


Yeah, I don't even know.00:38:29.902 --> 00:38:30.423


I don't even know.00:38:30.643 --> 00:38:31.349


But I do so.00:38:31.349 --> 00:38:47.838


The guy standing I know I'm going to have to like go through my computer's old hard drive or something, but I know for a fact I have a photo of that guy standing like he like has his arms resting on the balcony like this, looking over, and he's just butt ass naked, like just like looking out over the pool below him.00:38:47.838 --> 00:38:48.981


I need to find it Like.00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:50.496


I know I have a picture of it.00:38:50.496 --> 00:38:51.157


Like you have.00:38:51.157 --> 00:38:59.237


You have a lot of archives when you bring out the hard drive, you know, I think they were nobodies though I don't even remember who they were.00:38:59.438 --> 00:39:01.900


To be honest, I couldn't even tell you a name so I had a question for you.00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:02.760


So we met.00:39:02.760 --> 00:39:05.242


He was a pretty high profile Denver Broncos player.00:39:05.242 --> 00:39:10.106


I won't name names, but we kind of took him under our wing that weekend and we parted with.00:39:10.146 --> 00:39:12.007


It was a different weekend, wasn't it that?00:39:12.027 --> 00:39:16.318


we met him it was a different weekend, but then nothing happened between you that weekend.00:39:16.318 --> 00:39:18.911


But then didn't he fly back and, like you, went to a house party.00:39:18.911 --> 00:39:21.434


Things got crazy and wild and saucy.00:39:21.434 --> 00:39:23.077


Is there anything interesting you can tell us about that?00:39:23.476 --> 00:39:26.862


no, no, I mean nothing interesting.00:39:26.862 --> 00:39:37.253


I didn't and I didn't find out until later that he, he, he wasn't married to her but he had like a long time like life, like partner, girlfriend situation.00:39:37.293 --> 00:39:39.538


No, yeah, these girls are just trying to.00:39:39.538 --> 00:39:40.380


She has to.00:39:40.380 --> 00:39:42.918


They do know she has to and it was like nothing.00:39:42.958 --> 00:39:52.673


There was nothing ever between us romantically, like really it just, you know, we talked and we hung out, that one night we partied and whatever, and it was fine.00:39:52.673 --> 00:39:59.231


But it was just like you like like you could have said something too.00:39:59.231 --> 00:40:04.338


But I get it like they don't want to say anything, because that probably does run off most.00:40:04.978 --> 00:40:20.992


Yeah, I mean, some girls don't care, I know some girls don't care, but I know someone that works, does PR for the Cardinals, and one guy was cheating on his wife and would bring the girl the young girl who I know to over to his house and they'd be like eating McDonald's at 3 am drunk and like the wife would walk in.00:40:20.992 --> 00:40:23.780


Like these girls know and they just don't care.00:40:23.780 --> 00:40:28.969


Like for me, like I don't know, when I was hit on these by these married athletes, I'm like I'm not gonna go there.00:40:28.969 --> 00:40:29.853


You're married with kids.00:40:29.873 --> 00:40:42.956


Like that's absolutely not yeah, there was one time I like went out with the guy and like we were with like someone that he works with and he pulls up with his ring on, and I had like no idea and I was like, oh, this is just a business meeting.00:40:42.956 --> 00:40:54.822


And then, like his intentions were different and like that to me, I'm like, dude, like I had no idea that you were like actually still like married or in a committed relationship, like just different things.00:40:54.822 --> 00:41:00.639


That just caught me off guard, um, and putting me in situations that I don't want to be in.00:41:00.639 --> 00:41:04.596


Um, I'm just trying to think if there's any other stories.00:41:04.596 --> 00:41:15.416


I mean, like I've definitely been to a lot of parties and it's interesting the types of women that they have there, just these girls that are just trying to, like you know, get a bag and they don't have any goals or ambitions.00:41:15.416 --> 00:41:18.280


Like some of these girls I meet, I'm like, oh my God.00:41:18.650 --> 00:41:20.478


I remember going to a party with you once.00:41:20.478 --> 00:41:26.610


Do you remember this?00:41:26.610 --> 00:41:44.460


It was a birthday party and the I don't remember the guy's name, but he had invited you and I just remember feeling like so out of place at this party because the girls it was like it was like they were hired oh yeah, like yes, yeah, yes there's a lot of those out here for the golf open the golf open.00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:48.755


No, no, it was a football player, it was a birthday party.00:41:49.597 --> 00:41:52.798


Oh, I remember it was some football player, I can't remember.00:41:53.019 --> 00:41:56.898


And it was so awkward Invited you and you invited me to go along with you.00:41:56.898 --> 00:42:00.519


Yes, I do remember, and it was the girls that were there.00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:02.070


It was so weird.00:42:02.070 --> 00:42:04.030


It was just like so, not my scene.00:42:04.110 --> 00:42:07.666


And I hate to say this, but they were very beautiful, but they didn't have much personality.00:42:07.686 --> 00:42:07.929


None of them.00:42:07.971 --> 00:42:09.028


So you tried to converse with them?00:42:09.028 --> 00:42:11.557


Yeah, they're just like stale and they don't really speak.00:42:11.679 --> 00:42:12.873


Yes, no, it was so weird.00:42:13.690 --> 00:42:21.961


Like I remember you and I just like sitting out by the pool with our feet in the pool none of the girls here are even interesting.00:42:21.961 --> 00:42:22.463


Like it was.00:42:22.922 --> 00:42:27.505


It was so weird, like the vibes were so weird but that's the thing is, a lot of these men are not interesting.00:42:27.505 --> 00:42:33.641


So, like just because that's true, they have millions of dollars and they have all these nice things and they can play.00:42:33.641 --> 00:42:43.244


You know, a sport at a high level doesn't make them intellectual, doesn't make them smart, doesn't make them good people, so they tend to attract the ones that they can just walk all over.00:42:43.244 --> 00:42:52.190


So it gets to a point where I'm like I don't care who the fuck you are if I can't like converse with you and have a good conversation.00:42:52.190 --> 00:42:53.715


That's deep thought-provoking.00:42:53.715 --> 00:42:57.130


I don't care how much money you make, I don't care what you do for a living.00:42:57.552 --> 00:43:00.737


It is just such a turnoff to me, such a turn and it took a long time.00:43:00.777 --> 00:43:04.003


I mean like I did not respect myself in my 20s at all.00:43:04.003 --> 00:43:11.972


I had like zero respect for myself and I had to like go through those dark times of, like Ashley, what the fuck are you doing?00:43:11.972 --> 00:43:39.222


Like you are not going to get the life that you want doing this childish behavior, allowing men to just walk all over you, you just taking the bare minimum, you allowing guys to just like treat you like a doormat and just every time they come in town, like, oh, I'll just go to this party and this and that like no, no, no, I want to actually have like meaningful relationships, whether they're friendships, relationships, business partners, like it has to be more intentional.00:43:39.222 --> 00:43:42.954


I mean, I would go to these parties like for hopes I would get an interview right.00:43:42.954 --> 00:43:45.699


So just to like see me around drinking whatever.00:43:45.699 --> 00:43:48.710


She's chill, she's cool, like she's one of us, like it's whatever.00:43:48.710 --> 00:43:56.681


Um, also, because they could probably have dirt on me so that they have something, so I can't report certain things on them because they see me doing certain things.00:43:57.083 --> 00:44:10.217


So like I felt comfortable in a sense, where, like they can trust me, where I'm not going to like throw anyone under the bus, I'm not going to use names, I'm not going to like tell things that I've seen, which I've seen a lot, um, and that's their business.00:44:10.217 --> 00:44:12.429


That's not my business to tell I don't care what they do.00:44:12.429 --> 00:44:14.974


You're cheating on your wife, okay, it doesn't affect me, I don't give a fuck.00:44:14.974 --> 00:44:16.416


Like that's between y'all.00:44:16.596 --> 00:44:23.364


Like I'm not going to be here, like I'm not my circus, no, I'm not gonna be here trying to warn her and I don't know the situation y'all have.00:44:23.405 --> 00:44:30.929


like you guys might have talked about that y'all might have some writing thing, something in place that says, like you know, don't ask, don't tell, or like, hey, I'm providing this lifestyle for you.00:44:30.929 --> 00:44:34.721


Like you don't get to dictate what I do when I'm on the road, and that's fine.00:44:34.721 --> 00:44:38.115


If that's your relationship, I cannot judge, I don't care what you do.00:44:38.115 --> 00:44:39.719


Um, it's just for me.00:44:39.719 --> 00:44:57.143


Like it was hard to go to some of those parties and actually like have meaningful conversations, and like I didn't want to be like hammered drunk and like all this and that, so I would go just to like Show Face and hope to get interviews.00:44:57.143 --> 00:45:05.496


And I was able to lock down a couple and get some interviews like that way, which has been nice and just you know saying what's up, seeing you know familiar faces that I hadn't seen in a while.00:45:06.016 --> 00:45:11.342


But, like you guys said, like these girls are very surface level, they don't respect themselves.00:45:11.342 --> 00:45:15.985


I've been there, I know what it's like, so I can't be around that I mean, especially at this age now.00:45:15.985 --> 00:45:18.146


Like you won't catch me in Old Town or any of these parties.00:45:18.146 --> 00:45:32.760


Like I barely and like I like to like go to dinner have a glass of wine, maybe go to a bar, just have like one you know glass of something and then leave.00:45:32.760 --> 00:45:36.130


Um, I'm not gonna be like out until three, four in the morning anymore, dressing the way that these girls dress, with like just nothing but like nipple covers on.00:45:36.150 --> 00:45:39.659


I'm like I cannot be around this shit anymore what is up with that?00:45:39.739 --> 00:45:46.277


nowadays, the style is so skimpy like you go to old town and you see women with, like just tassels on or bikini tops.00:45:46.277 --> 00:45:48.646


People travel in bikini tops, like on airplanes.00:45:48.646 --> 00:45:50.936


Like it's gotten so skimpy now, hasn't it?00:45:51.016 --> 00:45:58.581


well, it's changed from the days of wearing like business casual to the clubs, like when we were going to the clubs it was like you wore like your blazer and your bodycon.00:45:58.581 --> 00:46:07.315


You're like herve lege dress and your and your heels right, like it was like day to night in the clubs and now it's like they wear nothing.00:46:07.335 --> 00:46:11.510


Like you see, seriously, women in thongs on the dance floor at a nightclub.00:46:11.913 --> 00:46:12.974


They don't respect themselves.00:46:12.974 --> 00:46:13.878


It's that simple.00:46:13.878 --> 00:46:18.617


They're feeding for attention and then when they get the male attention or the male gaze, they cry wolf.00:46:18.617 --> 00:46:25.001


I mean, I'm not saying that women deserve, you know, certain advances, but you're dressing like this.00:46:25.001 --> 00:46:26.755


Like what do you expect?00:46:26.755 --> 00:46:32.722


People are going to stare, people are going to want to come at you and ask you if you want a drink or ask you to go home with them.00:46:32.722 --> 00:46:36.260


Like you can't get mad when this is the energy you're putting out.00:46:36.260 --> 00:46:40.376


So, and that's the thing with like dating these days, like too many women are just so easy.00:46:40.376 --> 00:46:42.659


They're not making men work for it anymore.00:46:42.659 --> 00:46:48.103


So when a man doesn't have to work for it anymore and he can just get it wherever he wants, that's why they just like okay, you don't want to be with me, bye.00:46:48.103 --> 00:46:50.867


Next, you know I got a whole laundry list.00:46:50.867 --> 00:46:53.496


I have a whole line out the door, right, you know, for my next victim.00:46:53.516 --> 00:46:54.237


Yeah, what do we always say?00:46:54.237 --> 00:46:59.775


Like, if you send out 10 messages that are like want to bang, one out of 10 is going to say yes.00:46:59.775 --> 00:47:01.518


So, like, why would they try any harder than?00:47:01.518 --> 00:47:03.219


That you know like why would it?00:47:03.219 --> 00:47:04.521


Why, you know when?00:47:04.521 --> 00:47:09.487


When one out of every 10 women make it that easy, I feel bad for this gender.00:47:09.527 --> 00:47:16.434


I feel bad for the generation and I even feel bad for like people in my age demographic, like in our 30s, is just it's.00:47:16.434 --> 00:47:19.005


It's harder because where are you going to meet people?00:47:19.005 --> 00:47:27.342


I don't go to the clubs anymore and I don't really want to like be drinking all night and go to a bar, so it's like where, where are you supposed to go?00:47:27.342 --> 00:47:29.672


It's difficult, like you know, I try to put myself out there.00:47:29.672 --> 00:47:36.902


I'll go to different coffee shops and do work, bring my computer, different restaurants, I'll try, but it's like I haven't had any luck.00:47:36.902 --> 00:47:41.998


I've met people which has been cool, but like nothing that stands out as has been material.00:47:41.998 --> 00:47:54.552


But it's difficult because the social media aspect everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side, when really it's just you need to water what you already have um, because all that's true all that's fake grass for sure, it's true, it's all fake.00:47:54.632 --> 00:47:56.661


So what is the worst that you've ever been on do?00:47:56.681 --> 00:48:00.393


you have a disaster story you want to share can you think of one?00:48:00.512 --> 00:48:02.856


oh, the worst date fished or.00:48:05.221 --> 00:48:14.090


I wouldn't say like I've had any like dates where I'm like embarrassing story like embarrassing moment that happened to you on a date surprising moment, trying to think of all my dates.00:48:14.090 --> 00:48:26.228


There's a lot, I feel like some of them just like I've just taken out of my memory um blacked out, yeah, or just like, or just like not even worth remembering00:48:26.248 --> 00:48:27.652


because I'm just like whatever.00:48:27.652 --> 00:48:32.143


Um, I mean, there was one.00:48:32.143 --> 00:48:40.922


I would say there was, I've had like a good date, like I've had good dates, but it's nothing like nothing, like bad I wouldn't say anything like stands out as bad.00:48:40.922 --> 00:48:47.630


I mean there's guys where I'm probably not gonna like see them again or it's too boring, Like if you're just boring, and I just don't feel like the like.00:48:47.650 --> 00:48:54.293


Like we also have to have like a sexual chemistry right Like there's some guys that I'm like okay, they check off all the boxes except like I don't feel physically attracted to them.00:48:54.293 --> 00:48:56.356


Um, and that's important too.00:48:56.356 --> 00:49:01.101


Uh, date spots, I mean, I'm very like I, I like the first date to be coffee.00:49:01.101 --> 00:49:03.684


I know a lot of girls are like no, you need to take me to a five-star restaurant.00:49:03.784 --> 00:49:05.246


I like the first date to be coffee too.00:49:05.309 --> 00:49:07.137


We've talked about this on multiple episodes.00:49:07.217 --> 00:49:08.039


It's casual.00:49:08.190 --> 00:49:11.398


I like the first date to be coffee, it's quick and easy, easy escape, yeah.00:49:11.619 --> 00:49:12.641


It's a very easy escape.00:49:12.641 --> 00:49:15.460


I can kind of get a feel if I like you or not and I want to see you again.00:49:15.460 --> 00:49:29.496


It have to invest hundreds of dollars on a first date with a girl that he doesn't even know.00:49:29.496 --> 00:49:32.043


And this like weird stigma that like, oh, if he doesn't, then he's broke and he's not a man you want to be with.00:49:32.043 --> 00:49:39.918


No, I do think like women also need to earn that too, and I'm not saying that we need to like put out or do anything bad, but like why would a guy want to invest on us, like when he doesn't know us?00:49:39.918 --> 00:49:42.621


And I think like the first date could be a coffee date.00:49:42.621 --> 00:49:50.289


The next day it could maybe be like a brunch or a lunch or something a little bit more low key, and you can work your way up to those five-star restaurants.00:49:50.289 --> 00:49:56.621


If he just starts out with a five-star restaurant, you're going to expect that every single time on a date and that's pretty difficult.00:49:56.621 --> 00:50:07.523


Like if your first date is like my friend was telling me that first date he took a girl on a trip and then suddenly he was surprised that she expected to stay at all these five-star resorts when they were traveling around the country.00:50:07.523 --> 00:50:09.626


And I was like you, kind of messed up.00:50:09.626 --> 00:50:11.036


I was like I'm going to side with her.00:50:11.036 --> 00:50:17.360


Usually I side with the guys on some of this stuff, but I'm like I'm going to side with her because you set the table like that.00:50:17.360 --> 00:50:27.574


She's only going to want to go up for that, exactly up from there, exactly.00:50:27.574 --> 00:50:29.298


So I think the smarter move is to just, you know, a coffee date.00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:29.882


I'm big, I love the Henry.00:50:29.882 --> 00:50:30.342


The Henry is so good.00:50:30.342 --> 00:50:31.166


I love the global ambassador.00:50:31.166 --> 00:50:31.567


Coffee is amazing.00:50:31.567 --> 00:50:32.309


Um, service is great.00:50:32.309 --> 00:50:34.976


I would say those two are like my favorite spots for coffee.00:50:34.976 --> 00:50:37.663


Service wise for food, all the things.00:50:37.663 --> 00:50:44.980


Um price points, at least at Henry, like aren't too crazy, or it can even be like flower child or it could be.00:50:44.980 --> 00:50:47.963


You know, just something like very easy, don't get me wrong.00:50:47.963 --> 00:50:49.025


I like steak 44.00:50:49.025 --> 00:50:57.282


I like Mastro's, I like Dominic's, I like all the nice things, but I am totally okay with a coffee date, totally fine.00:50:57.490 --> 00:51:01.001


Speaking of being smart with your money, what time is it?00:51:01.349 --> 00:51:07.672


It's time for the Keep More Minute Sponsored by Tactical Tax Strategies.00:51:07.672 --> 00:51:11.583


They help you keep more in your pocket, we help you keep more in your relationship.00:51:11.583 --> 00:51:18.032


So we always do a viewer question this one or a listener question this one is more like have you guys seen those?00:51:18.032 --> 00:51:21.099


Like the Reddit posts that are like am I the asshole?00:51:21.481 --> 00:51:23.795


And it's like someone that writes in there like am I the asshole?00:51:23.795 --> 00:51:25.099


That's what I feel like this is more.00:51:25.099 --> 00:51:32.125


It's not so much a question, but Jeff wants to go to the Phoenix Open with his female friend from high school.00:51:32.125 --> 00:51:36.835


He purchased the tickets and when his wife found out she was super excited to go.00:51:36.835 --> 00:51:40.713


He had to break the news that he didn't buy his wife a ticket.00:51:40.713 --> 00:51:44.960


He doesn't want his wife to join, as he wants to give his friend his full attention.00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:47.702


Is this wrong and how should he approach this?00:51:47.702 --> 00:51:49.045


Is he the asshole?00:51:49.045 --> 00:51:51.797


Yes, I agree 1,000%.00:51:51.818 --> 00:51:52.527


Why can't his wife join?00:51:52.547 --> 00:51:54.856


Asshole Like oh have fun together, right?00:51:54.876 --> 00:52:01.219


Yeah, I agree, if you can't bring your partner around, your old high school friends, there's something going going on?00:52:01.239 --> 00:52:01.840


what are you trying to?00:52:01.860 --> 00:52:04.063


hide exactly and did you guys hook up before?00:52:04.063 --> 00:52:08.010


Yeah, I need to know the the backstory there yeah that is so weird.00:52:08.010 --> 00:52:16.590


Like I have a guy friend that has a girlfriend and we all usually hang out together, go places together.00:52:16.590 --> 00:52:19.458


It's not like, oh, like you can't bring her even though I knew him first.00:52:19.458 --> 00:52:21.552


Yeah, I want him to bring her yeah.00:52:21.552 --> 00:52:23.277


I don't want to be alone with him.00:52:23.277 --> 00:52:24.811


That's weird, like it's just.00:52:24.811 --> 00:52:27.016


That is so disrespectful.00:52:27.195 --> 00:52:29.240


I would be you need to buy your wife a ticket.00:52:29.240 --> 00:52:31.333


That's our advice, all three of us.00:52:31.755 --> 00:52:34.786


Yeah, or get two tickets and find a friend for her to bring.00:52:34.786 --> 00:52:37.554


Yes, right, yeah, so that you're not having to entertain yeah, yeah.00:52:38.016 --> 00:52:40.262


So now it's time for the sauciest segment of the show.00:52:40.670 --> 00:52:43.016


Okay, meat grab oh god, I saw some of.00:52:43.016 --> 00:52:45.724


I might not answer any of them, some are innocent.00:52:45.985 --> 00:52:46.806


Some are not so innocent.00:52:46.909 --> 00:52:47.996


We need the innocent ones.00:52:47.996 --> 00:52:51.034


I'll do the innocent ones, just pick one.00:52:51.570 --> 00:52:56.813


You know, the white ones are the ones the cards are a little too daring, so I had to create my own, innocent ones.00:52:56.833 --> 00:52:57.934


They're very daring.00:52:57.934 --> 00:52:58.795


I was looking at some of.00:52:58.795 --> 00:53:03.900


I'm like I am not talking about my favorite sex position on a podcast.00:53:05.382 --> 00:53:07.364


How would you spice up a stale relationship?00:53:07.364 --> 00:53:09.206


We talked about this on the last episode.00:53:12.329 --> 00:53:17.021


How would you if you've been married for 25 years, which I think I'm probably past that point by now where I'm not going to be married 25 years.00:53:17.021 --> 00:53:24.467


But how would I spice up a stale relationship?00:53:24.467 --> 00:53:31.358


I like to cook, so maybe cooking when he comes home from work and lingerie Spice it up some chilies, yeah, spice it up with food and my outfit.00:53:31.449 --> 00:53:39.757


So instead of wearing my apron, where I can wear nothing under the apron, or I can wear like lingerie while I'm cooking and just take care of him for the night, you know.00:53:39.757 --> 00:53:44.351


And then I mean there's some other things, night, you know.00:53:44.351 --> 00:53:47.445


And then I mean there's some other things, some rated r things we can add in, spice it up, but it'll never be with another person like that's a hard.00:53:47.465 --> 00:53:49.913


No, you would never bring in a third, absolutely not.00:53:49.913 --> 00:53:59.034


I think it's nope if a guy even asked me that I'm probably gonna break up with you if you, even if I even know that you entertain that kind of stuff, I think like you disrespect women and I don't think you respect yourself.00:53:59.034 --> 00:54:03.101


But anyways, like that's to each his own right, not, not for me, not for me.00:54:03.101 --> 00:54:04.244


I would never be in a relationship like that.00:54:04.244 --> 00:54:14.340


But yeah, I would maybe just like spice it up with you know, outfits, toys, things like that, but yeah, and maybe travel.00:54:14.340 --> 00:54:17.898


I like outfits, I like the men love outfits.00:54:18.391 --> 00:54:19.393


Outfits and toys.00:54:19.393 --> 00:54:20.960


I think would be it.00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:22.418


But that's the thing is relationships.00:54:22.418 --> 00:54:24.407


You have to keep nurturing them.00:54:24.407 --> 00:54:27.898


You do and people think, oh, once you're in a relationship you don't have to keep dating the person.00:54:27.898 --> 00:54:34.139


No, like, I want to keep going on dates, I want to keep getting to know you, I want to keep doing fun things and experiencing life.00:54:34.269 --> 00:54:45.472


You've got to keep, like you said, dating, keep being romantic, doing those romantic gestures, always, always, well, that's a wrap.00:54:45.472 --> 00:54:47.601


Thank you so much for joining us this week on the meat market and thank you to amazing ashley.00:54:47.601 --> 00:54:51.793


If you want to meet her, like, follow, subscribe on our social media at meat market podcast and send us a dm.00:54:51.793 --> 00:54:55.121


And thank you to our sponsor, tactical tax strategies.00:54:55.121 --> 00:55:01.652


If you want to preserve your wealth this tax season and keep more in your wallet, you need to contact tactical tax strategies.00:55:01.652 --> 00:55:02.576


Thanks so much.00:55:02.576 --> 00:55:04.300


See you next week at the meat market.00:55:04.300 --> 00:55:08.880


Oh, my God, I just totally got catfished.00:55:08.880 --> 00:55:10.918


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.00:55:11.389 --> 00:55:16.021


So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:55:16.021 --> 00:55:18.173


His wife just reached out to me.