The 15% Success Rate: Why Modern Marriages Fail
In a candid episode of The Meat Market, hosts Lindsay and Jess sit down with Steve, a seasoned divorce attorney from Scottsdale, who doesn’t hold back when it comes to the raw truth about love, marriage, and the breakdowns in between. His take? The landscape of relationships has changed drastically—and not necessarily for the better.
At the top of Steve’s list of relationship killers: narcissism. He describes narcissistic partners as people who are “never wrong, impossible to satisfy, and see their spouse as the source of all problems.” In the courtroom, they’re relentless. “They make great clients,” he admits from a business perspective, “because they’ll litigate everything.” While both men and women can display narcissistic traits, Steve sees it more often in men during divorce proceedings.
The pandemic? It only accelerated what was already happening. Couples stuck at home 24/7 realized they couldn’t stand being around each other—and divorce rates skyrocketed. But ironically, the shift to remote work and virtual courtrooms made Steve’s job easier. No more emotional office visits or courtroom theatrics—just efficient Zoom calls and digital filings.
Then there’s the economics of divorce. With rising mortgage rates, many couples who bought homes before the spike are staying in unhappy marriages simply because they can’t afford to leave. “They’re not in love anymore—they’re stuck,” Steve says. It’s a financial standoff that’s reshaping modern relationships.
Social media and dating apps have also rewritten the infidelity script. Steve recalls the early AOL chat room days, but today it’s Facebook and Instagram where cheating often begins. “We always check social media—it would be malpractice not to,” he says. People leave digital breadcrumbs everywhere, and those can be the difference between winning or losing a case. His advice to clients? “Sanitize your social media. Yesterday.”
One of the biggest surprises Steve shares is who actually initiates divorce. Despite assumptions, it’s not men. “Women file for divorce about 70% of the time,” he says. “And when both partners are educated, that jumps to 90%.” Why? Because women are burning out under the weight of impossible expectations—to be perfect mothers and full-time professionals. Many reach a breaking point and decide they want more.
And here’s the stat that might make you reevaluate everything: Only about 15% of marriages, according to Steve, are what he’d call truly successful. Yes, 56% end in divorce. But of the remaining marriages, only a third of couples say they’re actually happy. The rest? Either miserable or simply too worn down to make a change.
For those dipping a toe back into dating post-divorce, Steve warns against falling into the dopamine trap of dating apps. “Most people on there aren’t serious,” he says. His go-to advice? Keep it simple at first. Coffee. Ice cream. Casual vibes. Save the steak dinner for later—if it’s worth it.
Steve’s insights may not be sugar-coated, but they’re eye-opening. In a world flooded with dating advice, sometimes the most grounded perspective comes from someone who sees how it all ends.
