WEBVTT
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Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.
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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.
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So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.
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His wife just reached out to me.
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Welcome to the Meat Market.
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The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.
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We are your hosts.
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I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess and today's sizzling single is Varese Welcome.
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Thank you for having me.
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We have an international man in the house Fitting, because today's International Women's Day right.
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Wait, is it today?
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or was it yesterday it was yesterday.
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Yeah you're right, yeah, except we've got an international man, not an international.
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Well, we have an international woman.
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Oh yeah, we've been in over eight countries yeah eight countries wow, my father was a diplomat so I've been around.
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So back to you.
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So I'm curious you've been in the states about 20 years.
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Do you notice a difference in international women versus american women?
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um, yes, um well, I mean, I've dated people from different parts of the country, of the world too, and there is.
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But fundamentally, you know, we're human beings, we just grow up and we're a product of our circumstance and what we do.
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But there are certain differences.
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I think Indian men, indian women, tend to be a little bit more conservative, but once they're out of their shell they're not.
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I think American women sometimes can be a little standoffish, but maybe that's just Scottsdale, you know so, Scottsdale.
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But I've met all types so I can't really say there's like a material difference.
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People are people, no matter where they're from.
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Well, we had heard that women now are starting to expect the man on a first date to pay for their hair and makeup.
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Our producer was telling us he was going to go on a first date and he got a text that said hey, it's going to cost me $200 to get my hair and makeup done to look good for you.
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Here's my Venmo handle Like.
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I feel like that's an American thing, right, totally Right.
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Oh, that is maybe more than an American thing.
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Has that ever happened to you?
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Oh hell, no, that would be a like.
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No, thank you, enjoy your night at home.
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Enjoy your hair and makeup With another man At another man's expense.
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When you guys had sent me that sample of one of the interviews you did and there was this story about this.
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There was this discussion you guys were having about the woman expecting the man to pay for the babysitter.
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I'm like, wow, that is unique.
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And no.
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So you wouldn't't if a woman asked you to.
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Would that be a hard no, would you hard no?
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hard.
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No, I'm taking out time too.
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My time's valuable.
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Uh, why don't you pay for my massage and my haircut and beard trim?
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Those things are not cheap these days that is true men's haircuts.
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Men's haircuts are getting expensive I have a friend who has an 18 year old son and and he's very particular about his barber and his mom is just like since when did men's haircuts become so expensive?
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I was having this conversation two days ago and I think I was at dinner with a couple of female friends of mine and I was like, yeah, I'm going for a haircut.
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They're like how much does that cost?
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$15?
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.
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I'm like where do you live it?
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I was like how much does that cost?
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15 bucks?
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I'm like where do you live?
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It was like $80 plus tips.
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So it ain't cheap.
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So yeah, if they want to pay for my stuff, then sure I'll pay for this.
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So you have female friends that you're.
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So this has been a discussion too on a couple of episodes.
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Do you feel that adult men and women can be friends with each other platonically if they?
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Are mature and healthy and healthy?
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Absolutely.
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But I will say you know, men are men.
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That dynamic is more pushed by women than men.
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It is easier for women to be friends platonically with men than it is for men with women, but men will mirror whatever the vibe is in general.
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But yes, I have a lot of interesting and fun single female friends.
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That if they called you tomorrow and said hey, vresh, let's put our friendship aside, let's do this thing, you'd still say no.
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I mean no, why would I do that?
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Like I said, I am a man, so I have a question Do you get people asking you stupid questions?
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Like when I was single, I would get so many men saying, oh so you're from england.
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What language do you speak over there?
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Or how do you say hello in your language?
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or is england the capital of france?
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Like do you?
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ever get people that are just don't know much about india, where it is, or um, yes and no, it's kind of all over the place.
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But one thing I do get pretty consistently is oh my god, your accent is like not even there.
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You speak english really good and get that.
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It's not well, but it's good, but yeah, I think that's.
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That's one of the standard ones I get is look, oh my god, your english is so good I get that.
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I used to get that a lot when I was dating, like, oh, you're from england, what language do you speak over there?
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your english is so good, like in england we speak english the queen's english does your family want you to date an Indian woman or marry an Indian woman?
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Has that ever been a thing for you Been there?
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done that, so now they don't really care that much.
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They just want me to be happy, you know.
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So they're not trying to arrange a marriage for you.
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They're not that old school.
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That did happen for a while.
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But, like I said, you know, we get older and they just want me to be happy and find someone.
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At least they just don't want me to be alone, which I don't want either.
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Yeah, are your family here or are they back in India?
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Yeah, so what's left?
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Just my dad and I.
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He's here.
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He actually lives about a mile away from me, oh nice, so it's nice.
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I go see him every now and then and check up on him.
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He's getting older.
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He's 83 now, so you know, it's that time of life where the people that you care about are getting older and becoming more dependent.
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So it's kind of interesting.
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But yeah, that's him and I.
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You know what I love about the Indian culture, so I lived in England and I had a lot of Indian neighbors and Indian friends and I love how like a lot of the parents live with their children.
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Yeah, it's not going to work for me.
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Yeah, no, I love you Dad, but no.
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I have a patient.
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They're an Indian family and the mother's parents live with them and the father's parents come and visit a few times a year, and they always stay in the house, and so it's like every time I go there for therapy I never know who I'm going to get, because so many of the family members live and luckily they're very well off and they have a very large house.
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That makes it easier, and so they can live sort of in separate sides of the house, but that's yeah super, I feel like super common in the Indian culture.
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It is very common, and I mean I have cousins and friends.
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It's like joint family system which you know.
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In many ways it's really good because it allows everybody to rely on each other.
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I mean there's a reason they say it takes a village, you know.
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So childcare or just doing stuff, managing things.
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Then they don't have to ask the man they're dating to pay for their childcare because it's built in.
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Yeah, but I think I'm a little bit nonconformist.
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I'm not your typical Indian person in general and I think I value my independence.
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I want to be close to people I care about, but also have space to do my own thing.
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So you're very successful.
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Tell us what you do.
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Oh, I wouldn't say it's super successful, but okay, yeah, so I'm a CEO of a healthcare year four startup.
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It's my second time around.
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I was co-founder CEO of a medical group that I started with my late brother and we grew it and exited and decided I wanted to jump back because I'm a glutton for punishment.
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So this is my second time trying to build a company and do something with it.
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So how do you juggle your career and dating?
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Do you find that difficult?
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It is, but I think I'm a little fortunate because you know I'm older and wiser and this is my second go around.
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So I try and not live to work.
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I try and work to live, and I have a lot of different interests and things that I like to do, so I try and take out time for what is important, and relationships are one of them smart.
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I think that's another difference between Americans and other countries.
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Here people are so consumed with work yes, yes, yes.
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That's what defines us, yes whereas other countries, like Europe, they close in the middle of the day for three hours for their siesta.
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Like they, they definitely.
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What is it?
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They work to live, yeah.
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Well, and I had made a comment in one of our previous episodes about like being productive Right, and all of the comments on social media were about work, work and finances, and I'm like there are so many other ways to be productive being physically productive, being mentally, you know, spiritually, emotionally, philanthropically productive, like there are so many ways to be productive in your life, but, as I think it is, as Americans, when we hear productivity, all we think about is work and finances, and it's there's like we as humans are so should be so much more well-rounded than that.
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We should, we should, we should.
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I mean it's not just an american thing like I grew up in india and there's a lot of pressure to succeed professionally and your identity is a lot of times tied to that and that puts a lot of pressure on families and kids.
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Like I didn't grow up particularly you know bright and getting the eight grades.
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I was off playing tennis and doing things, but the pathways were limited and it was always like, okay, if you don't do this one thing, then you are not successful.
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Which is kind of ironic because now you said I was successful and I've never really seen myself that way.
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I just kind of made my way through and got lucky he's humble ladies I think that is an important thing to be.
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You don't see too much of that these days so tell us about you.
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Let's get to know voresh.
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What are your hobbies?
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uh, okay, so I am an athlete I've always been, so tennis has been my first sporting love.
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Um how do you feel about pickleball, the new trend?
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oh, how much time do we have?
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Um, no, look, mean pickleball is is here to stay.
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I'm one of those tennis players.
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Typically, tennis players have like a love hate relationship with pickleball.
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They hate pickleball because it's you know, it's not really tennis, it's not a real sport kind of thing.
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It's taking over the court.
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Yes, that is.
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That is a legitimate concern because, you know, as it is, we don't have enough tennis courts and for for the people that love the game and I say that because I was part of the board of directors of USTA Southwest so we used to look at metrics like how many people are playing and how many courts do we have available.
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So that is a real thing.
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But, that said, I do think pickleball is fun.
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I do play it socially.
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I get the luxury that I'm a decent tennis player, so I automatically become a really good pickleball player.
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And people like, oh my god, how long have you been been playing?
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and I'm like this is my second time wow and then I'm like, wow, I'm like, yeah, I'm a tennis player, yeah, so, yeah, no, I, I really do enjoy it.
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I have friends that play and I'm actually interesting.
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Um, I just got something called an invitation to something called Founders League.
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It's a pickleball league that started in Texas a few years ago by like founders and CEOs and they just wanted to get together and shoot the shit and that's kind of evolved into a whole league over seven cities.
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So there's one starting in Scottsdale.
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So I met with the guy and I'll be playing in a league.
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Oh, wow, so yeah, that's exciting yeah, so tennis has been a big part of my life.
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Um, golf, love golf.
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Hardest sport, um, there is um, but I really enjoy it.
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There's nothing quite like hitting a really good golf shot and then trying to finish the round trying to replicate that as much as possible, which is the hardest thing to do so one of the new things now is like ladies going to golf courses to try to meet men, because men yeah, where I haven't seen any.
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That's what I was just gonna ask.
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You tell me, I'll set it up have you had any dating luck?
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On the golf course.
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What?
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about cart girls.
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Have you ever hit on a golf cart girl?
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I am not very good at hitting on people.
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It's weird.
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Have you ever hit on a golf cart girl?
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I am not very good at hitting on people.
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It's weird.
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No, you don't have a pickup line.
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I do not.
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I cringe at that.
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And it's just not my like that's.
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I think that's one of the reasons why I might be still single, because I find it really hard to approach a woman cold, Like I'm really good at having a conversation, but going up to a stranger and trying to break the ice is just, I just I don't know so let's say you're in a social setting and you see the most beautiful woman that you've ever seen before and you really want to talk to her do you?
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just not because you're too scared, or what do you do?
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How do you?
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What line do you use, or I don't?
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that's the thing if somebody introduces me, then I'm happy to have a conversation, or or, if the circumstance, if we're at the bar and we're ordering a similar drink, something to like organically open up a conversation.
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But if you're sitting across the bar from each other and you're just looking at her from across the bar, do you look?
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Do you look away?
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Do you not look?
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Do you look down?
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Yeah, I mean of course.
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Have you ever sent a drink?
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over.
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I have never sent a drink, no, maybe that's what you should do, and I actually, come to think of it, I don't really sit at bars alone.
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It's just.
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It's strange.
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I mean sometimes I will with a laptop or whatever, but nowadays it's so difficult.
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Back in the day I'm just aging myself here but back in the day, before cell phones, people would actually sit uh and actually engage in conversation across the table, but now it's so hard to break that digital barrier that is in front.
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I mean, it was maybe a month ago.
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I was at Postino's.
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I go there and hang out sometimes and you know, work or whatever.
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I didn't have my laptop, so I was just sitting there just people watching, and literally every single person at the bar was looking at their phone.
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I'm like, how am I supposed to break that barrier?
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Yes.
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So it's really difficult and I think that's common these days and that's probably why people don't meet as much organically is because there's just too many barriers and people are just jaded by their experiences.
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So what is your ideal type?
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Oh, I don't know if I have a type, but Okay, so I have this thing where I feel like there's four dimensions to compatibility or whatever.
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So there's physical, mental, uh, emotional and spiritual.
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So with that in mind, I think physically I would say somebody who's athletic I think I find intelligence attractive, someone who is independent Emotionally, somebody who is secure and emotionally vulnerable and open, because I feel like I am now.
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And then, spiritually, somebody who has got some perspective of life, because I've been through a lot and I find the depth that comes from people who have experienced things is at a different level.
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So if you get four of those shit, sign me up.
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But I'll be happy with two and a half.
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I was just going to say that.
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What's your minimum requirement?
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Two and a half out of four, okay.
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Three would be great.
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Do you have any embarrassing date stories or, okay, three would be great.
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Do you have any embarrassing date stories, or do you?
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have any crazy first dates.
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Yeah, I think you and I kind of briefly talked about that and I have an update on that.
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So the strangest one, which I've never experienced more than once, thank god was so I met this girl who was actually my Lyft driver.
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So this was a few years ago, before my last relationship.
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I was single, kind of doing my thing.
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I was going to meet some friends at the JW Marriott.
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There was apparently some sort of live band there.
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So you know, I'm feeling good and like I had a drink before I left, so I was feeling kind of loose.
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So I get in the Uber and this, this girl.
00:15:21.331 --> 00:15:39.285
It was dark so I didn't really get to see her too much, but she was like interesting and funny and she just moved into town and we started talking and then talking leads to flirting, so I end up, uh, uh, leaving the uber ride with her phone number and then she was going to a wedding in Florida or something for a few weeks.
00:15:39.285 --> 00:15:46.039
She came back, we connected, we end up going to this little um, we end up meeting at this place called white rabbit.
00:15:46.039 --> 00:15:54.063
It's a little um speakeasy down in gilbert and I was like man, she's probably not gonna show right, shows up on time.
00:15:54.063 --> 00:15:58.780
I'm like, wow, that's, I respect that in a like a beautiful black dress, like looking like.
00:15:58.780 --> 00:16:00.485
I'm like, damn, this is that girl.
00:16:00.485 --> 00:16:02.831
So I'm like I'm feeling pretty good.
00:16:02.831 --> 00:16:09.067
So we go inside have, start, have a couple of drinks and we're talking and we're laughing and we're just flirting and all that.
00:16:09.067 --> 00:16:10.429
I think.
00:16:10.429 --> 00:16:12.601
At one point I think we briefly kissed too.
00:16:13.683 --> 00:16:17.309
Maybe it must have been a memorable kiss.
00:16:17.309 --> 00:16:20.500
It was so dark, so this is what happened next.