Love Advice from a Divorce Lawyer?😬

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Oh my God, I just totally got catfished.

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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

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So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

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His wife just reached out to me.

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Welcome to the Meat Market.

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The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess and today's sizzling single is Steve.

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Welcome.

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How you doing so?

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You are one of the top divorce attorneys in Scottsdale.

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I want to hear what do you think is the number one reason why people are getting divorced?

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Well, I don't know about top, but in our eyes.

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Yeah, exactly for today.

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People are, you know, people are just.

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They get angry with each other.

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They we deal with a lot of narcissistic parents and those people are really difficult to deal with.

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So what makes someone narcissistic?

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What are the qualities?

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You know they're, they're always right, everything they do is perfect, and they you can't do enough for them, and so anything you do is not satisfactory and you've got to live up to their expectations.

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And you've got to live up to their expectations and you've got to be perfect.

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And that's hard in today's society.

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There's a lot of pressures on parents, a lot of pressures on people, financial pressures and it's hard, it's hard to keep people happy.

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I feel like this is very much like a hot button word, like people.

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Do you see a lot of people that you believe are actual, like true, true narcissists.

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Oh, yes, yes, okay, because when?

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we get them.

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They're a goldmine Because they keep it going, they keep the litigation going, they're never wrong, interesting.

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And they, you know they use the lawyer as a battering ram and they just keep pushing it.

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And just, you know, they just keep pushing and pushing, and pushing, and they, just you know, they just keep pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and they just they never stop.

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And you know, you try to talk them out of it because at some point it becomes counterproductive and silly, but they just keep going.

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So you must love the narcissist Ching ching bling bling, exactly Paying your mortgage, right, yeah, exactly, I mean if you want to go buy somebody a nice bag.

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I mean, you've got to have a few narcissists in there.

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Would you say typically it's the males who are the narcissists, or do you have females as well who are the narcissists?

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We?

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have both, but I would say primarily males, Primarily males.

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Yeah, they are the ones who you file for divorce against a narcissist and you're going to suffer because they're going to just keep going.

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They don't want to get a divorce because they didn't do anything wrong.

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They're perfect.

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And so you're going to.

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You're going to be in for a battle unfortunately, wow.

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So.

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So, through your work, through all these cases, do you see a lot of crazy stuff?

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Oh, yeah, yeah, it's.

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I mean, it seems to get crazier and crazier every year.

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People are getting more and more desperate, especially because of financial pressures, and you know the housing market.

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I mean, if you look back, you know we're 2025, you look back five years, you had the COVID situation and people you know, they stayed at home, they yelled at each other.

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All of a sudden, you know they got to deal with this person who they're married to and they got to see him 24-7, and they get sick of him.

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You know I didn't marry this person.

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So then you come out of that and we're in this weird housing market.

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And so people that bought their houses in 2018, 2019, 2020, they got these great mortgages, they got excellent, amazing payments on their houses, and now you know you're thinking I want to get a divorce, but where am I going to live?

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You know how am I going to get a house, how am I going to get a payment like that?

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And so they stay together, and so that's where we're at right now.

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People are kind of staying together.

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They're afraid to leave because it's so hard to make it out there right now.

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You know, it's just daunting.

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It is daunting the housing market.

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It's crazy expensive.

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So did you see a spike in clients after COVID?

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During COVID there was a massive spike and it spread around the world, like, just like the disease spread and we could see it, that you know it was, it was big in every single country in the world and it just spread and it came to the United States and it was just wild, absolutely wild.

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We couldn't file fast enough because people, just you know, they, they were living with this person, that they could put up with them for a few hours but stay with them for 24 hours.

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They couldn't deal with it.

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And that has to make it hard because of the pandemic.

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It was hard to go, you know, see houses, because people weren't doing anything in public and you were probably doing a lot of your interviewing and things via Zoom and via video call.

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Did it make it difficult?

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It was the opposite.

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It turned the job into something you could actually tolerate, because you know when you, when people are so frustrated and pissed off and you got to meet with them, you know they're.

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It's tough, I mean they're angry and they're, and they're difficult, but when you're just on a video or on the phone with them, it's easy.

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That's true, you didn're on the phone with them it's easy, that's true.

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You didn't have to deal with them in person, right?

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And then we stopped doing hearings.

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We started doing hearings from video so we could sit there.

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I did a hearing recently where I had my shirt tie and my shorts.

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That was awesome.

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And my kid comes walking in at 3.30, and he starts doing this weird dance around the room and I don't know what he was doing, it was a lot.

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And so the other attorney and the judge are saying you know what is your kid doing?

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What kind of dance is that?

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And then the dog starts barking and I have to get up and they see my shorts, you know.

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So it's just a.

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It was a disaster.

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But you know it's an easier job when you're doing video because you can handle a lot more work and you don't have to come out of your house.

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That's true, that's nice, so it's a benefit.

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So do you see a lot of infidelity in marriages.

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Yeah, infidelity is just out of control.

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Because you know, I remember, because I've been doing this a long time I remember when people got on AOL and they got in these chat rooms and you know, guys would come to me and say, you know she's in that chat room again and I know she's doing something in that chat room and now, all of a sudden, you know it's, it's.

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They pick up their phone and they on Facebook.

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They can see their, the people they do in high school that are all of a sudden single.

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And so it's so easy to you know back out of a marriage.

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These days it's so easy to see that person that you always wanted to be with and then all of a sudden, the marriage is over, just like that.

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You know, and I think the sign for a lot of guys is, if you're not showing up in those Facebook pictures, that's a warning sign.

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Yeah, or if you change your profile picture to just you, not your family.

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Right, you got to watch that Facebook thing.

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How often do people bring social media like screenshots to you to use in divorce?

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It's actually we're actually taught that we have to look at it now Really, yeah, because it's malpractice not to.

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You have to look at what's going on.

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That's how you find out about.

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You know if you've got a client, potential client, that calls you and says, you know, I'm this, that and the other and I'm a perfect person and I want the kids all the time.

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And then you look up their Facebook profile and you know they got pictures of themselves passed out, drinking bottles everywhere and you know I mean that's stuff that's going to come up.

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So you got to sanitize that Facebook page.

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You got to clean that up.

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Sanitize the Facebook page?

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Yeah, it's nasty out here, that's crazy.

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So would you say the cheaters?

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Are they men or women, or is it 50-50?

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You know, I see a lot of women cheaters, Really An awful lot of women cheaters.

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What that's crazy to me.

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I have a good friend that when they got divorced because she was sleeping with her personal trainer.

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Personal trainer is a pretty common thing, is it pretty?

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common, especially in Scottsdale or is it?

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Common everywhere?

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Have you worked in other parts of the country?

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I mean, it would not just here, but I mean it's, yeah, it's a.

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The personal trainer thing is a big deal, is it?

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Yeah, cause they get that personal trainer going and it's.

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It's history, you're done that.

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And the massage therapist.

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That's funny.

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Yeah, that's funny.

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It's bad news, so I have this list of the professions most likely to cheat Right.

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So nurses and medical staff I know doctors are so bad at cheating with the nurses right.

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Doctors are the worst.

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They are.

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Yeah, doctors are the worst because they're you know, they're on call, they're at the hospital all night and they're under a lot of pressure.

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And those nurses come in and they're, all you know, all dressed up.

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They got the makeup going, you know, they got the gown.

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I mean it's bad, yeah, it's bad, and then secretaries and assistants.

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I actually have a friend and her husband left her for his secretary.

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Yeah, that happens.

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Like you, hear that a lot, I do feel.

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You see that a lot on like TV shows and movies.

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I feel like, and so it like, it's almost like it has to be modeled after real life, right but when you get them getting back to the doctors, those are the narcissists really.

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Oh yeah, okay, the ego the ego.

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Ego is out of control.

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Yeah, out of control.

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Why is that?

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I don't know, because I think a lot of doctors I know are like that.

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Oh, yeah, they think they are playing god or whatever they run the ship they're well educated.

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They're're in control.

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They got a lot of money and typically they make a pretty good money.

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Not all of them, but yeah.

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The third one is, of course, flight crew and flight attendants.

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My husband's a pilot.

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Yeah, those are really bad.

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But you hear, about pilots all the time cheating with their flight attendants.

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Oh, yeah, yeah.

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That's flight attendants.

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Oh yeah, yeah, that's yeah, that goes without saying.

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So every time my husband is like oh my flight's delayed or I got called into work.

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I'm like, did you?

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really get called.

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Yeah, yeah, exactly is that her name now work how convenient.

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Let me put on your tracker here and the last one is uh, fitness and yoga instructors, so like personal trainers, yeah that's.

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That's pretty bad too, because and and part of that is people are competing to see if they can lose the weight, if they're looking good and that's another source of cheating people start getting on those medications, the glp medications.

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They lose a lot of weight and all of a sudden they're you know they're looking great, they're.

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They're competing to see what's out there and you know, and then you got a divorce.

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Oh, yeah, they're getting a lot of attention all of a sudden.

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Yeah, I have a I have a girlfriend who I I'd never heard of this before, but I have a girlfriend who has had multiple happy endings from massages from male masseuses.

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Yes, how does that work?

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Yes, yeah, yeah and that's I've asked her fingers yeah.

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The hands.

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Yeah, yeah, and that's.

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I've asked her before.

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I'm like you must do something, because I get massages a lot and I've never had it happen where the masseuse goes in for the happy ending.

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I've never.

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So I'm like you must be doing something.

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You must be like wiggling a certain way or like pushing your ass out a certain way.

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I've always wondered that, like how do they make the first move?

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Because that seems like a slippery slope.

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Yes, yeah, yeah, wow, it is a thing.

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Yeah, that's interesting.

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So do you have a lot of issues with prenups.

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Like you know, these gold diggers or money hungry women that know marry these guys for money.

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Then they're getting divorced and have any ugly stories there.

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I don't see as much of that.

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I see, I see a little bit of it, but not as much.

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I mean, a lot of times guys, just you know they they don't do the prenup.

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People need to do more prenups because they, you know, you don't want to get someone like me messing around with your personal life when you're just dividing up money and it can get really sticky and so it's just so easy to get the prenup done, get it out of the way and then just avoid a lot of this crap.

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You know.

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But yeah, we see a lot of that, a lot of gold diggers, and especially now when you know people want what they want.

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You know they expect to get certain things.

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They want the nice car, they want the boat, they want the vacations and so, and there's a smaller and smaller pool of people that can do that.

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You know there's just very few people in this economy that can support that kind of demand.

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So so, yeah, so a lot of women are out there looking for that guy.

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And I feel like prenups like traditionally right it's, the men are protecting their assets, their money, and the women feel like it's a, an insult, like you just think I'm a gold digger and I'm after your money.

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So I've heard too of like the infidelity clause that goes into a prenup.

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How, how solid is that?

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If the, if that's what the woman is afraid of, well, I, I don't want you to have all you know I feel like I should get something if there's infidelity.

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How solid is that?

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Well, we don't really get into fault.

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You know that gets into the.

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you know there are marriages that we can do in which fault is an issue, but those are very rare, so we try to steer clear of that.

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The court doesn't want to get into trying to prove proving fault.

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They just don't want to get into that nastiness.

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But I mean, you know, if you want a divorce, you can get a divorce typically, unless you enter into a specific type of marriage, which is extremely rare.

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Short of that, you know, if somebody feels like somebody's cheating on them or emotionally cheating I mean that's a large part of it is when somebody is emotionally cheating and they're just out of the picture, you know they're not um communicating with you, they're not enjoying your presence, they don't want to be with you, and you can tell right away.

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It's like who wants that, you know, and that's the tough part is when that's going on.

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You got to get out of that thing.

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You know, when there's kids it's more complicated.

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You got to work on it.

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But if there's no kids and that person is emotionally out of there, you know why hang out with that.

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You know why put up with that.

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So what is the craziest or ugliest thing that you've seen?

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I've seen some pretty weird stuff Can you share?

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Well, I've seen situations where we've had a few brothers who, each brother, took their turn with the first brother's woman.

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Yeah, wow, yeah Well somebody just killed somebody in my neighborhood, like three weeks ago, the brother.

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So the man's wife was sleeping with his brother.

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So he went to the brother's house and shot and killed him.

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Wow, yeah, that's crazy, yeah, is he?

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in jail now?

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I don't know, I don't know I mean, it wasn't murder, suicide, no, no, I think he probably.

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He maybe would have killed his wife too if she would have been there.

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I have no idea oh, I just I saw the headline.

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I didn.

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I haven't followed up with the story, but it's crazy.

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We had another situation where someone was and we can't mention specifically what happened, but you see these situations where someone's having an affair and it turns out that person happens to be the father of all of this person's children.

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So there were affairs going on for years with the same person.

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Wow, and the spouse didn't know.

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Years with the same person Wow, yeah, that's crazy, and the spouse didn't know.

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Yeah, the spouse didn't know Wow.

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Can you imagine if you found out that none of your children were yours?

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Yeah, I know.

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That would literally drive you crazy, yeah.

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So we see a lot of that.

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We see a lot of yeah, I mean, people do some really awful things.

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Yeah, so tell us about you.

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Where are you from originally?

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Here actually You're from Born and Raised here.

00:14:51.945 --> 00:14:52.144
Yeah.

00:14:52.306 --> 00:14:53.931
Great, and have you been married before?

00:14:53.931 --> 00:14:55.869
Tell us about your past relationship history.

00:14:56.210 --> 00:14:59.423
I was married for a short, relatively short period of time and I have two kids.

00:14:59.423 --> 00:15:06.220
So I'm a little bit, you know, for the age of my kids I'm a little older, um, but it's fun being a single parent.

00:15:06.220 --> 00:15:09.541
I mean it's I've got a 12 year old and 17 year old, 17 year old daughter, and that's.

00:15:09.541 --> 00:15:17.727
That's a little challenging, but because I'm older, I tend to kind of spoil her a little more and so, um, she likes that.

00:15:17.727 --> 00:15:19.201
Obviously, everybody likes to be spoiled.

00:15:19.201 --> 00:15:26.071
Uh, and the 12-year-old, we have a lot of fun and I cook for them, I clean, I do all these things.

00:15:26.071 --> 00:15:28.995
I'm the mother and the father and I kind of enjoy it.

00:15:29.215 --> 00:15:29.875
Are they with you?

00:15:29.875 --> 00:15:32.058
100% of the time no half the time 50-50?

00:15:32.058 --> 00:15:32.058
.

00:15:32.099 --> 00:15:32.500
Half the time.

00:15:32.519 --> 00:15:34.145
yeah, Did you represent yourself in your divorce.

00:15:34.166 --> 00:15:34.587
No, no, no.

00:15:34.587 --> 00:15:39.325
You represent yourself.

00:15:39.325 --> 00:15:40.826
That's what they call having.

00:15:40.826 --> 00:15:43.068
So you don't want to do that and judges don't like that.

00:15:43.308 --> 00:15:44.210
No, I'm sure.

00:15:44.230 --> 00:15:47.894
Yeah, I'm sure they definitely don't like to see that so have you dated much since your divorce?

00:15:47.975 --> 00:15:49.436
Yes, yeah, a fair amount.

00:15:54.342 --> 00:15:54.743
What's the longest?

00:15:54.763 --> 00:15:57.365
relationship since it was a few years.

00:15:57.365 --> 00:15:58.125
Yeah, yeah.

00:15:58.505 --> 00:16:04.030
And, if you don't mind me, asking why did easier, more easily, like sniff out the red flags?

00:16:04.030 --> 00:16:05.072
Because of what you do?

00:16:06.092 --> 00:16:10.996
You can, but you know it's easy to sniff out the flags, but it's also easy to ignore them.

00:16:11.116 --> 00:16:11.636
It is yeah.

00:16:14.580 --> 00:16:16.639
You know, and so you know if something is going and it's good and you like it and there are red flags.

00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:18.548
Sometimes we don't learn from our own mistakes.

00:16:19.019 --> 00:16:20.964
It's like Simon said, blinded by their blue eyes.

00:16:20.964 --> 00:16:22.787
In a man's case blinded by the boobs.

00:16:23.288 --> 00:16:31.961
Yeah, exactly, yeah, it's yeah it's, it's tough, it's tough being.

00:16:31.961 --> 00:16:33.346
You know you get older and you you put up with maybe a little more.

00:16:33.346 --> 00:16:34.692
You know, you, you know more, so you shouldn't do that.

00:16:34.692 --> 00:16:38.302
But sometimes you do it and it's, and that's when you pay for it.

00:16:38.302 --> 00:16:39.283
You know cause.

00:16:39.283 --> 00:16:39.804
You know better.

00:16:40.504 --> 00:16:40.885
It's true.

00:16:40.885 --> 00:16:43.908
Are you looking to get married again, looking for a long-term partner?

00:16:43.908 --> 00:16:44.690
What are you looking for?

00:16:44.890 --> 00:16:45.451
you know, I don't know.

00:16:45.451 --> 00:16:48.455
I kind of want a long-term partner, but it's it's.

00:16:48.455 --> 00:16:49.576
It's so hard.

00:16:49.576 --> 00:16:53.649
You know it's so hard and people's expectations are so high.

00:16:53.649 --> 00:16:54.610
You know they.

00:16:54.610 --> 00:16:56.522
You know people don't want to.

00:16:56.522 --> 00:17:00.279
They don't want to divert their attention from all their little addictions they've got going on.

00:17:00.279 --> 00:17:07.321
You know, whether it's YouTube or Instagram or you know all the things that they need and want.

00:17:07.321 --> 00:17:09.888
You know, and relationships require compromise.

00:17:09.888 --> 00:17:10.652
You know you want to.

00:17:10.652 --> 00:17:12.624
You have to do things that you don't necessarily want to do.

00:17:12.624 --> 00:17:22.262
So as you get older, you get less tolerant about things like that, and so you got to find someone who's willing to put up with that, and then you have to be willing to put up with that too.

00:17:22.884 --> 00:17:36.144
So's it gets a little tougher as you, as we get older and I feel like if you've done your own thing for so long and you've been independent for so long, it's hard to kind of you know, yeah and, and you know, nowadays everybody's working so hard to make it work.

00:17:36.464 --> 00:17:46.653
I mean, things are so expensive and so people are working long hours and they've got two, three jobs sometimes, and so to find the time to go out there and date it's tricky and it really is.

00:17:46.653 --> 00:17:58.345
And so, you know, and people, a lot of people, like I said, because of the housing market, they're staying in these relationships longer, and so there's, you know, in some ways there's fewer opportunities.

00:17:58.345 --> 00:18:02.733
You know potential mates out there sometimes.

00:18:02.733 --> 00:18:05.338
So that's kind of what we're all dealing with.

00:18:05.724 --> 00:18:07.348
So what are your deal breakers in a woman?

00:18:08.972 --> 00:18:27.176
I think that I think if there's, you know, anger issues, I certainly don't like that Somebody who's controlling, you know, because I don't want to be controlled and I mean I'm pretty laid back, I'm pretty relaxed, I put up with a lot, but at the same time, you know, I just don't want to be told what to do.

00:18:27.176 --> 00:18:34.856
You know, I want everybody to compromise and everybody to work on their own issues and and just have fun.

00:18:34.856 --> 00:18:36.648
You know, just try to do things and have fun.

00:18:36.648 --> 00:18:38.875
I like to go shopping, believe it or not, it's kind of odd.

00:18:39.484 --> 00:18:40.788
The women are gonna like that out there.

00:18:40.788 --> 00:18:42.011
Yeah, I love to go shopping.

00:18:42.011 --> 00:18:46.930
It's a magic word in Scottsdale.

00:18:46.950 --> 00:18:57.278
Yeah, I like the beach, I like to travel, um, but you know, mainly I like people who are relaxed, you know, who are not too intense, um, and that's, that's a challenge.

00:18:57.925 --> 00:19:01.413
Now describe your ideal partner personality and physical.

00:19:01.893 --> 00:19:06.369
Uh, I think someone who I exercise a lot, someone who exercises, that's a big deal for me.

00:19:06.369 --> 00:19:19.829
You know someone who is fairly healthy, who eats fairly well, someone who is relatively educated, who can carry on a conversation, those are the main things you know, and you know.

00:19:19.829 --> 00:19:27.265
If they come to me and say you know, I don't want to deal with your kids, I don't want to talk to your kids, I don't want to talk to your kids, I don't want to share attention with children, that's not going to work.

00:19:27.265 --> 00:19:28.932
I know women like that, yeah.

00:19:29.846 --> 00:19:32.292
And your kids are young, you said 17 and 12.

00:19:32.292 --> 00:19:32.974
Oh, 17 and 12.

00:19:32.974 --> 00:19:37.849
Okay, okay, so old enough to sort of take care of themselves for a few hours.

00:19:38.030 --> 00:19:39.251
Oh, they do their own thing.

00:19:39.251 --> 00:19:40.213
They do their own thing.

00:19:40.213 --> 00:19:41.134
The 17 year old is.

00:19:41.134 --> 00:19:45.902
She is a little, she gets a little jealous sometimes, but you know I get it.

00:19:45.902 --> 00:19:56.550
I mean it's a you know, when you're in a divorce situation and you're with each parent halftime, you want to make sure that that halftime you're getting that attention you know, so that's a big deal.

00:19:57.874 --> 00:19:58.997
I was gonna say do you want more kids?

00:19:58.997 --> 00:19:59.936
No, or are you done?

00:19:59.936 --> 00:20:00.397
Done.

00:20:00.417 --> 00:20:02.378
Yeah't, I can't you know.

00:20:02.378 --> 00:20:07.141
It's like you get to a certain age and you don't want to chase kids around exactly change diapers yeah.

00:20:07.161 --> 00:20:12.963
Training, yeah, yeah, I've done enough of that so do you have any crazy first date stories or disaster date stories?

00:20:13.846 --> 00:20:20.746
um, you know, I had somebody who was telling me that that, uh, they were in the, they were a spy, or they were in the.

00:20:20.807 --> 00:20:20.987
CIA?

00:20:20.987 --> 00:20:23.192
Were they a spy?

00:20:23.192 --> 00:20:24.055
Were they in the cia?

00:20:24.536 --> 00:20:26.268
well, and and it sounded believable.

00:20:26.268 --> 00:20:32.794
And then they started talking about they were on the border of north and south korea and and I asked them well, were you in the demilitarized zone?

00:20:32.794 --> 00:20:33.856
And they said what is that?

00:20:33.856 --> 00:20:41.208
So you know, it's like I mean, come on, I mean, if you're going to talk about something, just study a little bit of the history, right?

00:20:41.228 --> 00:20:41.849
at least another fact, yeah, yeah.

00:20:41.849 --> 00:20:42.673
So you know a to talk about something.

00:20:42.673 --> 00:20:44.459
Just study a little bit of the history Right, at least know the facts.

00:20:44.479 --> 00:20:46.105
Yeah, yeah, so you know a little bit about it, I mean you know, fail yeah.

00:20:46.105 --> 00:20:47.709
So that's like I'm out of there.

00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:48.932
Have you been catfished?

00:20:50.174 --> 00:20:51.057
Yeah, yeah.

00:20:52.866 --> 00:20:54.451
Were you on the dating apps for a while.

00:20:54.451 --> 00:20:55.094
Yeah.

00:21:06.664 --> 00:21:07.171
And that you know there's a lot of false stuff.

00:21:07.171 --> 00:21:09.765
I mean, half the advertisements on there are fake and it just gets so annoying because you just don't want to deal with it.

00:21:09.765 --> 00:21:11.496
And there's people out there who are trying to, you know, grab the information from you and then use it against you and that's just really annoying.

00:21:11.516 --> 00:21:14.740
Why don't more people FaceTime before they meet up in person?

00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:16.907
Because there are so many catfishes out there?

00:21:16.907 --> 00:21:17.971
Why don't you FaceTime?

00:21:17.971 --> 00:21:19.775
That would solve everything, right?

00:21:19.775 --> 00:21:20.576
You would think so.

00:21:28.065 --> 00:21:39.297
I would want to be sure that I'm not going to waste my time and meet someone that's you know, yeah, you know, and and what they try to do is is you know, it's like you have to have a whole closet full of these potential dates on your app before you do anything, and so it just gets old because people just you know they're not serious about it.

00:21:39.297 --> 00:21:41.108
You know, so you just you know.

00:21:41.108 --> 00:21:42.212
It's like you don't want to pay attention.

00:21:42.272 --> 00:21:43.876
It is it kind of becomes like a game.

00:21:43.876 --> 00:21:48.794
I feel like like you were talking about, like the addictions to the phone and the social media and stuff.

00:21:48.794 --> 00:21:51.726
I feel like people that spend a lot of time on dating apps.

00:21:51.726 --> 00:21:53.631
It becomes almost like an addiction.

00:21:53.631 --> 00:22:00.851
They're addicted to swiping right, to seeing what's out there, to seeing what's coming next, like the thrill of getting the matches.

00:22:00.851 --> 00:22:01.151
Oh, yeah.

00:22:01.290 --> 00:22:14.085
And things like that, where there's no actual intention to date or to meet somebody, it's just they're addicted to the thrill of seeing what's next or seeing what's out there or whatever.

00:22:14.184 --> 00:22:17.744
Yeah, I mean you can be on a date with someone and you hear that ding going off like constantly.

00:22:18.005 --> 00:22:18.990
Ding, ding ding.

00:22:18.990 --> 00:22:20.727
Oh, so annoying yeah and it's like what am.

00:22:20.727 --> 00:22:22.111
I here, for Should I just go home?

00:22:22.351 --> 00:22:24.035
And it's like what am I here for?

00:22:24.035 --> 00:22:24.676
Should I just go home?

00:22:24.696 --> 00:22:27.805
Yeah, you know, I mean it's just, it gets annoying.

00:22:30.367 --> 00:22:33.744
So do you have any crazy talents or unique facts about yourself that not many people know?

00:22:34.266 --> 00:22:36.949
Um, I uh wow, it's a loaded question.

00:22:36.949 --> 00:22:38.010
Can you sing?

00:22:38.250 --> 00:22:40.954
or yeah, no, I, I mean, I've learned how to cook.

00:22:40.954 --> 00:22:46.082
I I I know how to select a purse, I know what to look for there.

00:22:46.486 --> 00:22:46.990
What's your go-to purse to?

00:22:47.010 --> 00:22:47.070
buy.

00:22:47.092 --> 00:22:48.384
I was just going to say what's your favorite thing to cook.

00:22:48.384 --> 00:22:49.770
You know what's your go-to purse.

00:22:49.826 --> 00:22:51.184
I was just going to say what's your favorite thing to cook.

00:22:51.184 --> 00:22:58.951
So I mean, yeah, so I've learned about that kind of thing.

00:22:58.951 --> 00:23:00.752
I do a lot of shopping, you know.

00:23:00.752 --> 00:23:02.574
I do those kinds of things and I don't mind doing it.

00:23:02.574 --> 00:23:03.255
I kind of like it.

00:23:03.755 --> 00:23:04.155
Yeah.

00:23:04.236 --> 00:23:06.557
Yeah, so it's uh, that's kind of unique, I guess.

00:23:06.837 --> 00:23:08.138
And what is your go-to thing to cook?

00:23:08.778 --> 00:23:10.760
You know grilling stuff like that.

00:23:10.760 --> 00:23:11.981
You know typical guy stuff.

00:23:12.481 --> 00:23:12.722
Wow.

00:23:12.722 --> 00:23:14.203
So he likes to cook, ladies.

00:23:14.203 --> 00:23:16.346
He likes to shop he's a winner right here.

00:23:16.346 --> 00:23:17.327
He likes to bake, yeah.

00:23:17.387 --> 00:23:19.569
Oh yeah, I'm good at baking too, you like to bake buns.

00:23:20.330 --> 00:23:24.154
Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah exactly are you ready for it?

00:23:24.474 --> 00:23:25.455
I'm ready for it.

00:23:25.455 --> 00:23:28.859
The keep more minute sponsored by tactical tax strategies.

00:23:28.859 --> 00:23:30.846
They help you keep more in your wallet.

00:23:30.846 --> 00:23:33.155
We help you keep more in your relationship.

00:23:33.155 --> 00:23:34.821
So we have a listener question.

00:23:34.821 --> 00:23:35.886
Yeah, do you want this one?

00:23:36.169 --> 00:23:38.502
oh, you do this one, I'll do this one after this was the last minute submission.

00:23:38.502 --> 00:23:39.807
Okay, someone from facebook?

00:23:39.886 --> 00:23:40.647
I know, I know.

00:23:40.647 --> 00:23:43.333
That's why I'm like do you want me to do the original one, or should I do the new one?

00:23:43.333 --> 00:23:43.834
We do both.

00:23:43.834 --> 00:23:45.237
Okay, all right.

00:23:45.237 --> 00:23:50.223
This week's question my boyfriend and I have a great relationship, except for one tiny issue.

00:23:50.223 --> 00:23:53.770
He eats all of my fries every single time.

00:23:53.770 --> 00:23:55.864
It doesn't matter if I order my own.

00:23:55.864 --> 00:24:04.884
He still reaches over like some kind of food bandit when bandit.

00:24:04.884 --> 00:24:06.409
When I confront him, he just laughs and says sharing is caring.

00:24:06.409 --> 00:24:08.492
But when I try to take a bite of his food, suddenly it's why didn't you order your own?

00:24:08.492 --> 00:24:09.515
Is this a red flag?

00:24:09.515 --> 00:24:11.137
Am I overreacting?

00:24:11.137 --> 00:24:17.426
Or is this the kind of behavior that leads to bigger betrayals, like stealing the blankets or, worse, watching our favorite show without me?

00:24:17.426 --> 00:24:21.073
Please help before I start ordering extra just to survive.

00:24:23.356 --> 00:24:24.578
I don't know, I don't, I don't.

00:24:25.005 --> 00:24:30.184
I'm not a big fry person, so but if he's, she's dating a taker, not a giver, right?

00:24:30.184 --> 00:24:31.771
I feel like relationships are given, take.

00:24:31.771 --> 00:24:35.574
You can't expect to constantly take from someone and then you're not willing to give.

00:24:36.395 --> 00:24:38.069
It's true, but I feel like that's too deep.

00:24:38.069 --> 00:24:46.027
Like I'm a, I like to share food Right.

00:24:46.027 --> 00:24:50.865
Like when I go to a restaurant with somebody, like like I get annoyed if I'm out with somebody, even if it's like a friend or my or a parent or something like, and we all order the same thing.

00:24:50.865 --> 00:24:57.873
Because I like, like, let's order one of everything so that we can try everything and we'll all share and eat off the same plate.

00:24:58.326 --> 00:25:01.833
I don't think it's as deep as if someone's eating your fries.

00:25:01.833 --> 00:25:15.474
They're not gonna be a giver in the relationship because, like for me, if I'm out to eat I'm like, oh, can I try that off of your plate because I like to eat yeah, I'm all about sharing food too.

00:25:15.536 --> 00:25:18.290
Yeah, I'll show you mine if you show me it's like try the beach.

00:25:18.332 --> 00:25:20.521
Yeah, I mean, at least they're, they're engaging with you.

00:25:20.521 --> 00:25:21.144
Yeah, it's true.

00:25:21.144 --> 00:25:22.207
Yeah, so I think it's.

00:25:22.307 --> 00:25:26.577
I think it's a little bit of a silly thing to worry about.

00:25:26.577 --> 00:25:32.396
So then you know, maybe just have a conversation and be like let's order a community fries.

00:25:32.438 --> 00:25:32.758
Right right.

00:25:32.845 --> 00:25:37.236
And then order a couple other things, so that we can try more than one thing.

00:25:38.444 --> 00:25:41.893
I mean he could be on his phone looking up the calorie counter and saying you shouldn't be eating fries.

00:25:41.893 --> 00:25:44.499
Exactly, I think it could be on his phone, looking up the calorie counter and saying you shouldn't be eating fries.

00:25:44.519 --> 00:25:45.200
Exactly, I think it could be worse.

00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:45.781
Yeah, it could be much worse.

00:25:45.781 --> 00:25:46.983
There could be worse issues to have over sharing meals.

00:25:46.983 --> 00:25:47.125
Agreed.

00:25:47.685 --> 00:25:51.997
So someone from Facebook saw that we had a divorce attorney on today and they have a question.

00:25:51.997 --> 00:25:57.292
Erica, I've been married for 13 years and he's a narcissist and I'm financially dependent.

00:25:57.292 --> 00:26:00.771
What is my best strategy in getting divorced strategy?

00:26:00.791 --> 00:26:01.512
in getting divorced.

00:26:01.512 --> 00:26:08.926
So the law has changed substantially over the past year and now we deal with spousal maintenance.

00:26:08.926 --> 00:26:12.736
We used to get spousal maintenance but we didn't get it as much and it was really hard to get courts to award it.

00:26:12.736 --> 00:26:14.769
And now we have guidelines.

00:26:14.769 --> 00:26:23.834
So you can go on the Maricopagov website, look up spousal maintenance guidelines and plug your numbers right in and you can find out to a rough extent what you're going to get.

00:26:23.834 --> 00:26:27.705
So you know when you divorce that hey, at least I'm going to get this amount.

00:26:27.705 --> 00:26:31.505
So in 13 years you're going to get a decent amount, depending on how much you earn.

00:26:31.505 --> 00:26:32.861
So it's not going to be that bad.

00:26:32.861 --> 00:26:36.305
But yeah, nowadays, I mean, it's so hard to make it out there.

00:26:36.305 --> 00:26:40.202
So I mean, especially if you've got a house, you're going to have to sell the house.

00:26:40.202 --> 00:26:44.660
Then you've got to find a rental and rentals are going to be twice as much as your house payment.

00:26:44.660 --> 00:26:46.222
So yeah, it's tough.

00:26:46.222 --> 00:26:47.746
It's tough in any situation.

00:26:48.346 --> 00:26:51.538
I was in Florida recently and I met this couple at.

00:26:51.538 --> 00:26:56.377
I went out for sushi and I was eating and this couple was sitting next to me at the sushi bar.

00:26:56.377 --> 00:27:08.785
And it was so interesting because I had made a comment about your husband or your wife or whatever, assuming that they were married, right, and then they started telling me no, no, no, we're not married.

00:27:08.785 --> 00:27:22.576
So he his ex-wife was in this high power executive somewhere and when they ended up getting divorced, she paid him spousal maintenance.

00:27:22.576 --> 00:27:29.509
So he was, he's been getting these payments and I think he said he has two years left on them and he's not.

00:27:29.509 --> 00:27:36.728
He's like I am not allowed to be in a marriage-like relationship or my spousal payment stop.

00:27:36.728 --> 00:27:39.118
So they live separately, they.

00:27:39.118 --> 00:27:42.846
They don't live together, they don't get married, none of that.

00:27:42.846 --> 00:27:46.780
But like, he has a great job, he owns a landscaping company, all this that.

00:27:46.780 --> 00:27:55.862
But his ex-wife made substantially more money than him and now he's very happy and he's married again, but they're not married.

00:27:55.862 --> 00:27:58.619
It was so interesting I couldn't believe it.

00:27:58.855 --> 00:28:03.967
I bet the woman paying this money is furious and fuming no he said no.

00:28:04.047 --> 00:28:04.548
He said no.

00:28:04.548 --> 00:28:12.847
He said neither one of them want to take each other back to court because this was they got divorced 10 years ago or something like that.

00:28:12.847 --> 00:28:13.776
And so he goes.

00:28:13.776 --> 00:28:22.410
If we go back to court and they find out how much more she's making now than she was back, then she will owe me more money for the next.

00:28:22.410 --> 00:28:27.775
So they both have their like secrets that they're keeping from the courtroom.

00:28:27.775 --> 00:28:41.037
But I was like I just thought that was so interesting, because you always hear it the other way around, right, you always hear it the the man is having to pay the wife spousal support, but in this, I just thought it was so interesting.

00:28:41.037 --> 00:28:42.279
Yeah, I can work both ways.

00:28:42.361 --> 00:28:45.778
Yeah and but yeah, you can't have too much fun if you've got that maintenance going on.

00:28:45.917 --> 00:28:48.124
Exactly, and that was his point.

00:28:48.124 --> 00:28:49.768
You know we go out of town to travel.

00:28:49.768 --> 00:28:54.163
They were from the Midwest but, like I said, I met them at a sushi restaurant in Florida.

00:28:54.163 --> 00:28:55.078
So it was just like.

00:28:55.078 --> 00:29:01.465
You know, we travel and we don't post pictures online and we each keep our separate addresses.

00:29:01.465 --> 00:29:03.824
You know, I don't have any of my mail sent to his house.

00:29:03.824 --> 00:29:06.079
He doesn't have any of his mail sent to mine.

00:29:06.079 --> 00:29:08.925
Like it was crazy, they sanitized their facebook.

00:29:08.945 --> 00:29:12.923
They sanitized their facebook, for sure really clean it up for sure.

00:29:13.325 --> 00:29:18.182
So this article 10 truly scary divorce facts and I wanted to get your opinion on these.

00:29:18.182 --> 00:29:22.940
So the first one living together before marriage increases your chance of divorce.

00:29:22.940 --> 00:29:27.436
People are getting married later in life now, so they live together before getting married.

00:29:27.436 --> 00:29:30.326
They consider it like a test run to see if they're you know, compatible.

00:29:30.326 --> 00:29:36.468
But in reality, couples who live together before getting married actually are more susceptible to divorce in the long run.

00:29:36.468 --> 00:29:36.970
Is that true?

00:29:36.970 --> 00:29:37.933
I you know?

00:29:37.953 --> 00:29:39.803
I don't know um, that's a good question.

00:29:39.863 --> 00:29:52.784
I would say most people who I deal with, who are going through divorce, did live together at some point because I I feel like, though nowadays, like I don't know if I want to get married with someone that you've never lived with before yeah, that's kind of scary right.

00:29:53.125 --> 00:29:54.516
Oh, yeah, I mean they could be doing things.

00:29:54.536 --> 00:30:07.950
They could you know, somebody could snore really loudly, or or maybe they get up and they have these nightmares and they start running around the I mean you don't know what they're like or if they're really messy and you're really clean, you know yeah, but what statistics don't lie, I guess.

00:30:08.391 --> 00:30:11.298
So the second one the average marriage is shorter than you think.

00:30:11.298 --> 00:30:22.346
The average length is about the eight year mark, because that's long enough to do things like have kids get a house, get through the initial honeymoon phase, but it's also long enough to try to make it work right.

00:30:22.346 --> 00:30:23.952
So does that sound right to you about eight years?

00:30:24.134 --> 00:30:28.164
you know, it sounds actually a little long really I would say here it's probably shorter.

00:30:28.484 --> 00:30:29.027
Yeah, okay.

00:30:30.508 --> 00:30:37.493
I would say, among the more sophisticated populations it's probably a little longer, but here I would guess it's a little shorter than that.

00:30:37.974 --> 00:30:42.762
I just celebrated my eighth year anniversary with my husband so we just got to the eight-year mark.

00:30:42.894 --> 00:30:47.694
Hopefully we can make it past the eight years yeah you've got to be real careful over the next 365 days.

00:30:47.694 --> 00:30:48.419
Right years, you're over the hump.

00:30:48.419 --> 00:30:50.008
Careful over the next 365 days.

00:30:50.028 --> 00:31:04.156
Right, I'm in the danger zone now so first, divorces happen young, as people live longer, healthier lives, the number of people who marry multiple times has increased, though some people do put off getting married until a later day, later age.

00:31:04.156 --> 00:31:07.943
The average age is 30 years old to get married for the first time.

00:31:07.943 --> 00:31:11.250
And then people grow and change in your 20s.

00:31:11.250 --> 00:31:17.882
Once they reach 30, couples often realize that they want different things and so it's time to go their separate ways.

00:31:17.882 --> 00:31:20.221
Someone once made a funny comment to me.

00:31:20.221 --> 00:31:27.644
They were like you know, I'm looking to date someone in their 30s, but I want a Nebraska 30, not a Scottsdale 30.

00:31:27.644 --> 00:31:30.902
Nebraska 30, they've been married, they've been divorced, they have kids.

00:31:30.902 --> 00:31:35.720
A Scottsdale 30-year-old guy doesn't even know how to cook a chicken, and it's kind of true.

00:31:35.720 --> 00:31:41.402
Like a Scottsdale 30 is different than like a Midwest 30, don't you think For sure, as somebody who grew up in the Midwest.

00:31:41.863 --> 00:31:42.664
Yeah, is it different?

00:31:42.664 --> 00:31:43.106
Oh, yeah.

00:31:44.335 --> 00:31:47.721
So happily married parents equal happy marriages.

00:31:47.721 --> 00:31:53.109
If your parents were happily married, statistically speaking, your likelihood of divorce drops.

00:31:53.109 --> 00:32:00.269
Watching a successful marriage not only shows you firsthand that it's possible, but also provides a roadmap to making things work.

00:32:00.269 --> 00:32:01.819
Is that true, do you think?

00:32:02.135 --> 00:32:03.579
I mean, I would think so.

00:32:03.579 --> 00:32:10.319
But you know, we're so different now and we've got, like I said, we've got so many addictions, we've got so many distractions.

00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:14.258
You know people, especially guys, get on their phones and they're they're on their phones 24 seven.00:32:14.258 --> 00:32:17.507


They're in Tik TOK there and they're watching reels there.00:32:17.507 --> 00:32:19.298


You know they're watching videos.00:32:19.298 --> 00:32:28.843


I mean they're just so much to do and that you know it drags your attention away from your spouse and so then they you know the spouse gets jealous of the phone.00:32:29.785 --> 00:32:36.105


But yeah, there are so many different things going on that but I feel like back in the olden days, when something was broken, you fixed it.00:32:36.105 --> 00:32:39.378


You took the time to fix the marriage or to get past it.00:32:39.378 --> 00:32:43.698


Nowadays I feel people just like throw it in the trash and want the next new shiny toy.00:32:43.798 --> 00:32:48.086


Oh yeah, cause I mean, I mean, the thing is they, they have access to that list of potential mates.00:32:48.086 --> 00:32:49.709


It's sitting there all the time.00:32:49.709 --> 00:32:57.723


And there are people that they went to high school with or college with that they always wanted to be with, and suddenly they look on their phone and oh wow, they're available now.00:32:57.723 --> 00:33:02.125


And so the second something goes wrong they're out there, they're out of it.00:33:02.184 --> 00:33:02.707


That is true.00:33:02.707 --> 00:33:12.304


It's the real people that are available, not just these imaginary people on social media and on dating apps, but they do.00:33:12.304 --> 00:33:13.428


They see the real people that they knew or know.00:33:13.448 --> 00:33:24.824


Yeah, my husband made a comment that when he get got divorced he changed his profile pictures obviously, and then he had so many of his women from his childhood reach out to him right away to hey, how's it going?00:33:24.864 --> 00:33:27.818


I can tell you're single now that's a problem.00:33:28.180 --> 00:33:31.126


Yeah, so parents aren't the only ones at risk.00:33:31.126 --> 00:33:32.961


Children are susceptible to depression.00:33:32.961 --> 00:33:34.200


Oh sorry, I missed one.00:33:34.200 --> 00:33:35.901


Health risks after divorce.00:33:35.901 --> 00:33:41.865


A bad marriage is detrimental to mental health, but divorce also comes with an array of physical health concerns.00:33:41.865 --> 00:33:47.340


After divorce, men have an elevated risk of hypertension, heart disease, even cancer.00:33:47.340 --> 00:33:51.864


Depression, substance abuse and obesity often spike after a marriage ends.00:33:51.864 --> 00:33:55.477


Some studies show that men are more likely to commit suicide following a divorce.00:33:55.738 --> 00:33:56.961


Is that true Health concerns.00:33:56.961 --> 00:34:11.949


You know I think it could go both ways, because you know, I know for myself you tend to get lazy in a marriage sometimes and especially if you're not happy, you tend to just not work out as much, you don't exercise as much and you're not out there competing for attention.00:34:11.949 --> 00:34:24.724


But when you're a single person, and especially in a town like Scottsdale where the sun's shining and you know people are in the bars and they're looking, you've got to be in shape, you got to work out, and so you tend to get healthier sometimes.00:34:25.063 --> 00:34:26.326


I have heard that too.00:34:26.326 --> 00:34:51.461


They say I've read or seen reels that say if you want to know whose fault the breakup was, look at which one stays stagnant and which one has the glow up, Because likely the one who has the glow up is the one whose fault it was not, Because they're the ones that have shed their stress and their weight and all of that.00:34:52.434 --> 00:34:55.018


And they want the revenge body, and they want the revenge body.00:34:55.018 --> 00:34:56.621


Oh yeah, we see a lot of that.00:34:56.822 --> 00:34:57.445


Exactly.00:34:57.465 --> 00:34:58.286


We see a lot of that.00:34:58.306 --> 00:35:00.675


Exactly, so I think it can be both.00:35:00.675 --> 00:35:07.043


I think a lot of people get change for the better and healthier after a breakup or after a divorce.00:35:07.262 --> 00:35:08.025


Yeah, that makes sense.00:35:08.025 --> 00:35:09.996


So parents aren't the only ones at risk.00:35:09.996 --> 00:35:15.338


Children are susceptible to depression and other mental health issues, which often manifest physically.00:35:15.338 --> 00:35:22.045


One study found that children living with both parents tend to be much healthier physically than those hailing from broken homes.00:35:22.045 --> 00:35:32.559


I wanted to ask you about this because I sat next to a divorce attorney on a flight to san diego and she was saying it's better for the kids to not be in a marriage when the parents don't get along, it's better for them to divorce.00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:33.483


Is that true?00:35:33.483 --> 00:35:38.143


Because we posted that clip on social media and I got a lot of hate from people saying that's not true.00:35:38.143 --> 00:35:41.219


Of course the divorce attorney is going to say that because they want the business.00:35:41.219 --> 00:35:46.822


That's like going to a car salesman and he's telling you that you don't need a new car him telling you you don't need a new car.00:35:46.822 --> 00:35:47.443


So is that true?00:35:48.224 --> 00:36:09.782


I'll tell you, when you see some of the fighting that I've seen, some of the anger that is displayed openly in front of a 6 or 7-year-old, the screaming, you know, the alienation, the people enmeshing themselves with a kid, where they're having adult conversations with a child about the other parent and how the other parent is not acting appropriately.00:36:09.782 --> 00:36:17.197


It is abusive and it's dangerous, it's destructive and that child grows up thinking that's normal, so you can't.00:36:17.197 --> 00:36:23.300


So in those situations it's not good for these people to stay together and for a kid to see that, to grow up with that.00:36:23.300 --> 00:36:36.668


It's just your heart breaks because you see it and you see the kids saying you know, daddy or mommy, please stop, please stop yelling at daddy, please stop yelling at mommy, you know and you hear it and it's so abusive, you know, and so that's.00:36:36.668 --> 00:36:38.489


Those are situations that have to end.00:36:41.675 --> 00:36:51.894


The kid cannot continue to be exposed to that, and I think that's the most important thing to remember is that those children will grow up thinking that that kind of love is normal or like that.00:36:51.894 --> 00:37:05.519


That kind of relationship, like that's what love means and it's it's not, and then it can you, and then they get into the same type of relationship and then it just goes down, or they, you know they want a spouse who's abusive.00:37:05.539 --> 00:37:08.326


They expect to be abused by their spouse.00:37:08.786 --> 00:37:15.697


They expect to be yelled at, to be screamed at, to be dictated to, and so they pick another person like that and then they have another destructive.00:37:15.697 --> 00:37:16.639


You know marriage.00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:18.224


So I think there's.00:37:18.224 --> 00:37:31.978


There are marriages where there's just no way that they should continue to exist and then sometimes people just stay in them because either they're financially dependent or you know the narcissist situation where they think that they have to stay in it.00:37:31.978 --> 00:37:41.842


You know there's nothing else out there, and those two situations there needs to be a divorce you know, but then there's other people that you know they fight over really stupid things.00:37:42.403 --> 00:37:45.996


You know, I remember somebody and this was going back about 20 years.00:37:45.996 --> 00:37:50.155


You know we used to to mexico and get these big bottles of vanilla.00:37:50.155 --> 00:38:06.016


They used to come in these big bottles and then, and then you go to grocery store and there's a little bottle of vanilla and I remember somebody coming in and I remember they had two sets of twins and the guy just went crazy because the wife was making cookies and using the little bottle of vanilla and that was just.00:38:06.016 --> 00:38:06.978


That was over the top for him.00:38:06.978 --> 00:38:09.181


So he's like okay, I'm out of here, I gotta get a divorce.00:38:09.181 --> 00:38:11.945


So I mean wow.00:38:12.005 --> 00:38:15.516


So I mean, I see some really dumb reasons for divorce too.00:38:15.677 --> 00:38:23.159


Or you know, there, there's, there's uh, people get in one fight, or they, you know they're not getting everything they need.00:38:23.159 --> 00:38:33.737


They didn't take that extra vacation during the summer, they didn't get the louis vuitton for christmas, you know, and it's like, okay, well, my friend got one, and so I'm out of here so that you see that too, especially in scottsdale wow, do you see that?00:38:33.878 --> 00:38:36.746


oh, yeah, yeah my friend got a louis and I didn't.00:38:36.826 --> 00:38:38.250


I'm out of here, peace out.00:38:38.534 --> 00:38:40.217


I'm gonna find a guy that's gonna buy me a louis.00:38:40.438 --> 00:38:45.545


Yeah, I didn't get the new christmas I didn't get the new bag that came with it, the you know, because it has to go in the bag too.00:38:45.545 --> 00:38:49.010


It's like, if you didn't, then what did you get this off of Facebook marketplace?00:38:49.010 --> 00:38:50.135


Oh my gosh, you know.00:38:50.135 --> 00:38:52.559


So we see that too, and I mean, that's pretty bad.00:38:53.202 --> 00:38:53.764


That's crazy.00:38:53.804 --> 00:38:55.280


Yeah, so people are pretty spoiled.00:38:56.175 --> 00:38:59.481


So the next one I found very interesting Women file for most divorces.00:38:59.481 --> 00:39:11.117


70% of divorces are filed by women, and when both are educated, that jumps up to 90 percent.00:39:11.117 --> 00:39:11.518


Right, that's true.00:39:11.518 --> 00:39:11.900


Oh yeah, crazy, yeah.00:39:11.900 --> 00:39:17.242


Some argue it's for custody reasons, but others say it's due to society expectations that women are expected to work like they have no children and parent like they have no job.00:39:17.282 --> 00:39:32.384


They're the women are expected to do everything remember birthdays, do the shopping, cooking, cleaning and work yeah, yeah, it's a, you know, women going through divorce I mean, nowadays it's a little better because the change in spousal maintenance, but they're, they're typically going to come up on the lower end of it.00:39:32.384 --> 00:39:44.617


You know they're gonna, you know, cause typically they didn't get their career started or the the husband is further into his career, he's making more money, you know, and so the husband is going to come out generally better.00:39:44.617 --> 00:39:47.963


You know women, women have a tough time in divorce.00:39:48.164 --> 00:39:51.097


Well, and they say, like the phrase, you know, it's cheaper to keep her.00:39:51.097 --> 00:39:57.083


So it's like I think most men probably do feel that way Like the divorce is going to cost me so much money.00:39:57.083 --> 00:40:01.356


So I know we need a divorce, but I'm just going to wait until she files, Right?00:40:01.356 --> 00:40:01.817


You know what I?00:40:01.856 --> 00:40:05.320


mean, and a lot of them don't want to deal with the emotional impact of it.00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:06.521


Yes, you know they just don't want to.00:40:06.521 --> 00:40:17.422


They they know, they they want a divorce so they kind of check out emotionally but they don't want to file and and incur that wrath yeah, you know so so another couple, last ones.00:40:18.065 --> 00:40:25.989


According to one study, if one spouse smokes and the other doesn't, the couple is 75 to 91 percent likelier to get divorced.00:40:26.570 --> 00:40:31.101


Interesting, that's high numbers, right but smoking is a deal breaker for a lot of people.00:40:31.101 --> 00:40:45.266


And I think some people overlook like we talked about red flags like a lot of people will overlook deal breakers and say, oh, it's okay, I'll get them to quit eventually, and then or it could be addictions, could be drug addiction, it could be.00:40:45.626 --> 00:40:47.639


You know, addictions are very common nowadays.00:40:47.639 --> 00:40:50.885


I mean mean whether it's a behavioral substance, alcohol.00:40:50.885 --> 00:40:51.867


I mean it's.00:40:51.867 --> 00:40:52.307


It's.00:40:52.307 --> 00:40:57.697


It's one of the most common sources of friction in a relationship and smoking is an addiction.00:40:57.938 --> 00:41:01.045


Yeah, big weddings equal big divorce rates.00:41:01.045 --> 00:41:06.869


Research shows that couples who have huge, elaborate, expensive weddings are at greater risk for divorce.00:41:06.869 --> 00:41:12.179


I have a friend that spent I think her dad spent over $60,000 on the wedding and they didn't even last a year.00:41:12.179 --> 00:41:13.282


I'd be pissed.00:41:13.514 --> 00:41:14.579


I would be so mad.00:41:15.101 --> 00:41:16.445


Yeah, that would be nuts.00:41:16.835 --> 00:41:20.666


You're still paying it off after your divorce, my dad, I'd never hear the end of it.00:41:21.228 --> 00:41:22.494


Oh my God, I can imagine.00:41:22.494 --> 00:41:24.976


I can hear my dad's voice in my head right now, or?00:41:24.996 --> 00:41:28.559


they take the wife's credit card and the husband goes out and buys the ring with the wife's credit card.00:41:29.079 --> 00:41:29.559


Wow.00:41:29.619 --> 00:41:34.844


Yeah, I'll pay on it, but they're in a divorce situation a year later, oh my gosh, that sucks.00:41:35.344 --> 00:41:44.231


You may want to move closer to work, because a recent study has found that people with longer commutes commutes 45 minutes or longer are at a much higher risk of divorce.00:41:44.231 --> 00:41:46.213


Isn't that kind of crazy?00:41:46.213 --> 00:41:53.219


Is it because they're spending less time at home together?00:41:53.219 --> 00:41:55.447


It's hard to work on your relationship stuck in your car, on a bus or in a subway for half of the day.00:41:55.447 --> 00:41:55.967


I don't know about that.00:41:55.987 --> 00:41:56.690


I know that just seems very odd.00:41:56.690 --> 00:41:57.795


I think that would be common in a place like LA.00:41:57.795 --> 00:42:03.362


Yeah, maybe you know where.00:42:03.422 --> 00:42:08.251


You're stuck in traffic a lot and then you know, after an hour made dinner and he's not home.00:42:08.271 --> 00:42:11.858


Yeah, here I don't think we don't have that problem as much.00:42:12.199 --> 00:42:15.195


So this wasn't on the list, but I found this stat that I thought was very interesting.00:42:15.195 --> 00:42:23.003


56% of marriages end in divorce and if you look at the remaining, one third of those people are absolutely miserable.00:42:23.003 --> 00:42:28.961


One third say, eh, it's what it is, I'm too lazy to get divorced, and only one third say that they would do it again.00:42:28.961 --> 00:42:31.166


So it's a 15% success rate.00:42:31.166 --> 00:42:37.641


So the article states if you were to go into a surgery and the surgeon said you have 50% chance of a success rate, would you do the surgery?00:42:37.641 --> 00:42:41.489


15%, one, five, yeah, wow, wow.00:42:41.855 --> 00:42:43.657


That is not good, right, it's not good I.00:42:43.657 --> 00:42:46.382


That's not good yeah, I think you want to bury that statistic.00:42:46.382 --> 00:42:49.168


That is not encouraging at all.00:42:49.728 --> 00:42:50.489


Anyways, that's it.00:42:50.489 --> 00:42:53.487


Those are the 10 truly scary divorce facts.00:42:53.547 --> 00:42:54.028


Wow.00:42:54.411 --> 00:42:55.494


That's crazy, that is nuts, I mean.00:42:55.516 --> 00:42:57.922


I'm not surprised, but it's yeah.00:42:58.344 --> 00:42:59.186


Yeah, that's not good.00:42:59.436 --> 00:43:02.114


Now it's time for the celebrity cut, where we talk about the celebrities.00:43:02.416 --> 00:43:10.719


So I saw the title, prince William is now choosing to use Princess Diana's divorce attorney and my heart sank.00:43:10.719 --> 00:43:14.563


I was like, oh, kay Middleton and Prince William are getting divorced.00:43:14.563 --> 00:43:17.096


But no, they're not, don't worry, they're just.00:43:17.096 --> 00:43:21.226


He's choosing to use the lawyers that aren't affiliated with the royal family.00:43:21.226 --> 00:43:32.637


So I guess the royal family always use the same attorneys and he's venturing out and he's like I'm going to be a big boy now I'm going to choose my own lawyers.00:43:32.637 --> 00:43:34.623


But would you need a divorce attorney if you're not planning on getting divorced?00:43:34.623 --> 00:43:35.969


Well, I think he probably practices other law as well.00:43:35.969 --> 00:43:46.746


It was just the lawyer that represented diana in her divorce I would be a little concerned about that right because most divorce attorneys practice other typically no, I didn't, so I wonder if they are getting divorced and they're just.00:43:46.766 --> 00:43:47.956


They don't want to release it just yet.00:43:47.956 --> 00:43:49.139


That that makes me scared.00:43:49.260 --> 00:43:51.085


Yeah, that's not good, because I love Kate Middleton.00:43:51.085 --> 00:43:52.007


Yeah, she's, she's good.00:43:52.047 --> 00:43:54.394


Yeah, it'd be like going back to the doctor thing.00:43:54.394 --> 00:43:57.023


It'd be like going to a cardiologist for your.00:43:57.576 --> 00:44:05.483


Now you're making me think Something for a for a knee replacement, Like I'll have to keep my, eye on it.00:44:05.483 --> 00:44:07.987


So what is your favorite place to go on a first date in town?00:44:09.389 --> 00:44:12.112


You know, I like Le Grand Orange.00:44:12.333 --> 00:44:14.440


Oh, I love that place yeah that's a fun place.00:44:15.795 --> 00:44:18.846


And then there's another place owned by the same company.00:44:18.846 --> 00:44:21.101


I forget the name of it, but it's right down the street.00:44:21.101 --> 00:44:22.385


That's a really nice place.00:44:22.385 --> 00:44:23.617


I mean, sushi is great.00:44:23.617 --> 00:44:25.298


Chelsea's Kitchen, chelsea's Kitchen, yeah.00:44:25.318 --> 00:44:26.681


That Chelsea's Kitchen yeah, that's a fun place.00:44:26.681 --> 00:44:27.282


I like Chelsea's Kitchen.00:44:27.282 --> 00:44:27.862


That's a fun place.00:44:27.862 --> 00:44:29.666


Their patio with all the green.00:44:29.726 --> 00:44:35.443


Yes, I went on a brunch date there once years ago and that was a great place for a date.00:44:35.485 --> 00:44:35.929


The drinks are great.00:44:35.929 --> 00:44:39.481


They're sangria oh yeah they're amazing, yeah, and their tuna burger.00:44:39.481 --> 00:44:39.985


Oh, my God.00:44:40.045 --> 00:44:40.889


Jackpot yeah.00:44:41.016 --> 00:44:42.101


Yeah, that's really good.00:44:42.101 --> 00:44:53.989


How do you know if you're meeting someone for the first time, especially if it's you know, if it's somebody off the one of these sites?00:44:54.590 --> 00:44:55.170


that's what we were saying.00:44:55.190 --> 00:45:07.525


You know and you've got a whole list of them, you know, and it's like you don't want to sit there with someone and go out to eat with them if you're not too serious about it and so it's good to have a coffee date to kind of get a feeling of yeah, get the feeling of the relationship.00:45:07.585 --> 00:45:08.367


Or ice cream.00:45:08.367 --> 00:45:08.949


I like Zoya.00:45:08.949 --> 00:45:11.059


I like Zoya for ice cream.00:45:11.059 --> 00:45:11.902


Have you ever been?00:45:12.382 --> 00:45:13.204


I haven't been to that.00:45:13.204 --> 00:45:14.166


I like Sweet Republic.00:45:14.295 --> 00:45:20.757


It's okay, okay, yeah, no, I like Zoya because it's frozen yogurt and they have all the different toppings to go on top.00:45:20.916 --> 00:45:21.918


That's a good idea, yeah.00:45:21.998 --> 00:45:35.722


Yeah, and then you can get to like I I shouldn't say I judge people based on the toppings that they put on their ice cream, but like what if you get like weird toppings that don't go together.00:45:35.922 --> 00:45:42.059


You see their toppings and you just leave, yeah peace, but I think I would.00:45:42.059 --> 00:45:49.260


I think I would, I'd be like, um, I'm sorry, but those toppings don't go with that flavor of ice cream, or if they don't put any toppings on it at all, just vanilla.00:45:49.260 --> 00:45:50.804


Yeah, you're boring Peace out.00:45:50.804 --> 00:45:52.288


Yeah, I'm out of here.00:45:52.327 --> 00:45:52.688


Exactly.00:45:52.688 --> 00:45:57.306


I feel like it could be a good test to someone's personality Interesting.00:45:57.505 --> 00:46:01.724


I've never heard of that Now it's time for the juiciest segment of the show the meat grab.00:46:09.835 --> 00:46:12.541


Are you down for the challenge, up for the grab, willing to share?00:46:12.541 --> 00:46:13.041


Pick one, if you dare.00:46:13.041 --> 00:46:13.302


Pick a card.00:46:13.302 --> 00:46:14.043


Some questions are innocent.00:46:14.063 --> 00:46:14.724


Some are not so innocent.00:46:14.724 --> 00:46:15.306


Pick at your own risk.00:46:15.306 --> 00:46:16.568


Hopefully it's not vanilla, like the classic vanilla beaners.00:46:16.588 --> 00:46:17.831


Choose a movie title that best describes your sex life.00:46:17.831 --> 00:46:20.034


Wow, oh, a movie title that best describes your sex life.00:46:21.559 --> 00:46:23.063


Huh, I don't know.00:46:25.505 --> 00:46:29.422


That's a tough one Current sex life or sex life at its prime?00:46:29.422 --> 00:46:31.228


Yeah, I think it's sex life at its prime yeah.00:46:31.815 --> 00:46:35.255


I don't know about that one Huh Movie.00:46:35.255 --> 00:46:36.300


Title of the best sex life.00:46:36.974 --> 00:46:38.159


Yeah, I'm drawing a blank on that.00:46:38.159 --> 00:46:39.204


Do you have any?00:46:41.215 --> 00:46:43.119


That's a weird one that is hard on the spot.00:46:43.119 --> 00:46:43.862


You can pick another one.00:46:43.862 --> 00:46:44.844


Let's pick another one.00:46:45.726 --> 00:46:45.907


I know.00:46:46.114 --> 00:46:48.983


I'm trying to think of one like lone ranger right now.00:46:49.184 --> 00:46:51.661


What have you always wanted to try in the bedroom?00:46:52.083 --> 00:46:52.425


what is it?00:46:52.847 --> 00:46:54.394


what have you always wanted to try in the bedroom?00:46:56.625 --> 00:47:04.804


um huh, wow didn't know you were gonna get these types of questions.00:47:04.824 --> 00:47:05.505


yeah, these are tough.00:47:05.505 --> 00:47:09.570


They are tough, yeah, uh-huh.00:47:10.695 --> 00:47:11.978


Maybe have you tried it all.00:47:12.641 --> 00:47:13.302


Yeah, exactly.00:47:13.322 --> 00:47:13.784


I've tried it all.00:47:13.784 --> 00:47:15.960


Yeah, there's nothing new he needs to try.00:47:15.981 --> 00:47:18.838


Yeah, yeah, We've asked that question.00:47:18.838 --> 00:47:21.927


Let's see, draw again.00:47:21.927 --> 00:47:25.284


What's the biggest age difference you've ever had with a partner?00:47:26.275 --> 00:47:27.481


Probably 10 years.00:47:28.615 --> 00:47:29.478


And you were older.00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:30.382


Yeah, they were younger.00:47:30.583 --> 00:47:30.724


Yeah.00:47:30.724 --> 00:47:31.958


Do you have a preference?00:47:31.958 --> 00:47:33.300


Do you like dating younger?00:47:33.300 --> 00:47:34.583


No, it doesn't really matter.00:47:34.583 --> 00:47:34.684


Yeah.00:47:36.355 --> 00:47:37.197


I mean it just depends.00:47:37.197 --> 00:47:45.206


I mean I just want somebody who kind of takes care of themselves, somebody who's interested in fitness, somebody who, you know, who just is not.00:47:45.206 --> 00:47:48.643


I mean people nowadays, especially people that have three or four jobs.00:47:48.643 --> 00:47:58.112


They, a lot of people, are just physically falling apart and they don't take care of themselves and they're just overworked and they're stressed and they're emotionally, you know, unavailable.00:47:58.112 --> 00:48:03.766


And you know, and I hate to be, you know, pick on people like that.00:48:03.806 --> 00:48:11.041


You know I'm fortunate that I have this job where I can kind of, you know, participate, kind of just stay there and and and not not work as hard.00:48:11.041 --> 00:48:19.275


You know I'm not on a ladder or anything, okay, I'm not washing dishes, I'm not working in a restaurant, I'm not doing things that are just taking every ounce of energy out of me.00:48:19.275 --> 00:48:32.750


I'm doing something that, you know, I kind of use my brain to some extent a little bit and, um, you know I just keep people, you know, moving forward and so I can I have enough time to stay healthy and do things like that.00:48:32.750 --> 00:48:36.543


Some people don't, and you know it's just it's one of those things.00:48:36.682 --> 00:48:37.606


Yeah, lifestyle.00:48:37.606 --> 00:48:39.858


What body part turns you on the most and why?00:48:44.688 --> 00:48:47.052


It's the brain, the, what the brain the brain.00:48:47.271 --> 00:48:48.635


Yeah, smart answer.00:48:48.936 --> 00:48:51.425


You thought you were going to get a real sexy answer.00:48:51.976 --> 00:48:57.958


I'm not trying so hard to spice it up, yeah yeah, I'm not going to go for that, I was like not satisfied with these bananas, I've been doing these.00:48:58.117 --> 00:48:59.121


I'm doing this for too long.00:48:59.275 --> 00:49:00.621


We got to get the juice out.00:49:00.621 --> 00:49:05.885


Yeah Well, thank you so much, steve.00:49:05.885 --> 00:49:12.730


If you want to go out on a date with steve, send us a dm at meat market podcast or go to our website, the meat market podcastcom.00:49:12.730 --> 00:49:16.371


And thank you so much to our amazing sponsor, tactical tax strategies.00:49:16.371 --> 00:49:23.304


If you want to preserve your wealth this tax season and keep more in your wallet, you have to go to tactical tax strategies.00:49:23.304 --> 00:49:26.119


Thanks so much and we'll see you next week at the meat market.00:49:26.119 --> 00:49:30.271


Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.00:49:30.333 --> 00:49:37.407


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture, so I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:49:37.407 --> 00:49:39.539


His wife just reached out to me.