Love Bombing, Blue Eyes, and Saying "No, Bro"

WEBVTT

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Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

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So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

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His wife just reached out to me.

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Welcome to the meat market.

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The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Lindsay, I'm Jess and today's sizzling single is Sam.

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Welcome.

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Thank you for having me.

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So you had made the comment that you ended not only a relationship but an entire engagement because of your gut intuition.

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Tell us about that.

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Yeah, so over time I've really developed my intuition and that was like the main time in my life where I figured out how to do that.

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I it's really hard to distinguish between anxiety and fear and my gut, and I know that a lot of people feel that same way.

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But at this point I figured out that my gut is like it's like a little tug in my stomach that always tells me no, and I use that for any situation.

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At this point.

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I'm apartment hunting right now and there's one that's right above me that is like ideal, perfect.

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But when I think about it I get that little tug and that's it telling me like no, that's not it.

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And so sometimes it kind of defies logic and evidence, but I know that's how tuned in I am at this point is it's just?

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I know it's a no.

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So do you remember that you know him?

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You went on a motorcycle ride with him.

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There was a guy that was very good looking, very successful, smart, and he was pursuing me and I just had that gut intuition telling me no, ron, so I didn't go there.

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And then he turned out to be freaking psycho crazy, like out of control.

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I think we chatted about this and it's funny.

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It's always so interesting to me to see women posting in these like Facebook groups.

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You know, like the, are we dating the same guy?

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Like, like something in my gut tells me it's off, but like I need proof.

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It's like why do we need proof?

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As women Like, if something doesn't feel right, we should trust our guts more.

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Because it's like, if it's not right with you, it probably isn't going to be right, and then it's like the proof is likely just going to cause more hurt.

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So it's like cut it off, walk away.

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Trust your gut always.

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I think there's a huge lesson in that.

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And I haven't listened to it before and kind of dove right into a relationship that I should not have and that turned out to be crazy.

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I've done the same thing, yeah, cause we try to override it, cause we're like we want this to work, we want to, you know, but yeah, it never turns out well.

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In my case it was a friend had set us up and I said to her I was like I just it.

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Like you know, this happened and this happened and it just doesn't feel right.

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And she was like no, no, no, he's a great guy.

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Like I promise you, he was just nervous and we've talked about this on the show before.

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Like if I would have just trusted my gut from the first date.

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I would have saved myself years like years of my life.

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You know it's crazy, do you guys?

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believe that, when it's the right person, that you won't feel hesitation or that you won't be overthinking it.

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I think so.

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When I met my husband, I didn't overthink anything and I didn't stress about anything.

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I never stressed about when to text him, what to text him, didn't think about if I say this, is he going to judge me?

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If I ask this, is he going to judge me?

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It just came so naturally and so easily.

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I tend to not stress about that stuff anyway, you're lucky.

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I wouldn't know what that's like.

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But, yeah, I do think that women's intuition is always right and you should definitely listen to it.

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Yeah, agreed.

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So you also made the comment that you absolutely do not want kids, and that's a deal breaker.

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So tell us about that.

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Yeah about that, yeah, I'm.

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I mean, I'm 33 and I just never have felt that biological urge to have kids or, I guess, the maternal instinct.

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I have a dog and he's my everything and I love being mom to him.

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But I just, no matter what relationship people are like, you're gonna meet a guy and he's gonna change your mind and I don't know if that's a good thing if I change my mind just because of a person, because then what happens if something happens to that relationship?

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But I've just I've never wanted them.

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Do you like kids Like?

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Do you like being around kids?

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Do you have nieces and nephews?

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I have nieces and nephews and I love them and I love being around them.

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But I get overstimulated kind of easily and I think that's one of the reasons that I don't is because I like, I like my quiet, I like my alone time.

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And you don't really get that when you like to be able to give the kids back to their parents at the end of the night.

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Like not that you don't want them to come home with you, basically but like, and maybe once they get older, um, then it's it's easier to spend time with them, but at least the younger kids I it's it's harder for me, yeah so question have you ever dated a guy that you didn't feel something negative in your gut, that you were super happy with and you thought that it was going to end in marriage?

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Yes, but that didn't last very long, because then my gut finally came in.

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So maybe not, yeah.

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So I'm wondering if it is fear and anxiety of I don't know commitment or no, no, because I think every relationship that I've had has put me in the place that I need to be, like the one that I had last year.

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That I've talked to you guys about before.

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That it turned out was really crazy.

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It ended up getting me my own apartment in this, where I've talked to you guys about before.

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That it turned out was really crazy.

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It ended up getting me my own apartment in this and where I've developed my own community, and it's really been amazing.

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So good things have come from listening to my gut, even though at the time it's been really crappy and uncomfortable and doesn't feel good everything does happen for a reason.

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I'm a firm believer in that at the time it might suck, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that it's going to work out for the better in the long run and you're going to look back and say thank god it happened just as it did yeah, and you need to figure out like what the relationship was meant to talk, to teach you, yeah, right, like what was the lesson supposed to be in the relationship, even though it didn't work out and that one that I'm talking about is boundaries, because I didn't have strong enough boundaries, and so it really taught me how and I'm a people pleaser too.

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So having to get over my people pleasing and then having to establish strong boundaries too, you got some good quotes.

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I love your one that you said I was blinded by the blue eyes.

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He had really pretty blue eyes a narcissist right yeah, so you kind of overlooked that red flag because you were blinded by the blue eyes.

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So tell us about him well, he was really good at convincing me how crazy he was about me and I kind of fell into that because and I hate saying this, but he was.

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He is really good looking and I I hadn't dated someone who looked exactly like him before.

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I'm not trying to insult anybody, I've dated in the past but he was just all for me and that felt really good, because the last relationship I was in it didn't feel like he was all for me.

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As much as I tried to make it that way or like ask, like please can I have, like I need more from you, I need more emotional availability, that kind of thing, and I wasn't getting it it.

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So when I started getting that from this guy, I was like oh well, like this is what it's supposed to be like.

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And then it turns out it was not it was not right love bombing yeah yeah, and I I mean.

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You hear about love bombing, you hear about gaslighting and manipulation, and I'd never experienced it before and in moment I didn't realize I was experiencing it either.

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And looking back now I'm like, oh my God, how did I let myself go through that for the months that I did?

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But again, kind of with what the gut instinct thing is you're hopeful that you can get through it or that it's just that, it's just fear, that it's whatever.

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But in this case it was my my gut was right.

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So what are some of the things that he would do?

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Like did he say I love you really early?

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Was it gifts?

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Was it like acts of service for the love?

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Yeah.

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What did it look like for you?

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Yeah, he was.

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I mean telling me he was crazy about me wanting to spend a bunch of time with me, wanting to, yeah, just be around me all the time and very complimentary, making me feel good, that kind of thing.

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So it was more about action and the words that he was saying yeah such a red flag.

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I've been with guys that do that and it never lasts, yeah and I feel like love bombing looks different from different people, depending on what, what either, and I don't know if it's their love language or if it's what they think that your love language is.

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And so if he felt like, oh, she really needs words of affirmation, the words of affirmation work, it's like then, then that's all it is.

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They're hooks.

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Yes, yeah, like I have a friend who she's been in a relationship like that too, but he gave her like a car and he gave her gifts and trips to Europe and that kind of thing, which which got her in.

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You know, yeah, yeah, wouldn't do that for me, though so there's another Sam quote that I love.

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You're like.

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I really like meeting people in the wild, so are you?

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not on the dating apps.

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I'm not on the dating apps I was.

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I've not on the dating apps.

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I'm not on the dating apps I was.

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I've been on and off of them.

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I'm not right now.

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I think that it's easier for me to get a feel for people's energy in person, and the dating apps are so hard, Like it.

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It does not feel like many men make an effort at all to have good conversation and part of's like why are you even on here if you're not gonna talk?

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you know, um, and I get more nervous going on a date with someone that I haven't met before.

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So, yeah, it's nicer to when you actually meet them in person and then you get a feel for them right away do you have any dating disaster stories or have you been catfished?

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I have.

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Um, I wasn't catfished, but I went on a date once and he took me to this like decrepit amusement park.

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Wow, that's kind of creepy here in town, no this was in Colorado.

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Okay, Uh, and we didn't go on any rides, we just sat at a table and he, he, just, he was just really weird and he told me his favorite kind of music was aggressive Dutch music.

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I was like, what is aggressive Dutch music?

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And and you know, I'm sure you guys have been on dates before where you're like I need to leave.

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Like I need to get out of here.

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So I was trying to think of any excuse that I could to get out and I was like I'm so sorry, I have to leave.

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I have to meet my friends for Starbucks, which wasn't true, but I legitimately just drove to a Starbucks afterwards in case he like saw where I was going.

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But it was, it was just, it was icky.

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Yeah, did he put on wooden shoes and do some clogging?

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I wouldn't have been surprised if he did do that, but like what the heck's aggressive Dutch music I know?

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right, I'm going to look that up now.

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That's what I think of, like the Tulip Festival back in my hometown, when they all put on the wooden shoes and like broom the streets and do their clogging in the middle of the street.

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But what makes it aggressive?

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And that's what I'm like imagining the music in my head and I just can't imagine such like a jovial, you know tradition no being aggressive because they're such nice people.

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I have many.

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Dutch friends, and they're so nice.

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I know how could they be aggressive?

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maybe it's like EDM or house music or something like that.

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I don't know, but it's not for me, so tell us about you.

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So what are your hobbies?

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What do you do in your free time?

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what do I do my well, I mentioned, I have a dog, so I spend a lot of time with him.

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We have a daily tradition of going to dog park every day.

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Yeah, and it's.

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It's fun because it's always with the same people.

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Um, a lot of them are in their seventies and eighties, so I feel like really comfortable just hanging out with all of them.

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I love hiking, which is so great in Arizona, and I grew up in Colorado too, so I get to do that a lot.

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Um, I love horseback riding, I love singing.

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Uh, the last two I really need to do more of, because there are certain things, you know, that bring you joy in life and I I don't do enough of those two things.

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Singing what's your go-to karaoke song?

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We always ask this question.

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That is a great question Um.

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Do you karaoke?

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I haven't karaoke in years, okay, but you do but you will.

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Yeah, the last one that I sang was who's better of your boots been under by shania twain?

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Oh, yeah, that's a good one that's a good one, that's a crowd pleaser I feel like, yeah, any shania, any shania, that is true where do you go to karaoke in town?

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if you go to karaoke, I've never been in arizona you've never been in arizona no, there's some Arizona, you haven't.

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No, oh, there's some good places Great Vine and Ernie's.

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Have you been to karaoke at?

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Ernie's up north Is that Scottsdale?

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And Shea, uh-huh, I have.

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Oh, that's so close to me.

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Yeah, okay, yeah.

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There's a couple really good karaoke spots.

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Okay, are you good?

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Are you a good singer?

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I think I used to be a good singer.

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I grew up doing choir and a of acapella, so much um, but I haven't sang in a long time.

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My mom would say yes yeah my mom always wants me, she's your biggest fan yeah, but not so much anymore yeah, so what are your deal breakers?

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what are my deal breakers?

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Um, I mean, unfortunately, a man who wants to have more kids.

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I don't have a problem with a man that has kids already.

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Necessarily, I would say someone who has a lot of drama with their ex that they are still involved in or that they still talk about.

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Oh, this is a good date.

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It's not a disaster story, but kind of.

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I went on a date when I was living in Montana with this guy who I asked.

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One of the first things I asked him was like how are you today?

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He went into a really long spiel about how much he hates his ex-wife and how he wishes she would fall off a cliff.

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Wow, that is bad, oh my gosh Like starting off the date like that first of all, but then also telling me that I'm like ooh, that's kind of like an automatic no for me dog, you know Wow.

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So someone who's negative um, and someone who doesn't have emotional depth or emotional awareness to like I, I need I connect with someone immediately on an emotional level.

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That's how I, how it is for me, so I can't do the superficial, small talk.

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Speaking of wishing your ex-wife would fall off a cliff.

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Did you hear about that?

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That doctor that tried to push his wife off a cliff in Hawaii by asking her to take a selfie on the edge of a cliff.

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And she was too scared to because she didn't like heights, so she was uncomfortable, so she wouldn't do it.

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So then he got a rock and started smashing her skull in.

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No what.

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And she was like crawling away and so he got an injection out and was going to inject her with something and luckily, two witnesses or passerbyers like walked past and she like screamed for help and now he's arrested.

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But crazy was this recently?

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It was recently, it was in the news this week.

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Yeah, that happened in colorado too, in rocky mountain national park, but she actually fell and died, and so there's a whole documentary about it, called wild crime, about like crimes that happen in the wilderness, and one of them is about that is she was taking a photo of herself.

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Oh my God, he pushed her off.

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That's terrifying If anyone ever mentions pushing their ex off of a cliff on a date like I am running for the hills.

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Like that's scary this lady.

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She survived.

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So karma.

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He's in jail and she's living her best life.

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Good for her, though she's probably scarred forever so are you looking to get married again or get?

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married, get married.

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I think so.

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A lot of people that I meet nowadays are like there's no point in getting married, like because you can be committed the same way, and that's true, but I think that part of it is is me wanting someone to want me enough to marry, if that makes sense, because in the past I've not felt marriable, or by by people that I've been with.

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Now that that sounds sad to say.

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I'm not trying to be.

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Woe is me.

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But yes, I do want to get married eventually.

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Yeah, and then um, let's see, do you have any crazy talents or unique facts about yourself that not many people know?

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Um you can sing?

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I can sing, I guess.

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Yeah, I don't really tell many people that I can sing, so that is probably something of a surprise to even my close friends.

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Now, just because I don't do it very often.

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So probably singing I can't think of anything else off the top of my head right now.

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That would be like super impressive.

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Do you have a type like what's the, what's the type of guy that you're looking for?

00:16:15.186 --> 00:16:18.351
Physical or like personality characteristics?

00:16:18.371 --> 00:16:19.894
funny athletic.

00:16:19.894 --> 00:16:23.903
Uh, I think an important thing is is that people like him?

00:16:23.903 --> 00:16:47.969
I don't like I don't know if that's thought about as much, but that not necessarily that he has a lot of friends, but that he's liked by everyone like general, like's a general good character, someone who's kind and, I would say, athletic for sure, has a work ethic, ambitious, caring and wants to take care of people in his life and close to his family.

00:16:48.315 --> 00:16:50.740
That's kind of a deal breaker too, is I really?

00:16:50.740 --> 00:16:55.900
Well, maybe not a deal breaker, but I want someone that is close to their family and wants to be close to mine too.

00:16:56.965 --> 00:16:59.696
You know I love about you is you're so naturally beautiful, like.

00:16:59.696 --> 00:17:02.283
You have beautiful hair, you're hardly wearing any makeup.

00:17:02.283 --> 00:17:04.355
You seem so real and down to earth.

00:17:04.355 --> 00:17:06.521
You're just like real, authentic, good people.

00:17:06.521 --> 00:17:08.626
Thank you, I appreciate that.

00:17:09.595 --> 00:17:10.376
Are you ready for it?

00:17:10.376 --> 00:17:11.519
I'm ready for it.

00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:14.867
The Keep More Minute brought to you by Tactical Tax Strategies.

00:17:14.867 --> 00:17:16.701
They help you keep more in your wallet.

00:17:16.701 --> 00:17:19.243
We help you keep more in your relationship.

00:17:19.243 --> 00:17:23.144
We've got a listener question this week.

00:17:23.144 --> 00:17:32.605
It says I've been dating this guy for three months and he's amazing, kind, funny and even texts back at a reasonable speed.

00:17:32.605 --> 00:17:37.345
But there's one issue he insists on calling me bro.

00:17:37.345 --> 00:17:43.803
At first I thought it was a joke, but now bro has kind of replaced my actual name.

00:17:43.803 --> 00:17:45.066
Good morning, bro.

00:17:45.066 --> 00:17:45.567
I miss you.

00:17:45.567 --> 00:17:45.788
Bro.

00:17:45.788 --> 00:17:46.960
You're so beautiful bro.

00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:52.123
Last night he leaned in for a kiss and whispered you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

00:17:52.123 --> 00:17:55.816
Bro, am I dating my best friend or a gym buddy?

00:17:55.816 --> 00:18:01.596
Should I say something or just accept the fact that I'm in a romantic relationship with my bro?

00:18:01.596 --> 00:18:03.821
Sincerely not your bro.

00:18:04.502 --> 00:18:07.568
I was yeah, no, I would say something right away like why are you?

00:18:07.568 --> 00:18:16.935
I've been called dude before and I'm like no, like that's not okay yeah, yeah, do you guys think that we like that, like what's going on.

00:18:18.138 --> 00:18:20.022
I think it's partly, I don't know.

00:18:20.022 --> 00:18:21.285
Is it like generational?

00:18:21.586 --> 00:18:23.818
it probably like I wonder how old these people are.

00:18:23.898 --> 00:18:25.487
I know like if they're in their 20s.

00:18:25.487 --> 00:18:28.038
I feel like, yeah, that's because my kids call me bruh.

00:18:28.038 --> 00:18:28.700
What's a bruh?

00:18:28.700 --> 00:18:29.041
That's what.

00:18:29.082 --> 00:18:32.516
I'm saying like it's like the, the lingo that the kids are using.

00:18:32.536 --> 00:18:34.303
Well, and like, as millennials, we we go hell.

00:18:34.303 --> 00:18:38.325
Yeah, brother, like I say that, but I'm not saying that to my significant other.

00:18:38.325 --> 00:18:40.940
Yeah Men, we don't want to be called bro.

00:18:41.883 --> 00:18:42.384
Not at this age.

00:18:42.384 --> 00:18:50.707
I mean, if you cringe at the thought of being at the altar with him and he's like I do, bro, I love you bro.

00:18:50.727 --> 00:18:57.940
Oh my God, imagine, can you imagine he writes it in his vows?

00:18:57.940 --> 00:19:00.986
He's like I, so, and so take you, my bro to be my lawfully wedded wife, lawfully wedded bro.

00:19:01.006 --> 00:19:01.887
Lawfully wedded bro.

00:19:01.887 --> 00:19:03.442
I'm surprised she hasn't said something yet.

00:19:03.563 --> 00:19:08.885
I know she hasn't I think she has to have a conversation with him and ask him to retire the term bro.

00:19:08.905 --> 00:19:09.930
Hopefully he's not like.

00:19:10.191 --> 00:19:13.601
You got it, bro, you got it communication is hard for people, though.

00:19:13.780 --> 00:19:25.174
like, but it like, if you can't speak up about that, how are you going to be able to speak up about actual yeah Well, not that that's not actually important, but like the really like hard things.

00:19:25.174 --> 00:19:28.318
Like, how are you going to be able to speak up about that if you can't even talk about?

00:19:28.961 --> 00:19:50.569
nicknames and I feel, if he cannot change that one tiny little thing for her and just eliminate that word for her then they're probably gonna have more issues communication really is the most important foundational thing that you can have in a relationship oh, absolutely, yeah, for sure if you don't feel comfortable talking to your significant other about something even small, then that's probably not a good sign and it's good to communicate.

00:19:50.750 --> 00:19:59.782
At the moment, you're feeling something like I'm so bad at letting it boil up because I'm not confrontational at all and I don't say anything that I don't, and then, like I just let it explode.

00:19:59.983 --> 00:20:11.269
I'm like that, like if they're not emptying the dishwasher or cleaning their dishes out of the sink, I'm like silently boiling until I either like do it myself or just like say something to them.

00:20:11.269 --> 00:20:13.181
But it's stupid little things like that.

00:20:13.241 --> 00:20:15.137
It's funny just like say something to them.

00:20:15.137 --> 00:20:16.261
But it's stupid little things like that.

00:20:16.261 --> 00:20:16.482
It's funny.

00:20:16.482 --> 00:20:20.377
So now we're gonna read an article or discuss an article the reasons why many modern women don't want want children.

00:20:20.377 --> 00:20:22.765
I thought this would be fitting because you're not alone.

00:20:22.765 --> 00:20:30.375
So it's funny because before I had kids, I really wanted kids and I couldn't understand the mentality of people not wanting kids.

00:20:30.375 --> 00:20:32.259
I'm like how boring would life be without kids.

00:20:32.259 --> 00:20:36.886
Now that I have kids, I can completely understand why people don't want kids.

00:20:36.906 --> 00:20:42.144
And I work in pediatrics, I work in developmental peds, so I work with kids that have special needs and I love.

00:20:42.144 --> 00:20:44.417
That's why I asked you earlier do you like children?

00:20:44.417 --> 00:20:46.803
Because I love children.

00:20:46.803 --> 00:20:48.406
I work with them every day.

00:20:48.406 --> 00:20:50.778
I love my nieces and nephews, but I am the same way.

00:20:50.778 --> 00:20:53.384
I never have felt a super strong.

00:20:53.384 --> 00:21:00.410
I always said I would have kids for the right person if I met the right person, and I would do that.

00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:02.436
But it wasn't ever something I never felt.

00:21:02.436 --> 00:21:05.104
The way that you felt Like I remember before you had kids.

00:21:05.104 --> 00:21:08.880
It's all you ever wanted, Like it's all you ever wanted.

00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:10.984
It's all you ever talked about?

00:21:11.125 --> 00:21:14.281
Yeah, it's just so funny because I feel that is very true.

00:21:14.281 --> 00:21:16.238
Like some women just have that.

00:21:16.238 --> 00:21:29.141
Like I just have always wanted to be a mother and even though I feel, like you know, working with kids, I do feel maternal and I feel drawn to kids and I and I love working with children, but same way.

00:21:29.221 --> 00:21:30.503
Do you still feel that way?

00:21:30.503 --> 00:21:30.605
Yeah?

00:21:30.684 --> 00:21:31.948
Yeah, I just.

00:21:31.948 --> 00:21:36.307
It's never been a super strong urge for me to have kids of my own Right.

00:21:36.307 --> 00:21:40.505
I feel like there's so many other kids that can do better with me.

00:21:40.505 --> 00:21:41.867
I do, yeah, yeah.

00:21:42.454 --> 00:21:46.446
So let's find out the reasons why more and more women are not wanting kids.

00:21:46.446 --> 00:21:46.915
So did you know?

00:21:46.915 --> 00:21:51.867
In 2023, the US fertility rate reached the lowest number on record.

00:21:51.867 --> 00:21:56.386
So the reasons we are expected to give up our freedom and identity.

00:21:56.386 --> 00:21:58.663
So once you have kids, it's not about you anymore.

00:21:58.663 --> 00:22:12.423
Your old self flies out the window, it's all about the kids, and women really are expected to be the primary caregiver and they're still expected to work as well nowadays and to raise kids and work that's like physically, mentally, emotionally exhausting.

00:22:12.423 --> 00:22:21.320
Mothers are expected to be constantly with their kids and are made to feel guilty for wanting to have an identity and time outside of motherhood.

00:22:21.320 --> 00:22:23.066
Which leads me to my next point.

00:22:23.654 --> 00:22:25.221
Mothers are judged harshly.

00:22:25.221 --> 00:22:27.561
Have you seen the mom shaming on Facebook?

00:22:27.561 --> 00:22:28.905
No, it's out of control.

00:22:28.905 --> 00:22:38.428
Like I've seen pictures that people post of their kids and people will zoom in and spot things like there's a packet of Doritos there that will give your kids cancer.

00:22:38.428 --> 00:22:40.115
Or there's a Coke over there.

00:22:40.115 --> 00:22:41.459
Why are you feeding your kids soda?

00:22:41.459 --> 00:22:42.501
Do you know how much sugar it is?

00:22:42.501 --> 00:22:43.384
It's out of control.

00:22:43.384 --> 00:22:45.840
Mom-shaming is crazy.

00:22:46.805 --> 00:22:47.426
Women are judged.

00:22:47.426 --> 00:22:53.942
If they travel without their kids, if they go to happy hour without their kids, they're looked at as being selfish for doing anything without their kids.

00:22:53.942 --> 00:22:56.125
Women are judged if they don't breastfeed.

00:22:56.125 --> 00:22:56.826
This happened to me.

00:22:56.826 --> 00:22:58.349
I tried so hard to breastfeed.

00:22:58.349 --> 00:23:08.566
I wanted to, but my daughter was tongue-tied and by the time we corrected it my milk had dried up and I went on medication to create the milk and I went to classes and I just couldn't.

00:23:08.566 --> 00:23:19.144
I tried, I couldn't and I posted a picture, I think, and I happened to be bottle my kid and someone went off on me and called me a bad mother and I literally cried over it because it's not like I wanted to.

00:23:19.265 --> 00:23:26.006
You know, anyways, there's so much pressure on mothers Pressure to be the perfect mother, to know what you're doing, and there's no handbook.

00:23:26.006 --> 00:23:27.201
Every child is different.

00:23:27.201 --> 00:23:28.701
No one knows what they're doing.

00:23:28.701 --> 00:23:35.857
Pressure to breastfeed and be a full-time mother and go to work.

00:23:35.857 --> 00:23:39.304
Mothers are made to feel guilty again if they go out, do anything with themselves, and it's true.

00:23:39.304 --> 00:23:41.748
Mom guilt have you heard of mom guilt?

00:23:41.748 --> 00:23:42.489
It's a real thing.

00:23:42.489 --> 00:23:44.741
Do you ever hear of dad guilt?

00:23:44.741 --> 00:23:49.605
You never hear of dad guilt, do you no?

00:23:49.644 --> 00:23:49.924
not really.

00:23:49.944 --> 00:23:57.442
No, it's just not a thing, it's not a thing Like why aren't men made to feel guilty if they go out or they travel without their kids, or they go to the gym without their kids?

00:23:57.844 --> 00:23:58.666
That's a great question.

00:23:59.635 --> 00:24:04.463
Mothers are expected to do everything themselves and they're still scared to ask for help.

00:24:04.463 --> 00:24:07.703
It really does take a village to raise kids, I feel.

00:24:07.703 --> 00:24:12.719
I mean, my husband traveled when I had two under two and my first one was colic, so I wasn't sleeping.

00:24:12.719 --> 00:24:24.869
By the time she fell asleep, my eldest one would wake up and I'd have to play with her and I remember just breaking down in tears because I wasn't sleeping and then my mom it takes a village was like come on over, you sleep, I'll take care of the kids.

00:24:24.869 --> 00:24:27.412
I feel like you need help sometimes.

00:24:27.934 --> 00:24:29.897
You do, and you shouldn't feel bad for asking for help.

00:24:29.897 --> 00:24:31.900
No, and I think kids should be off limits too.

00:24:31.900 --> 00:24:38.890
Like I'm from the school of, like I don't think that people should talk online poorly about kids.

00:24:38.890 --> 00:24:39.871
I don't think that.

00:24:39.871 --> 00:25:05.836
Like, I feel like if you have issues with someone, like attacking them as a mother or bringing their kids up, or or even like I just feel like it's so sensitive that, like kids I don't know someone's parenting style and the way that they parent their kids and their kids like I just always feel like it should be off limits because it is so much pressure on moms to be it is yeah, and you never know what's happening in their personal lives.

00:25:05.856 --> 00:25:08.146
Like you said, your, your child was tongue-tied.

00:25:08.146 --> 00:25:16.204
Like no one in the public knows that yeah they just see what happens from the outside, and so they're being judgmental without no having any information, it's true.

00:25:16.244 --> 00:25:19.836
You don't know the story, you don't know what's really going on and what their struggles are.

00:25:19.836 --> 00:25:22.782
Society is not child friendly.

00:25:22.782 --> 00:25:26.398
Society makes it very difficult for people to have children.

00:25:26.398 --> 00:25:28.669
Number one because it's so bloody expensive.

00:25:28.669 --> 00:25:36.909
I mean, if you look at diapers and wipes and health care and cribs and strollers, my husband and I all the time talk about how rich we would be.

00:25:36.909 --> 00:25:38.582
We would be driving Lamborghinis.

00:25:38.634 --> 00:25:39.619
We'd be rolling in the low.

00:25:40.415 --> 00:25:41.500
It's crazy expensive.

00:25:41.500 --> 00:25:45.145
And then child care, preschool it's so expensive.

00:25:45.145 --> 00:25:49.606
Also, companies now are still inflexible about the work-parent balance.

00:25:49.606 --> 00:25:51.542
It's still really difficult to balance that.

00:25:51.542 --> 00:25:58.665
Many women are still told that the sole purpose of being a woman is to be a mother and have kids, like jennifer anderson.

00:25:58.665 --> 00:26:01.038
How much flack did she get because she doesn't have kids?

00:26:01.038 --> 00:26:02.501
It's, it's unfair.

00:26:02.561 --> 00:26:11.138
If someone doesn't have one kid, that doesn't want kids I'm told I'm selfish for not wanting to have kids, which doesn't make sense to me like it's like.

00:26:11.138 --> 00:26:16.590
Isn't it a good thing that I'm not like bringing someone into the world that I would be, that I wouldn't want?

00:26:16.590 --> 00:26:18.662
Yeah, Like so how is it selfish?

00:26:18.662 --> 00:26:21.722
It's smart and you're responsible.

00:26:21.722 --> 00:26:22.084
Yeah.

00:26:22.685 --> 00:26:28.367
Yeah, because I know people that have had kids and they're terrible mothers and they shouldn't have had kids, but they probably felt pressured to have kids.

00:26:28.367 --> 00:26:35.384
And another thing that kind of makes me angry is people like Jennifer Anifer aniston are kind of looked down upon, condemned people.

00:26:35.384 --> 00:26:35.805
Pity her.

00:26:35.805 --> 00:26:37.567
What about leonardo dicaprio?

00:26:37.567 --> 00:26:40.097
Do people ever make him feel guilty for not having kids?

00:26:40.137 --> 00:26:42.001
no, he's dating 23 year old models.

00:26:42.001 --> 00:26:45.458
Yeah, his age cut off is 26 years old, right, isn't it like?

00:26:45.458 --> 00:26:52.380
Once they turn 26, those are his kids, those are his kids, the mom he's dating plenty of kids he's fine, that's funny.

00:26:55.355 --> 00:26:58.746
Women's bodies go through so much change and it's not always positive.

00:26:58.746 --> 00:27:01.242
Morning sickness when you're actually pregnant.

00:27:01.242 --> 00:27:03.021
Some women love being pregnant and embrace it.

00:27:03.021 --> 00:27:04.842
Some people don't have such a good experience.

00:27:04.842 --> 00:27:10.364
Did you read about that woman that had such severe morning sickness that she unalived herself?

00:27:10.364 --> 00:27:11.665
Did you hear about that?

00:27:11.665 --> 00:27:12.267
What?

00:27:12.307 --> 00:27:14.210
Yeah, that's sad, she couldn't deal with it.

00:27:15.134 --> 00:27:21.367
It was so bad that she yeah decided to take her own doctor didn't help, like maybe I don't know um.

00:27:21.367 --> 00:27:22.819
And then obviously your body changes.

00:27:22.819 --> 00:27:26.777
You know your boobs get saggy, your tummy gets jiggly and some women embrace it.

00:27:26.777 --> 00:27:29.007
You know I love my body because I got my kids from it.

00:27:29.007 --> 00:27:34.221
But other women, they, don't embrace it as much and every woman's different, so some just don't enjoy that part of it.

00:27:34.260 --> 00:27:43.836
The moms of the mommy makeovers for their I'm sure that their relationship with their husbands change too, either for the better or for the worse you know what that's not in here, but that's a great one.

00:27:43.856 --> 00:27:49.015
Your marriage it takes a toll on your marriage it really does um, let me see in the.

00:27:49.015 --> 00:27:55.465
The last one, which I think is definitely one of the most important, is the world is a scary place and people just don't want to bring kids into it.

00:27:55.465 --> 00:27:57.048
That's my brother and his wife.

00:27:57.048 --> 00:27:58.457
That's the reason they don't want kids.

00:27:58.537 --> 00:28:02.223
That's my biggest reason actually is like I just don't.

00:28:02.223 --> 00:28:11.499
I don't feel like we as a human race are leaving the world in a good place for the next generations.

00:28:11.779 --> 00:28:19.751
Like you think of not only climate change but like the political climate and how women's rights are slowly being taken away and we're kind of regressing and going back.

00:28:19.751 --> 00:28:23.647
And then you look at all the illnesses and people are just shitty.

00:28:23.647 --> 00:28:25.834
People are crappy, people are shitty.

00:28:26.275 --> 00:28:28.987
Like, like, it's like I've.

00:28:28.987 --> 00:28:39.010
I feel like at this point, like maybe one out of every ten people I meet are like genuinely good people, like I don't know.

00:28:39.010 --> 00:28:41.173
I just don't feel like people are good.

00:28:41.484 --> 00:28:47.493
There's a family that goes to one of the parks that I take my dog to and their kid is probably like six or something.

00:28:47.493 --> 00:28:54.607
He's yelled at me about my dog before he walked past this guy who was walking his dog and said move out of the way, old man.

00:28:54.607 --> 00:28:57.934
And like they've called the police on our dogs before.

00:28:57.934 --> 00:29:05.277
And it's just the parents I've talked to and they seem miserable and they're bringing that on to their son too.

00:29:05.277 --> 00:29:12.295
So the son is being raised to talk to like not his elders but just people in general in a rude way.

00:29:12.295 --> 00:29:14.192
Essentially, yeah, his elders.

00:29:15.346 --> 00:29:19.277
There's no respect for the older generations anymore.

00:29:20.285 --> 00:29:26.752
I'm like you look like you're six years old Like how are you already at this point where you're just hating people?

00:29:26.752 --> 00:29:27.786
Yeah, yeah.

00:29:28.328 --> 00:29:31.594
So the last one on here is fear of having a child with the wrong man.

00:29:31.594 --> 00:29:36.490
Oh, you don't want to get married to some guy who's not going to help out or who's going to leave.

00:29:36.490 --> 00:29:40.248
You know, being a single mother, I can't imagine how difficult that would be.

00:29:40.248 --> 00:29:42.471
Um, and not helping out.

00:29:42.471 --> 00:29:50.991
I, my husband, worked with a guy who had kids and he was telling us how it's not his place to change diapers or to get up in the night to tend to the baby.

00:29:50.991 --> 00:29:52.675
So he didn't help and guess what?

00:29:52.675 --> 00:29:54.248
He made his wife work full-time.

00:29:54.248 --> 00:29:56.494
I did not like that did he work full-time too?

00:29:56.634 --> 00:29:59.046
he did yeah, wow, are they still together?

00:29:59.689 --> 00:30:00.751
um, they are still together.

00:30:00.893 --> 00:30:23.457
Yeah, I don't know how she puts up with that my sister just had her third baby and my oldest nephew turned three, so she has three under three and we unfortunately had to travel back home to Iowa last week and she brought the one month old with her and she left the other two the three year old and the 18 month old home alone with my brother-in-law for the first time ever.

00:30:23.457 --> 00:30:28.454
She'd never traveled by herself without the kids before and it was.

00:30:28.454 --> 00:30:35.958
It was so funny he would, we would FaceTime and, like the first night, crying yes, it was so funny the first night.

00:30:36.157 --> 00:30:42.405
He's laying on his back on the floor and the 18 month old is just like like standing on him, jumping on him.

00:30:42.405 --> 00:30:47.917
The three-year-old is in, like this like circus, this like play circus tent that they have.

00:30:47.917 --> 00:30:56.770
He's like you know Maxie's Circus Show and he's like opening the door and screaming out and the little one's just jumping on top of him and he's laying there on the floor.

00:30:56.770 --> 00:31:01.016
My sister is like I mean good luck, honey.

00:31:01.016 --> 00:31:05.175
Like there's soup in the freezer.

00:31:07.625 --> 00:31:08.450
Let's go get martinis.

00:31:08.450 --> 00:31:13.192
So one thing that my sister actually made a good point.

00:31:13.192 --> 00:31:24.653
She's like you know, the real gold diggers in life are men that expect women to not only take care of the house and the kids and to cook and to clean, but also expect them to work full time.

00:31:24.894 --> 00:31:25.656
It's kind of true right.

00:31:25.656 --> 00:31:26.789
Those are the real gold diggers.

00:31:26.789 --> 00:31:35.192
Being a mom's a full time job is what it seems like, and to be expected to work full-time in addition to that, I can't even imagine I know.

00:31:35.424 --> 00:31:36.810
And how do you fit time to go to the gym?

00:31:36.810 --> 00:31:38.471
They say go to the gym, be healthy, be active.

00:31:38.471 --> 00:31:44.856
How do you fit time to do laundry and housework and cooking, meal prepping, working, raising the kids and going to the gym?

00:31:44.856 --> 00:31:46.417
You can't, you don't and enjoy.

00:31:46.417 --> 00:31:48.999
Enjoy your own time, peace to yourself.

00:31:48.999 --> 00:31:51.941
Do you get time to yourself, like when the kids go to bed?

00:31:51.941 --> 00:31:57.587
But it's the struggle because I'm so tired and I want to go to sleep, but I'm like I only have, you know, an hour to myself.

00:31:57.587 --> 00:31:59.432
Do I watch a show, do I read or do I just sleep?

00:31:59.432 --> 00:32:00.736
But that's like the only time.

00:32:00.796 --> 00:32:03.410
It's such a small window what about time with your husband too?

00:32:03.410 --> 00:32:07.637
You know you have to make time for it, so luckily we have my parents in town.

00:32:07.637 --> 00:32:09.347
Okay, you know they'll look after the kids.

00:32:09.347 --> 00:32:12.635
For us to do date night or to whip to press, get for a night.

00:32:12.635 --> 00:32:15.074
I feel like that is key in making a marriage with kids.

00:32:15.134 --> 00:32:23.990
Work is you really do have to carve time and you have to have help, like you have to either have like a babysitter that you super trust or you have to have family close.

00:32:23.990 --> 00:32:24.912
You do have to.

00:32:24.912 --> 00:32:29.507
It's as a as a husband and wife, like as a team, as a two-person team.

00:32:30.288 --> 00:32:40.115
To do all of it yourselves is really hard and because you do always put the kids needs first, so it really you should sit down with your husband, be like okay, what are our needs?

00:32:40.115 --> 00:32:41.669
What do we need, you know?

00:32:41.849 --> 00:32:56.099
it's one of the reasons my parents moved to Montana, because that's where my sister lives with her two kids and her husband, and they've got her, her husband's parents there that live two minutes away, and then my parents live 10 minutes away from them, so they have all the grandparents that can help them out.

00:32:56.099 --> 00:32:57.064
So that's really nice.

00:32:57.084 --> 00:33:04.846
They have their village so now we are going to discuss the celebrity cut where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities.

00:33:04.846 --> 00:33:09.077
So I've got to talk about Bachelor Nation juice, because I used to be on the Bachelor.

00:33:09.077 --> 00:33:11.413
I was on the Bachelor many, many moons ago.

00:33:11.565 --> 00:33:12.448
I'm one of the OGs.

00:33:12.489 --> 00:33:15.510
Yeah, ben Flanick, it's from the olden days.

00:33:15.510 --> 00:33:17.170
I watched Ben's season.

00:33:17.190 --> 00:33:18.267
Did you yeah the most?

00:33:18.267 --> 00:33:21.904
Oh, I shouldn't maybe say this unpopular, like he was so boring.

00:33:22.045 --> 00:33:23.007
He was really boring.

00:33:23.047 --> 00:33:25.631
I was going to say the most boring bachelor in Bachelor.

00:33:25.711 --> 00:33:26.393
Nation.

00:33:26.772 --> 00:33:27.795
Statistically he was.

00:33:27.795 --> 00:33:30.098
The finale was in Switzerland, right?

00:33:30.098 --> 00:33:31.911
Sorry, the finale was in Switzerland.

00:33:32.112 --> 00:33:33.247
Yeah, which I was pissed.

00:33:33.247 --> 00:33:35.354
I didn't make it to the finale because I was born in Switzerland.

00:33:35.354 --> 00:33:36.276
How far did you get?

00:33:36.525 --> 00:33:42.186
My mom was born in Switzerland, where she lived in Cremonton.

00:33:42.186 --> 00:33:46.413
Oh, really, I was born in Bern, bern, okay, is that the French-speaking part?

00:33:47.534 --> 00:33:49.497
I think it's the German-speaking part.

00:33:49.497 --> 00:33:55.128
I'm actually not sure she's French-speaking part, oh okay, yeah, that's cool, anyway, so did you hear.

00:33:55.128 --> 00:33:56.692
So you know, ari and Lauren.

00:33:56.772 --> 00:33:58.738
Yeah, they actually live in town, they live here, right yeah, really.

00:34:10.965 --> 00:34:12.130
So he picked Becca and then they had twins.

00:34:12.130 --> 00:34:16.871
Okay, and then he's older than her I think he's in his 40s now so they have the twins and he's like snip, snip, snip, I'm done, we're not having any more kids.

00:34:16.871 --> 00:34:19.239
And she's like wait, hold on, I'm not done yet.

00:34:19.239 --> 00:34:24.471
So they recently decided that they were going to try for another, so he reversed the vasectomy and they're pregnant again.

00:34:24.490 --> 00:34:25.452
I saw that news.

00:34:25.452 --> 00:34:26.855
Yeah, that's crazy.

00:34:26.855 --> 00:34:28.177
I didn't know they were here in Arizona.

00:34:28.177 --> 00:34:29.938
Yeah, nice, that's crazy.

00:34:29.958 --> 00:34:30.599
Like four kids.

00:34:30.599 --> 00:34:31.728
I don't know if I could do four.

00:34:31.728 --> 00:34:33.213
That's a lot.

00:34:33.213 --> 00:34:34.965
You know who else is here is Clayton.

00:34:35.847 --> 00:34:36.887
Yes, I heard he's here.

00:34:36.887 --> 00:34:37.507
Have you met him?

00:34:37.507 --> 00:34:40.009
No, no, I don't.

00:34:40.009 --> 00:34:47.673
I think it's just weird to be in such close proximity to people whose drama we watched unfold on TV.

00:34:47.673 --> 00:34:49.074
You know, right, he had a lot.

00:34:49.074 --> 00:34:50.775
On his season too, did he have drama?

00:34:50.775 --> 00:34:57.659
And after, too, he had, like there was a girl who was claiming that she was pregnant with his kid.

00:34:57.659 --> 00:35:00.302
Oh my gosh, no, it was like really bad drama.

00:35:00.302 --> 00:35:02.722
He was in lawsuit for a really long time about it.

00:35:02.722 --> 00:35:04.248
Was it his?

00:35:04.248 --> 00:35:05.331
No, I don't think she was even pregnant.

00:35:05.331 --> 00:35:09.585
It was one of those things, oh my god even being pregnant.

00:35:09.626 --> 00:35:14.579
She wasn't even pregnant.

00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:17.827
So the other batch in the news is did you hear about Sean Lowe and his dog?

00:35:17.827 --> 00:35:23.088
You know Sean Lowe and Catherine, yeah, and he proposed to her and they're still together with, I think, three kids.

00:35:23.088 --> 00:35:25.594
I love them, they're so wonderful, aren't they?

00:35:25.614 --> 00:35:26.155
they're such good.

00:35:26.155 --> 00:35:29.570
They're so natural with one another, just like so funny.

00:35:29.570 --> 00:35:30.572
They're back and forth.

00:35:30.652 --> 00:35:31.695
It's good I adore them.

00:35:31.695 --> 00:35:36.050
Yeah, and so he rescued a dog moose, I think two months ago.

00:35:36.050 --> 00:35:45.925
It was a boxer and they were grilling outside and the smoke set off the fire alarm and the dog just attacked him and like ripped open his arm and he needed stitches.

00:35:45.925 --> 00:35:56.916
The next day the dog attacked him again so he like had to hold the dog down until the police got there and he was like didn't want to let go because he didn't want the dog to keep attacking.

00:35:56.916 --> 00:36:01.536
Anyways, he finally let him go and again he attacked his other arm and needed stitches there.

00:36:01.536 --> 00:36:05.007
But he didn't want the dog to be put down, so he gave him to his trainer.

00:36:05.007 --> 00:36:08.175
Wow so, but obviously he has kids.00:36:08.235 --> 00:36:10.829


He couldn't keep the dog but yeah, that was crazy.00:36:10.849 --> 00:36:15.387


That's so sad and a boxer I didn't know are boxers violent dogs or aggressive dogs?00:36:15.746 --> 00:36:17.110


I feel like not much about.00:36:17.110 --> 00:36:18.735


Yeah, I've never heard much about boxers.00:36:18.735 --> 00:36:21.306


My big dog is a boxer mix.00:36:21.306 --> 00:36:24.773


They're they're always so like goofy.00:36:24.773 --> 00:36:31.452


Yeah, like I feel like boxers are more like goofy than they are he probably had some sort of trauma, if he was a rescue.00:36:31.452 --> 00:36:32.414


I feel like.00:36:32.536 --> 00:36:42.789


I feel like any dog can become that way if they even mine, who's like the sweetest angel boy ever like you still have to be careful, like putting your face too close to their face.00:36:42.789 --> 00:36:46.288


You just never know what'll trigger them just like humans, we can't judge dogs.00:36:46.307 --> 00:36:47.469


We don't know what they've been through.00:36:47.490 --> 00:36:48.813


It's true.00:36:48.813 --> 00:36:50.217


Yes, we have to remember that.00:36:51.625 --> 00:36:53.824


So what is your favorite place to go on a first date here in town?00:36:54.246 --> 00:36:58.364


I really haven't been on many first dates here in town, so I don't know that I could even say how long have you been here?00:36:58.384 --> 00:37:02.217


for I would say November of 2023.00:37:07.885 --> 00:37:12.340


But the two guys that I've dated it's it's kind of started off just more casual where I haven't been taken on like an actual date here yet.00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:15.873


I need to find you someone I know I love salmon.00:37:16.126 --> 00:37:20.036


I love steak, so wherever there's good salmon or steak I would go.00:37:20.036 --> 00:37:23.728


But I haven't been to any fancier restaurants here.00:37:23.728 --> 00:37:33.014


But I also like something more casual too, Like, um, like mini golf sounds fun, or just something where you kind of get to know each other on a more low-key level.00:37:33.255 --> 00:37:39.936


Yeah and there's that new spot, that mini golf spot up north right oh, it's got a quarter pop stroke yeah.00:37:39.996 --> 00:37:41.346


I've heard of that.00:37:41.346 --> 00:37:41.987


Have you been there?00:37:41.987 --> 00:37:43.632


I've heard of it, I've never been there.00:37:43.693 --> 00:37:45.710


I think that would be a fun first date spot though?00:37:45.931 --> 00:37:46.353


yeah, I think so.00:37:46.353 --> 00:37:47.237


Do you have fun first date spot, though?00:37:47.237 --> 00:37:47.661


Yeah, I think so too.00:37:47.661 --> 00:37:48.224


Have some cocktails.00:37:48.244 --> 00:37:52.768


Yes, yes, how do you feel about like coffee or ice cream dates, or are you more of a?00:37:52.768 --> 00:37:54.873


Take me to a full-on dinner for a first date.00:37:54.952 --> 00:37:55.735


No, I'm more of a coffee.00:37:55.735 --> 00:37:56.657


You're more of a coffee.00:37:56.657 --> 00:38:02.159


Yeah, the casual yeah, because then, if you don't like, them.00:38:02.260 --> 00:38:02.880


Then you can.00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:05.981


That disses coffee and ice cream, because it's not extravagant enough.00:38:05.981 --> 00:38:08.041


I feel like that's kind of a red flag, right?00:38:08.101 --> 00:38:13.465


I just saw a video about that online where this girl was like absolutely do not go on coffee dates.00:38:13.465 --> 00:38:15.632


That means that the man's not making an effort at all.00:38:15.784 --> 00:38:19.771


Yes, this is a thing that's going around which I just don't think is true.00:38:19.771 --> 00:38:21.572


Yeah, I don't think it's true either.00:38:21.572 --> 00:38:24.891


I prefer a more low-key first date for sure?00:38:24.911 --> 00:38:29.775


Yeah, I wouldn't want to be taken to a hundred dollar a meal dinner right away, if I don't know you.00:38:30.382 --> 00:38:33.315


Yeah, especially because typically an expensive meal takes a long time.00:38:33.315 --> 00:38:34.027


And what if there's?00:38:34.027 --> 00:38:35.893


No chemistry and he's boring or he's creepy.00:38:35.913 --> 00:38:41.150


Yeah, and I always feel bad when people pay for me for anything too, so that's a thing I need to get over.00:38:41.251 --> 00:39:02.338


But like, especially for a first date, I'd be like this is too much yeah you are definitely not from Scottsdale so now it's time for the juiciest segment of the show the meat grab you down for the challenge, up for the grab, willing to share, pick one if you dare we didn't warn you about this part.00:39:02.478 --> 00:39:03.179


Some are innocent.00:39:03.820 --> 00:39:05.105


Some are not so innocent.00:39:06.809 --> 00:39:10.306


Pick one at your own risk oh, this isn't even as juicy as it could be.00:39:10.306 --> 00:39:11.369


What's on my bucket list?00:39:11.369 --> 00:39:13.818


Oh can I pick another one?00:39:13.838 --> 00:39:16.746


yes, please well, tell us, tell us about your bucket list.00:39:16.746 --> 00:39:18.789


What's top of your bucket list?00:39:20.914 --> 00:39:22.137


I want to get married in Iceland.00:39:22.137 --> 00:39:24.829


Really I thought Iceland is amazing.00:39:25.112 --> 00:39:28.103


It is like the natural hot springs and everything.00:39:28.485 --> 00:39:31.364


So, you want to get married there outside, yeah, under a waterfall.00:39:32.248 --> 00:39:32.791


Very specific.00:39:32.791 --> 00:39:34.251


Wow, that's kind of cool.00:39:34.251 --> 00:39:37.514


Not in my bikini, oh, you mean under, where it's not pouring on you.00:39:38.108 --> 00:39:42.155


Yeah, I went with my dad In a wedding dress.00:39:42.155 --> 00:39:43.623


Would you take me?00:39:43.623 --> 00:39:50.065


I went with my dad in 2014 for a week and it was like the best trip of my life it was.00:39:50.065 --> 00:39:51.128


It was life changing.00:39:51.128 --> 00:39:56.269


Honestly, that trip took me out of a pretty bad depression that I was in because it opened me up.00:39:56.309 --> 00:39:59.445


I was like, oh my God, there's so much more to the world than my tiny little.00:39:59.445 --> 00:40:02.969


This was right after college and I just I had come out of it.00:40:02.969 --> 00:40:17.637


I didn't know what I wanted to do, I wasn't feeling good, I was binge eating, like it just was not a good time in my life, and I went to France, first with my mom for my cousin's wedding, and then Iceland with my dad for a week, and I came home and I felt like completely a new person.00:40:17.885 --> 00:40:20.873


Like life-changing yeah, like totally refreshed yeah.00:40:21.273 --> 00:40:22.677


Um, I'd love to go to the Superbowl.00:40:22.677 --> 00:40:32.052


So yeah, that's something I'd like in a man, too, is that they like football, but I yeah, he's your team yeah, I don't fully have a team yet.00:40:32.052 --> 00:40:38.393


So I just recently got into football, like three years ago, and I haven't been ready to commit to a specific team yet.00:40:38.393 --> 00:40:41.498


I feel like I need the beige flag.00:40:41.559 --> 00:40:55.690


I need yeah, I need to know more about the team and I need to have some sort of connection so, like Denver, broncos would make sense, cause I'm from Colorado or I was born in Massachusetts, so Patriots could make sense if I wanted, but I've been, I've been wishy-washy about choosing.00:40:55.710 --> 00:40:59.588


Back in the nineties, I chose my football team based off of the cheerleaders uniforms.00:40:59.588 --> 00:41:01.329


Wow, who's your football team?00:41:01.329 --> 00:41:03.992


The Dallas Cowboys, yeah.00:41:04.331 --> 00:41:06.793


America, yeah, america, yeah.00:41:06.793 --> 00:41:12.820


I think just fun experiences that you can only do once in a lifetime, but that are also safe.00:41:12.820 --> 00:41:21.244


I don't really feel like I need to jump out of a plane but, I, would like to be in that plane, so yeah, Pick another one.00:41:21.264 --> 00:41:22.791


All right, try to get a juicy one.00:41:22.791 --> 00:41:24.644


I feel like I need to take that one out.00:41:24.704 --> 00:41:26.469


I feel like I need to take all the vanilla ones out?00:41:26.469 --> 00:41:29.114


No, because it's nice to talk about vanilla things too.00:41:29.114 --> 00:41:32.710


It's interesting to hear it's true.00:41:33.773 --> 00:41:39.351


How do you feel about shower sex Love it, hate it, or super neutral?00:41:39.351 --> 00:41:40.835


Okay, I'm going to say super neutral.00:41:40.835 --> 00:41:47.456


I think it's hot, but at the same time, just like making out when your faces are super wet.00:41:47.456 --> 00:41:50.286


It's not as great like.00:41:50.286 --> 00:41:57.931


I feel like everything's kind of um, it's not as what's the word that I'm trying to think of you.00:41:57.931 --> 00:42:01.704


I just don't, you don't feel as much things get washed away yeah, a little bit in the shower.00:42:02.586 --> 00:42:03.268


I agree with you.00:42:03.268 --> 00:42:04.289


I'm a.00:42:04.289 --> 00:42:11.811


I think it's okay to get started in the shower, but I think it needs to then move yeah, I agree, it just doesn't.00:42:12.554 --> 00:42:14.536


I guess we're being transparent here like feel.00:42:14.536 --> 00:42:16.407


Feel is good agreed.00:42:16.427 --> 00:42:19.094


Yeah, I agree yeah well, thank you so much.00:42:19.094 --> 00:42:25.644


Thank you so much for joining us here at the meat market and thank you so much, sam if you want to take Sam out on a date, wine her and dine her.00:42:25.744 --> 00:42:26.987


she likes salmon and steak.00:42:26.987 --> 00:42:33.351


Go to any of our social media platforms at Meat Market Podcast or our website, themeatmarketpodcastcom.00:42:33.351 --> 00:42:36.795


And thank you so much to our sponsor, tactical Tax Strategies.00:42:36.795 --> 00:42:43.893


If you want to preserve your wealth this tax season and keep more in your wallet, you have to go to Tactical Tax Strategies.00:42:43.893 --> 00:42:44.856


Thank you so much.00:42:44.856 --> 00:42:46.733


See you next week at the Meat Market.00:42:46.733 --> 00:42:50.893


Oh my God, I just totally got catfished.00:42:50.893 --> 00:42:52.938


He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.00:42:53.405 --> 00:42:58.047


So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:42:58.047 --> 00:43:00.190


His wife just reached out to me.