Meet Money-Makin’ Matt: Funny, Flirty, and Polycurious

WEBVTT

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Oh my god, I just totally got catfished.

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He looks absolutely nothing like his picture.

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So I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.

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His wife just reached out to me.

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Welcome to the Meat Market.

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The single scene is a slaughterhouse and we are here to devour it.

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We are your hosts.

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I'm Lindsay and I'm Jess, and today's sizzling single is the Matt Broom.

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No, no, no, applause.

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No, no, please Don't stand up.

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Don't stand up, we're lucky he's a bit of a local celebrity, matt Broom.

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He does stand-up comedy all across the state and actually nationwide right.

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Yeah, I like that.

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You're like local.

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He's in this area code only.

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Hatch Junction.

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You do venture out In this area code only Apache Junction.

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you do venture out.

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I do travel the entire US.

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So I have a question.

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When you are performing a set, have you ever had a joke?

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Just fall completely flat to where everyone's quiet, it's crickets and you're standing there cringing.

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Has that ever happened?

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to you.

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Oh yeah, no, that happens all the time.

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All the time.

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Every set, every set, it's normally just crickets.

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Every set, it's normally just crickets.

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It's just silence for most of my shows yeah.

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So how did you get into stand-up comedy?

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Just naturally so funny.

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Just dumb luck really.

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I was.

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Before I became a stand-up comedian.

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I was the regional director for Morgan Stanley, making millions of dollars, and then I decided to throw that away.

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Actually, the market crashed and I just happened to be at this little bar that was having a a comedy contest and I was with my one of my best friends and I mentioned to him that the guy sucked and he heard me.

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The guy on the stage heard you.

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The guy doing the set heard you.

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Oh, which I.

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I thought I was being quiet, but and he's like well, if you think you can do better, and he's like well, if you think you can do better once you get up here, I was like okay, and so then I got up and ended up winning the contest, I was like oh hey, this isn't that bad.

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And then the market crashed and so I was like, well, what am I going to do now?

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Do you usually like, are your sets usually like real-life stories, like, do funny things just happen to you in real life?

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Funny or horrific things happen to me in my life.

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Yes, most of my stuff is all stories of me in my real life.

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I don't he's super funny.

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I was his number one fan for a while, showing up at every single show.

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I'm watching you Like the groupie.

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Are there comedy groupies?

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You know what?

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What is the?

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We do have groupies and they're called chuckle somethings.

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Oh, kind of like a buckle, bunny chuckle.

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Like a chuckle fuckers, but are we allowed to cuss on this?

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one, absolutely.

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No, we have chuckle fuckers.

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Chuckle fuckers okay.

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So have you ever banged a chuckle fucker?

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Mom close yours.

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I have okay, so maybe yeah, I guess, I suppose how many Can you count on two hands?

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I mean, I can count on two hands.

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Yeah, I think that Is it like do you have like a trailer?

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Do you take them back to your dressing room?

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Is it like?

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So no, I mean technically, I guess it would be the green room.

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Like you have a green room behind stage.

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Okay.

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However, it's not like being a rock star, Like comedy is.

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First of all, most of us are ugly, that's just a thing.

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And then there's no really hot comics out there or leading men comics, because we all have to have, like, a dark past or be made fun of our entire lives to like bring it out.

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Um, and the other thing too is with like comedy shows is it is typically like a couples.

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It's like a date night.

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It is.

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It's a lot.

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It's like a day there's no bachelor at parties.

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Going to the comedy club, yeah, and if it is, it's not the bachelor party.

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You want to be there.

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Well, that one.

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There's that one comic now.

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Is it matt rife?

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Yeah, that he talks about sex a lot and I feel like he gets like audience involvement and so like I feel like he's sort of.

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Now it is like, and more single women, I think, are going to his shows like matt's, like one of the first, like really hot comics.

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That's the only problem.

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Like it was.

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I think I guess dane cook was doing okay, although he's not, I mean anyway, uh like, but there's not a lot of like super good looking leading men type yeah except for matt, right matt matt's, so I used to live in old town, scottsdale, right by the comedy spot, which you used to perform at the comedy spot all the time do you remember jose, a comedian called jose.

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He was like a Puerto Rican, I think, super, super good looking.

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Anyways, I used to go there all the time because I was walking distance and I love to laugh and I stayed at the end to say hi to him and thank him for such a great show, and he ended up texting me and flew me out to see a bunch of his shows.

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You were a chuckle fucker.

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You were a chuckle fucker.

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You are a chuckle fucker.

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Cringe, but yeah, so he was like one good looking comedian that I've.

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Well, two, you two.

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Oh, thank you, Thank you.

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I only know two, Matt Broom and Jose.

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I've got a good personality.

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I'm just a fat girl.

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So you have been in a couple polyamorous marriages I want to talk about that like I want to know all the details because that's the trend yes, we're jumping right into it because that's the trend now no foreplay, no nothing

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the foreplay is overrated.

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So that is the trend now is polyamorous relationships.

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People are inviting, you know, people into their marriages or their relationships.

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Trouble.

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So I want to hear about your stories.

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Okay, so the first, okay, the first time you had a polyamorous relationship was it with your ex-wife it was with.

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Well, yeah, I mean, I've been in in a gambit of relationships like I, I did the swing scene for a little bit.

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I've done, like you know it.

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It just because it's it's very difficult with my line of work, like being on the road and doing things like you have to have kind of an open relationship for it to work sometimes, um and uh, my first polyamorous relationship, um was, yeah, I, I we were married, but it was, it was definitely a marriage of.

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She was just my best friend at the time and it it's, it just worked.

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And, um, she was like I, at this time I was doing a lot of shows in Vegas.

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Uh, this is when I had my residency in Vegas and so I was there a lot.

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And uh, she's like look, matt, I know that you're, you know, because of your job, you don't want to like be settled down and all this other stuff.

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And she was pretty well-to-do as well.

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Her ex was like a billionaire, and so she's like well, all I want is, you know, for us to get married, because I love spending time with you.

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I just want you to, you know, come home to me, blah, blah, blah.

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You don't have to work every anymore.

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If you don't want to like, I'll take care of you.

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The only thing I ask is if I could bring home a woman every once in a while.

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I was like, okay, um where do I sign up?

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am I being punked right now like what is happening, like there's got to be a catch to this uh and no, that's what, that's what she wanted, and so, uh, I think, I think, if it wasn't her idea, like it would never happen, like I feel like.

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it's much easier when it's the females like, want and desire to add someone and she just wanted a third every once in a while, or did she want a third to be like another part of your relationship?

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So initially it was just like you know, know, every once in a while like I want to spruce things up and then, and then it kind of transformed into uh, you know, I like spending time with this person, like, like, let's move her in, and so how do you meet these other women that you would move in?

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other websites, or was it just one?

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Or was it just one?

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Was it just the one?

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uh, it was just the one.

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So, like originally, when, when we first met, it was like it was open, it wasn't really.

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We just had an open marriage and and for like the first two years we didn't do anything, like I, I didn't even even cross my mind, which was kind of nice too, because, like, when you have that, that openness, there's no risk of the temptations gone, I guess.

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There's no thrill of doing something.

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You're not hiding anything.

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No excitement.

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The first two years we were still just very plain vanilla and just going through life Monogamous in the first two years of the relationship.

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And then we decided to spice it up a little bit and I met the person through comedy.

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Actually, I was working at a club and someone that worked at the club started talking to me and we were discussing.

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She put a kid up for adoption and I'm adopted.

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So we just found some like common ground to, to bond on.

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And then we started.

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I took her out a couple of times and and then, and she knew that I was married and, um, I do.

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You know we don't.

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I didn't keep it a secret by any stretch of the imagination.

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And then we went out a couple of times and then I was like, hey, would you be willing to, you know, come and go on a like I don't want to say a double date, because it's not a double date, a triple date, a triple date A triangle.

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You call it a triangle date.

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And yeah, we did, and everybody got along and it was all right long and it was all right um.

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However, the the the problem with that was was the girl that that I brought into what ended up being a throuple.

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Um, she wasn't bisexual she wasn't interesting, so she didn't do anything with your wife no, she did eventually, but like it wasn, but like it wasn't her thing.

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Like she just wanted to spend.

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But your wife was into it.

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She was bisexual, that was her.

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That was her thing, you know her thing, and so that was difficult in itself.

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Is is trying to I don't want to say coax or or.

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I mean you're, you're starting a relationship with two people Like dating's hard alone, just with one person and so then, when you're dealing with two people and then you know, as time goes by, there's jealousy of like well, is she doing this better, Is he doing this better?

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Is you know, are you spending more time with this person?

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Are you spending more time with this person, Then you're juggling even more.

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And, as a man, to have to deal with two women at that time of the month when their cycles are kind of on par.

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You guys should hang out more often Sync this thing up please, let's get this on track, as much as it sounds amazing, because I know every single comic that I knew was like Matt.

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How are you doing this?

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This is fantastic that they're both going out with you and they're you know, you guys share the same bed.

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You guys share all this.

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I was just going to ask that Me too.

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Did you all three share the same bedroom, or were there?

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Did they each have their own bedrooms and there was like one for the couple, like what was the?

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What's the?

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bedroom situation.

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We had a the bed.

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I feel like it was bigger than a California King.

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I really do.

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It was a custom.

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It was a massive bed.

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Were you Big Spoon, who was in the middle it was like a reverse Oreo is what it was.

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It was just me in the middle.

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That's funny.

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That's really funny.

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But I sleep weird too, like I don't move, I just sleep on my side and I don't go anywhere.

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So it wasn't even it's not like people were stretching out and trying to kick me off the bed when you were intimate.

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Was it all three of you all the time at the same time, or did you and your wife do it separately from?

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did you kind of switch it up Again?

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You know, when people think of like polyamory and throuples and things like that, I think people have this idea of like some porn scene.

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It's just crazy wild sex every night.

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Yeah, it's just crazy wild sex every night.

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Yeah, it's just crazy wild sex every night.

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Yeah, it's just crazy wild sex every night.

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Yeah, it's just crazy.

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Wild sex every night, yeah it's just crazy wild sex every night.

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Yeah, it's just crazy wild sex every night.

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Yeah, it's just crazy wild sex every night.

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You've got like one on the chandelier.

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You've got the other one tied up like hog tied to the bedpost.

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Who's going to be my good girl?

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Who's going to be my good girl?

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You're my good girl, or am I good girl?

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I feel like that's how everybody thinks of it, and it really is.

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It was more of like a I don't want to say commune, but we were all working together at the same thing.

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And the other thing too is is both females in this situation?

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Uh, had kids, so again it's again.

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When you have one relationship it's hard dealing with.

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Just you know what are the kids?

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asleep.

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One of the kids are not doing this and and you don't want to, or I didn't want to like flaunt it in front of them, so we weren't like going around, you know, the house all day naked and slapping asses.

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There was children present.

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So when you moved this other woman in, did the kids move in as well with?

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her.

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No, at that point I don't know if we're using names or not, but we'll do, jane and I don't know Jane and Joe, jane and Joe, jane and Joe, using names or not, but we'll do uh, jane, and I don't know jane and joe no, she, uh, the doe, the second one that we were moving in um.

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No, she didn't have her kids at the time, so it was, it was so did jane ever get jealous?

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Um, kind of, but not I don't know she.

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Well, yes, she definitely got jealous, and the other one got.

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Everybody got jealous at one point in time, Except for me, I was never jealous of anything.

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Just live in the dream.

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Just live in the dream.

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King Matt stirring the pot, Did you get carpal tunnel?

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He's over there like stirring up the drama?

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No, you guys find it out.

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Stirring the pot, did you get carpal tunnel?

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He's over there.

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Like stirring up the drama, yeah, yeah.

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So did you have a preference, like, did you start to feel more for Doe than you did for Jane?

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Did you start to, like, do things privately with Doe?

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So yes, so well.

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so, jane, she was having some medical issues, not like sexual transmitted or anything that I was talking about From all the crazy sex you've been having, from all the crazy sex we're having Like just regular health issues, you know.

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It wasn't anything that you'd find on Van Buren over here.

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No, she had like like an auto mute.

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Not auto mute, that is this, that might be aids.

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Um, no, she had something.

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She had something that I could even pronounce like some medical thing that I still don't know how to say.

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I'm not insensitive, I just can't say it.

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Um, but so she just became like more of a homebody and didn't want to go out anywhere.

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So she just like never left the bed at one point, and so Doe was like well, I want to go out, and I always had to go out just because I had you know shows and red carpets and networking events that I had to be at, and were you still in Vegas at this time?

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Well, at this time I was going back and forth.

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Okay so.

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I was in Vegas and then we had a place in the Biltmore area.

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Okay so, you're living in two like very fun cities, basically Correct, like you're like in big going-out cities.

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So it's hard, yeah, to be with someone who's basically on bed rest, and at this point I was like my career was ramping up, like I just won like the next Vegas Headliner competition in Vegas and I was doing other things.

00:15:27.966 --> 00:15:56.613
And I will say it did kind of detract from my career because then I started dealing with the double relationship, because it is again, it could be double the fun, but it is also double the stress, the stress and problems and everything else, and so especially when the those two, you know, would only get along on occasion, because again one was there for for me and the other one was- so how did it end ultimately?

00:15:57.455 --> 00:16:03.086
so ultimately, uh, I broke up with jane, my, the wife, the main one, and and left with the left to fordell fordell.

00:16:03.086 --> 00:16:05.328
How did jane, my, the wife, the main one, and and left with the?

00:16:05.529 --> 00:16:07.753
left to fordo fordo.

00:16:07.753 --> 00:16:08.955
How did jane take that?

00:16:10.322 --> 00:16:12.488
uh, not well was it like?

00:16:12.567 --> 00:16:13.710
was it like a coup like?

00:16:13.710 --> 00:16:21.994
Was it planned, like you and do sort of like planned this separation, or was it a decision that you made more for yourself?

00:16:22.822 --> 00:16:24.647
no, it was more for myself, like breaking.

00:16:24.647 --> 00:16:32.899
Breaking that is also a different thing is because breaking it turned into a completely separate situation.

00:16:32.899 --> 00:16:50.613
So the one had medical problems and then the other had a little bit of an alcohol problem, and so the alcohol problem may have contributed, but it also probably intensified because she was in an uncomfortable position.

00:16:55.125 --> 00:17:01.870
But would you have left your ex-wife regardless of whether there were another person in the mix or not?

00:17:01.870 --> 00:17:03.245
Yes, I think I was.

00:17:04.519 --> 00:17:06.422
Because as amazing as it sounded the deal, or not?

00:17:06.422 --> 00:17:08.087
Yes, I think I was, because as amazing as it sounded the deal that I was getting.

00:17:08.087 --> 00:17:15.182
I am actually a very Disney happy ever-ending, ever-after.

00:17:15.182 --> 00:17:21.854
I'm like old school romantic, like I want to be in love, love, love, love.

00:17:21.854 --> 00:17:22.867
And it wasn't.

00:17:22.867 --> 00:17:34.734
It was more convenience than and don't get me wrong, I loved her very much but, it wasn't like we fell in love and I courted her for years, like we met on Tinder and like she paid her kids to be good that day.

00:17:34.944 --> 00:17:39.671
Like it wasn't anything like that, so and we're still friends.

00:17:39.671 --> 00:17:42.805
It wasn't like a bad breakup or anything like that, so and and we're still friends, we, it wasn't like a a bad breakup or anything like that.

00:17:42.805 --> 00:17:43.946
It just was like you know what?

00:17:43.946 --> 00:17:52.251
This isn't what we thought it was going to be yeah, um, but she did spiral downward afterwards.

00:17:52.392 --> 00:17:59.587
but, um, I mean, soon after that she, she sent me a huge text message saying like, thank you for doing that.

00:17:59.587 --> 00:18:09.684
Like I, uh, it changed my life, it made me get back out of my head and do this, and she dropped like 30 pounds and you know, was out in the field.

00:18:10.266 --> 00:18:11.150
Oh, good for her.

00:18:11.150 --> 00:18:12.032
She's happy now.

00:18:12.032 --> 00:18:13.940
Yeah, the silver lining Aw yay.

00:18:14.907 --> 00:18:16.173
So it worked out in the end.

00:18:16.173 --> 00:18:20.175
And then the other one just turned into a complete train wreck and I was like, okay.

00:18:23.944 --> 00:18:26.455
Ryan, the hot one just turned into a complete train wreck and I was like okay, the alcoholism took over at that point.

00:18:26.476 --> 00:18:27.219
It was like we're just gonna spiral.

00:18:27.219 --> 00:18:37.630
She was just I would go on tour, like I was in minnesota for the week or something at like the house of comedy and and she would just like go on vendors and never come home and I'm like, oh okay, well, that's not cool.

00:18:37.630 --> 00:18:51.842
Um so, and that was the other thing too was our relationship originally was open, but then once it became the thruple, then it was closed it was closed with the three of you.

00:18:51.842 --> 00:18:56.050
So yeah, right, yeah but uh, it was it ultimately.

00:18:56.111 --> 00:19:03.767
It was really only closed with two of us yeah, as we found out yeah in the end, but did it give you some good like material to use during your comedy shows?

00:19:03.767 --> 00:19:08.075
Did you ever do jokes about your relationship or no?

00:19:08.075 --> 00:19:13.952
You know, the sad thing is I didn't touch it that is a gold mine.

00:19:14.114 --> 00:19:26.491
It is a gold mine every comic that I toured with and went with, like they use me as an example yeah all the time and I was like I, I don't like they'll come to a show I don't want to like make them cry.

00:19:26.551 --> 00:19:28.175
You don't want to be crying in the audience.

00:19:28.196 --> 00:19:33.170
Yeah, so it was so then, fast forward to your second marriage.

00:19:33.170 --> 00:19:37.761
You also did the same thing you invited a third person in.

00:19:37.761 --> 00:19:39.286
Tell us about that one.

00:19:39.286 --> 00:19:40.107
Did that go better?

00:19:41.712 --> 00:19:43.858
wait, I thought you were just poly in one of your marriages.

00:19:43.858 --> 00:19:44.862
Yeah, it was, oh, okay.

00:19:44.942 --> 00:19:45.163
Are we?

00:19:45.182 --> 00:19:45.624
making a.

00:19:46.346 --> 00:19:50.166
Oh, I thought you said let's just try to start rumors Are we starting things Like.

00:19:50.166 --> 00:20:09.909
Matt is the polyamorous king, like all he does is find women and I thought in your most recent marriage you also had a third person that you bought into the relationship.

00:20:09.909 --> 00:20:10.069
Is that?

00:20:10.069 --> 00:20:10.570
What did I misunderstand?

00:20:10.570 --> 00:20:11.173
Uh, yeah, no, that didn't I mean.

00:20:11.173 --> 00:20:13.398
Again, in my third marriage, she did bring in a third marriage sorry, you've been married three times.

00:20:13.419 --> 00:20:14.643
Yeah, so I can't keep track of the first one.

00:20:14.643 --> 00:20:15.003
Uh, I was.

00:20:15.003 --> 00:20:19.228
I was very young in the Marine Corps and it was very like she was Mexican.

00:20:19.228 --> 00:20:22.509
If I would have even looked at another girl, I was being stabbed.

00:20:22.509 --> 00:20:25.672
She was very, very possessive.

00:20:26.573 --> 00:20:27.933
Okay, but your most recent one.

00:20:28.933 --> 00:20:30.035
My most recent one.

00:20:30.035 --> 00:20:34.317
I guess I was in a throuple inadvertently, or I didn't know.

00:20:34.317 --> 00:20:36.219
I was in a throuple, if that makes any sense.

00:20:36.219 --> 00:20:36.859
Interesting, interesting.

00:20:36.859 --> 00:20:42.123
So, unbeknownst to you, unbeknownst to me, you were in a throuple, if that makes any sense, interesting, interesting.

00:20:42.182 --> 00:20:44.545
So, unbeknownst to you, unbeknownst to me, you were in a throuple.

00:20:45.566 --> 00:20:55.413
Because your wife was in a relationship with someone else behind your back, or what Well, yeah towards the well, yeah, no.

00:20:55.925 --> 00:20:58.193
I don't even know how to put this one, because we're still going through it.

00:20:58.193 --> 00:21:01.532
It's a sensitive subject, it's not sensitive.

00:21:01.532 --> 00:21:04.185
It still going through it.

00:21:04.185 --> 00:21:05.648
But um, uh, it's a sensitive subject, it's not sensitive.

00:21:05.648 --> 00:21:05.909
Uh, it hurts.

00:21:05.909 --> 00:21:06.189
No, I it's um.

00:21:06.189 --> 00:21:06.250
No.

00:21:06.250 --> 00:21:09.815
So my, my third relationship was a like.

00:21:09.815 --> 00:21:23.619
It was another actress and I met her on set and um, in the beginning before we were married, um, she just was unaware that we were as serious as we were apparently.

00:21:23.700 --> 00:21:27.292
So she, oh God, yeah, okay, she was doing things.

00:21:27.292 --> 00:21:34.334
So she didn't know that you guys were committed and Right, right, Okay, I mean yeah right.

00:21:34.334 --> 00:21:36.365
She was still single, ready to mingle.

00:21:36.586 --> 00:21:44.971
That's the story that she told Okay, yes, so that and that in itself, and she also knew that I came out of a throuple.

00:21:44.971 --> 00:22:01.627
So I think there was I don't know if it was a communication error or what, but I don't know like there was, there was already mistrust on my portion of it going into it and like I thought I could forgive her cause.

00:22:01.627 --> 00:22:07.944
I was used to being in scenarios like that but it did weigh on me for a good portion of that.

00:22:08.266 --> 00:22:09.632
I feel like that's hard to get past.

00:22:10.105 --> 00:22:20.390
Once the trust is broken, it's very hard to gain back, don't you think, and especially in relationships like that, where you are bringing in other people, if the communication is not on point.

00:22:20.390 --> 00:22:22.457
The trust is everything Like yeah, exactly.

00:22:24.005 --> 00:22:26.491
Exactly other people if the communication is not on point, like yeah, exactly exactly.

00:22:26.491 --> 00:22:38.626
Everyone has to be on the same page, right and and the trust should be easier because there's, it's hard to do wrong yeah, right like if yeah if someone's having a an affair and doing it behind someone's back, like that's a different story.

00:22:38.626 --> 00:22:42.876
Like you're, you have a have a pass to go to do, go, do this.

00:22:42.916 --> 00:22:43.076
Yes.

00:22:43.278 --> 00:22:52.755
Now, granted, there are rules to everything Like, and again you, you set up your boundaries and you set up what, what you are comfortable or not comfortable with, um from the start.

00:22:52.755 --> 00:22:57.446
And so those, if those are broken again, yeah that trust is, is everything.

00:22:57.626 --> 00:23:00.271
What was it like fighting with two women at the same time?

00:23:00.271 --> 00:23:04.419
Like did you ever get in fights where it was like both of them against you?

00:23:04.419 --> 00:23:07.432
Yeah, like I can't imagine.

00:23:07.432 --> 00:23:07.973
Like.

00:23:09.925 --> 00:23:13.336
You know I'm a very non-confrontational kind of guy.

00:23:13.336 --> 00:23:17.143
There was a lot of mood swings in the house, okay.

00:23:17.163 --> 00:23:17.263
I bet.

00:23:17.586 --> 00:23:21.429
Quite a bit of mood swings and you never know.

00:23:21.429 --> 00:23:25.116
I never knew what was when I'd go home like what I was going to be walking into.

00:23:25.217 --> 00:23:25.356
Yeah.

00:23:30.884 --> 00:23:39.507
Like there was a problem with the kid, or she said the wrong thing that she didn't like, and so again, it is a balancing act in trying to appease everyone in the house and if you like, do you?

00:23:39.606 --> 00:23:43.515
did you feel like if you did something for one, you had to do something for the other?

00:23:43.515 --> 00:23:47.888
Like if you were bringing flowers home, did you have to pick up like two bunches of flowers?

00:23:47.888 --> 00:23:49.893
Or if you were bringing whatever?

00:23:49.893 --> 00:23:56.492
Like you had to do, but like you had to do double duty because you couldn't do one for one and not do for the other?

00:23:56.874 --> 00:23:59.019
you know yes and no.

00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:04.174
I got away with not having to do that sometimes because I would do things while I was out.

00:24:04.174 --> 00:24:12.736
Okay, with the other one, okay, but it wouldn't be like double flowers, like if I did something it would be individual to them.

00:24:12.736 --> 00:24:19.877
So, if you know, Jane really loved flowers but the other one really loves like a cookie bouquet.

00:24:19.877 --> 00:24:21.798
Okay, then I would do what they, what fit their personality or what fit their preferences.

00:24:21.751 --> 00:24:25.199
So I didn't do like a cookie bouquet, okay, and I would do what, what, whatever, what fit their personality or what fit their preferences.

00:24:25.298 --> 00:24:30.830
A group on costco gift like it was like it was just.

00:24:30.912 --> 00:24:41.229
It was definitely like specific to their personalities you get like the four pack of gift cards and you're like this one's for you, this one's for you everything's bogo, everything's fine.

00:24:41.529 --> 00:24:42.652
I can't afford it if it's not.

00:24:43.553 --> 00:24:44.976
So fast forward to today.

00:24:44.976 --> 00:24:45.777
Are you dating?

00:24:45.777 --> 00:24:46.759
Are you on the apps?

00:24:49.428 --> 00:24:50.855
So I am dating.

00:24:50.855 --> 00:24:53.273
I mean dating, so I just turned 50.

00:24:53.904 --> 00:24:55.609
Wow, you look so great.

00:24:55.609 --> 00:24:58.875
I'm wearing a hat because I'm going bald right now.

00:25:00.329 --> 00:25:14.494
It's not pleasant, it's not a good thing to look at anymore, but dating at 50 is horrifically bad, like horrifically bad Well, for multiple reasons.

00:25:14.494 --> 00:25:16.332
Well, one it's not even.

00:25:16.332 --> 00:25:26.679
I think you're going over more medications and things that are going wrong with you now, as opposed to like hey, let's go to Cabo this weekend.

00:25:26.699 --> 00:25:29.588
Like comparing your knee pain, like whose knee, whose knee and hip pain is worse?

00:25:29.608 --> 00:25:36.105
you're talking about drugs and things like like and not the good ones you're talking about how's your blood pressure today it's pretty good, it's pretty good, it's good.

00:25:36.847 --> 00:25:38.730
Um, yeah, you have to plan everything.

00:25:38.730 --> 00:25:40.535
Like a lactose intolerant, I can't.

00:25:40.535 --> 00:25:42.157
If there's a cheese stick, it's going to ruin my night.

00:25:42.157 --> 00:25:45.484
Like it's not, like it's a lot more planning.

00:25:45.484 --> 00:26:06.020
So like just being older and plus, you know, when you're meeting people that are 50, like they're not, they have baggage, like there's there's a lot of things coming with it and and you're you're dealing with their past relationships, which is probably a multitude of them at this point in time.

00:26:06.020 --> 00:26:09.840
And and not saying I date all 50 year olds either, like I do date.

00:26:09.930 --> 00:26:12.057
I was just going to ask that what your preference is.

00:26:12.057 --> 00:26:17.058
Is your preference to date women your age or to date women younger or older?

00:26:17.540 --> 00:26:22.614
Well, so I date women younger or older.

00:26:22.614 --> 00:26:23.056
Well, so I I always.

00:26:23.056 --> 00:26:24.782
I used to have a rule that I was cool with like 10 up or 10 down, like I.

00:26:24.782 --> 00:26:27.511
That was my thing and I never really did the 10 up, but I would say it you know for that.

00:26:27.511 --> 00:26:38.521
You were open to it pc purposes, yeah um, but now and and I feel like men tend to date younger anyway- it's typically it's easier to impress especially.

00:26:38.561 --> 00:26:40.308
Yeah, it's easier to impress Especially here, yeah.

00:26:40.869 --> 00:26:46.540
Well, it's easier to impress a young woman, it's easier to, you know, appease them, I guess.

00:26:46.540 --> 00:26:48.556
Actually it's not easier to appease them.

00:26:48.556 --> 00:26:57.179
I don't know why I said that, but it's I mean, it's arm candy or trophy wife or whatever a self-esteem booster, whatever the case is.

00:26:57.179 --> 00:27:09.455
But you also find out that, like it's just a lot more work, like if you date an older woman, like they already know, like hey, I gotta get up early, I gotta do this, I gotta do that like they're gonna care about your.

00:27:09.476 --> 00:27:14.635
You're like your back pain or something you know you're gonna be planning stuff.

00:27:14.655 --> 00:27:19.817
They'll be like uh, matt's broke his back in the raincoat, he probably doesn't want to hike Kilimanjaro.

00:27:19.817 --> 00:27:23.759
The other one's like Daddy, I want to.

00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:25.066
And you're like, uh, no.

00:27:25.066 --> 00:27:30.642
So you know, there is significant differences when it comes to that.

00:27:30.642 --> 00:27:32.616
So I don't know.

00:27:32.616 --> 00:27:35.098
And then everybody's got their own stuff at this point too.

00:27:35.098 --> 00:27:40.691
So you know, if you're 50, like I just lost, lost, you know, my house in chandler and all that other thing.

00:27:40.691 --> 00:27:49.144
And now I'm back in like a townhouse and I'm like, oh, this sucks, but like you're back in your bachelor pad, back in the yeah unfortunately, my bachelor pad.

00:27:49.163 --> 00:27:50.973
I only took the things that came out of my kids room.

00:27:50.973 --> 00:27:55.272
Uh, so I've got a star wars bachelor pad, so it looks like I'm a 12 year old.

00:27:55.272 --> 00:28:03.798
No more california king, no, actually it was one of my first purchases, but yeah, so it's just.

00:28:04.410 --> 00:28:06.438
So what's the worst date that you've ever been on?

00:28:06.438 --> 00:28:08.036
Do you have a disaster date story?

00:28:09.250 --> 00:28:13.162
Disaster date or catfish.

00:28:13.570 --> 00:28:15.438
Besides our date that we went on Besides our date.

00:28:15.438 --> 00:28:17.096
Yes, On the Bachelor intro.

00:28:17.096 --> 00:28:18.079
What was your guys'?

00:28:18.161 --> 00:28:18.930
date I want to know.

00:28:19.412 --> 00:28:21.557
We did a date for the Bachelorette.

00:28:21.898 --> 00:28:22.200
Uh-huh.

00:28:23.231 --> 00:28:24.616
And it was a phenomenal date.

00:28:24.616 --> 00:28:24.998
It was.

00:28:25.309 --> 00:28:26.895
Was that where they came to film In the Mint?

00:28:26.955 --> 00:28:28.019
In the Mint, yeah, in the Mint.

00:28:28.109 --> 00:28:34.992
So they had this grandiose idea to film me going on dates with these a bunch of dudes and just hard.

00:28:34.992 --> 00:28:36.335
It was supposed to be bad dates, right?

00:28:36.394 --> 00:28:38.759
I forget it was so long like was it part of your promo?

00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:39.779
It was part of the promo.

00:28:39.799 --> 00:28:45.936
Yeah, it was part of the promo, okay and so I had to get like a few guys to come in and act like they were going on a date with me okay.

00:28:45.957 --> 00:28:47.121
So there was this show.

00:28:47.121 --> 00:28:55.536
She had good dates and then she had one bad date and you were the bad date and she was like matt I feel as though you'd be the worst date ever and I'm like you know what you?

00:28:55.536 --> 00:28:57.018
You're probably right, let's do it.

00:28:57.018 --> 00:29:00.364
And so we went oh, that's funny, and it was the worst date.

00:29:00.364 --> 00:29:01.596
Like we recreated the date.

00:29:01.596 --> 00:29:05.957
You know it was fictional, but it was so that was officially your worst date ever.

00:29:05.957 --> 00:29:10.099
Well, they stopped filming three times because they were laughing so much.

00:29:10.942 --> 00:29:20.872
I remember that it was actually fantastic and then unfortunately it didn't air because it in air because it didn't make the cut.

00:29:20.892 --> 00:29:21.133
Because why?

00:29:21.133 --> 00:29:22.777
Because you didn't make it, because you didn't make the cut.

00:29:22.777 --> 00:29:23.618
They chose, so they did a bunch of.

00:29:23.618 --> 00:29:26.512
They had a bunch of different intros and they didn't pick that one.

00:29:26.532 --> 00:29:31.311
They picked another one with me, oh yes, and where you came out in all your different outfits?

00:29:31.311 --> 00:29:32.916
No, this was gonna be your backstory.

00:29:33.740 --> 00:29:35.666
Was it later on in this?

00:29:35.707 --> 00:29:38.731
season or something yeah, interesting, but I got the boot.

00:29:38.731 --> 00:29:41.734
Interesting the boot the boot.

00:29:42.375 --> 00:29:44.978
So let's see, Do you have any embarrassing stories?

00:29:45.018 --> 00:29:47.881
No, but I've had bad dates before.

00:29:47.881 --> 00:29:50.723
Like I had a date that was so bad I faked Tourette's.

00:29:51.345 --> 00:29:52.826
Really yeah what.

00:29:55.769 --> 00:29:59.900
I started talking in the chair next to me because I thought this girl was so crazy that I was like I don't know how to get out of here without.

00:29:59.900 --> 00:30:03.528
Like I can't hurt people's feelings, like I'm horrible.

00:30:03.528 --> 00:30:05.715
I told you I'm not good at confrontation.

00:30:05.715 --> 00:30:08.366
So I was like how, how do I get out of this?

00:30:08.366 --> 00:30:18.819
And I just started talking to the chair next to me you just had to like out crazy, her crazy yeah, I was like I hurt her it was and my gosh it was.

00:30:20.750 --> 00:30:21.337
So how did she react to?

00:30:21.357 --> 00:30:22.329
that, Oddly enough, she stayed for a long time.

00:30:22.329 --> 00:30:24.337
I'm like she is not biting on this.

00:30:24.836 --> 00:30:25.569
Was it a dinner, though?

00:30:25.569 --> 00:30:31.199
She was probably hungry waiting for her food, and I think we were like it wasn't even a good day.

00:30:31.371 --> 00:30:32.923
I think we were like oreganos or something.

00:30:32.923 --> 00:30:33.588
I'm not saying it was bad.

00:30:36.596 --> 00:30:39.862
I love oreganos, it was just like a normal date.

00:30:39.862 --> 00:30:40.683
That's funny.

00:30:40.683 --> 00:30:42.076
So do you have an embarrassing story?

00:30:42.076 --> 00:30:44.234
Did something embarrassing happen to you on a date?

00:30:45.096 --> 00:30:47.742
Or to the lady Embarrassing.

00:30:47.742 --> 00:30:57.944
I did have a date where I had an ex approach the table.

00:30:59.011 --> 00:31:06.597
I've had that happen to me before that, so the ex saw you on a date and actually came up yeah, yeah, yeah and how did that go?

00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:21.153
uh, well, I thought she was going to be like mean or say something, but like she was like very complimentary and and was like, uh, this is the one that got away and like I'm like what, what, what?

00:31:21.153 --> 00:31:22.336
It threw me off completely.

00:31:22.336 --> 00:31:23.679
I didn't even know what to say.

00:31:23.679 --> 00:31:33.176
I was like I don't know how to react to this, because I thought I was like that one didn't end well, I don't think um, and so I thought she was gonna, you know, go off a rocker.

00:31:33.176 --> 00:31:37.897
But she's like she just said nothing but nice things and like oh nice, pump me up.

00:31:37.958 --> 00:31:41.914
And then this other girl was like oh, well now?

00:31:41.954 --> 00:31:42.696
Yeah, it probably worked.

00:31:42.696 --> 00:31:43.439
It wasn't embarrassing.

00:31:43.439 --> 00:31:44.501
It definitely worked in my favor.

00:31:44.541 --> 00:31:52.058
Yeah, I remember one time I was on a date and I went to the restroom and I came out and he's like you have toilet paper hanging from your jeans.

00:31:52.058 --> 00:31:53.957
You thought everyone was staring at your ass.

00:31:57.795 --> 00:31:58.777
Didn't you cringe?

00:31:58.777 --> 00:32:00.098
Was it clean, was it?

00:32:00.098 --> 00:32:02.281
Oh, my god, I've had I've done.

00:32:02.422 --> 00:32:04.345
I've done something similar to that.

00:32:04.345 --> 00:32:06.979
I was yeah, I wasn't on a date, I was with my.

00:32:06.979 --> 00:32:10.633
I was with my ex, like we had been together for a long time, and we were in.

00:32:10.633 --> 00:32:11.796
Where were we?

00:32:11.796 --> 00:32:14.683
We were in mexico.

00:32:14.683 --> 00:32:17.781
We're on isla mujeres, which is like an island off of cancun, and we were at this reggae bar.

00:32:17.781 --> 00:32:18.309
I like how you're just getting fancy.

00:32:18.309 --> 00:32:19.554
We were on Isla Mujeres, which is like an island off of Cancun and we were at this reggae bar.

00:32:19.535 --> 00:32:20.703
I like how you're just getting fancy.

00:32:20.703 --> 00:32:22.434
We were in the islands, I'm like where were we?

00:32:22.829 --> 00:32:43.954
No, but we were at this reggae bar and it was so hot and humid and I went to the restroom and the restroom was like all the way back into the back of the restaurant and I had like a swimsuit on right and like a little skirt cover-up thing, and it was a new swimsuit and I was walking back to the table and I don't know why it was so hot and humid.

00:32:43.954 --> 00:32:52.433
I didn't want to pull my swimsuit bottoms down, so I just pulled them to the side to pee and then put it back this can't go wrong oh my god, no, it was so bad, it was so.

00:32:52.453 --> 00:32:54.137
Was your vagina, listen?

00:32:54.137 --> 00:32:58.655
So I'm like walking back to the table and like, just like, think I'm so hot, shit right.

00:32:58.655 --> 00:33:02.846
And I and I'm just like, oh ah, new bikini, you know whatever.

00:33:02.846 --> 00:33:10.580
And my ex, I get back to the table and I'm standing there and he's looking at me and I was like what?

00:33:10.580 --> 00:33:11.894
And he was like you.

00:33:11.894 --> 00:33:13.900
He was like you know your pussy's out?

00:33:13.900 --> 00:33:22.089
And I looked at him and I was like, oh my God, I was mortified, like I was so embarrassed.

00:33:22.170 --> 00:33:33.061
So your badge was literally hanging out Just half of it, just half of it, where I didn't like slide my swimsuit back completely, and it was one of those wraparound tie skirts that's like slit all the way up Right.

00:33:33.061 --> 00:33:38.195
So it was like blowing in the wind behind me as I was walking back to the table.

00:33:38.195 --> 00:33:40.201
I was so embarrassed.

00:33:40.201 --> 00:33:44.074
I'm probably red right now because I'm having second hand embarrassment.

00:33:44.074 --> 00:33:48.474
This was probably seven years ago and I'm still embarrassed by it.

00:33:48.474 --> 00:33:51.251
But then I'm like everyone's on vacation.

00:33:51.251 --> 00:33:52.576
No one's ever going to see me again.

00:33:52.576 --> 00:33:59.585
So if you were at the reggae bar that day, I apologize too, because my snatch was out, it didn't sound like it went well or went poorly.

00:33:59.704 --> 00:34:00.548
No, it didn't go poorly.

00:34:00.548 --> 00:34:01.130
Nobody was like ooh.

00:34:01.130 --> 00:34:05.438
Everybody was like oh, hey, oh hey, I was like Naomi Campbell on the runway.

00:34:06.371 --> 00:34:09.079
I felt like everyone was just like oh, who is that hot chick?

00:34:09.079 --> 00:34:14.115
And then I get there and he's just like you know your pussy's out right Like oh my God.

00:34:14.137 --> 00:34:16.646
A little lip service A little lip service.

00:34:16.646 --> 00:34:20.474
Hanging in the wind.

00:34:20.494 --> 00:34:20.815
Wait, wait.

00:34:20.815 --> 00:34:22.458
Did you say your throat was blowing?

00:34:22.458 --> 00:34:23.400
What was blowing in the wind?

00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:24.161
I missed something.

00:34:24.161 --> 00:34:25.204
Oh, the skirt.

00:34:25.204 --> 00:34:28.018
Oh, okay, I thought your lip was just.

00:34:29.492 --> 00:34:31.177
No, I do not have an Audi, okay.

00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:34.295
You do now According to America.

00:34:34.295 --> 00:34:37.976
You do now Everyone just visualize what that looks like.

00:34:37.976 --> 00:34:38.840
I just want you to know.

00:34:39.750 --> 00:34:42.956
Do you have any unique talents or unique facts that not many people know about you?

00:34:44.358 --> 00:34:46.481
um, uh, this is.

00:34:46.481 --> 00:34:50.436
I can unicycle can you?

00:34:50.436 --> 00:34:55.166
I'd like to try I can't, I can't, uh, yeah, no, I wanted to.

00:34:55.166 --> 00:35:01.623
I was gonna run away to clown college when I was like eight years old and I knew how to do like stilts and unicycle and like all sorts of stuff.

00:35:01.623 --> 00:35:06.559
Probably not what you're looking for, but is that a talent?

00:35:06.559 --> 00:35:07.302
That is a talent.

00:35:07.389 --> 00:35:08.672
I wish I could unicycle.

00:35:08.672 --> 00:35:10.918
Unicycle on joggers, do you really wish?

00:35:10.938 --> 00:35:11.599
Kind of Kind of.00:35:13.650 --> 00:35:15.155


When is that ever going to come into play?00:35:15.155 --> 00:35:16.400


It's true, when is that handy?00:35:20.510 --> 00:35:20.972


Couldn't come into play.00:35:20.972 --> 00:35:21.353


When is that handy?00:35:21.353 --> 00:35:24.570


Like, couldn't you just like bring your unicycle like out to sunday brunch with you and you're like on a patio somewhere and you just like bust out the unicycle?00:35:24.570 --> 00:35:26.335


I suppose you could like, wouldn't it be kind of fun?00:35:26.356 --> 00:35:40.347


it's very easy to get in your car, since there's only one wheel exactly um, and I, I have had that like I had a magician come to a show and he brought a unicycle to juggle on and then, like he took it outside, I was like, hey, can I get on your unicycle?00:35:40.347 --> 00:35:46.786


He's like, and then I jumped on it, like in front of all the crowds, that was our.00:35:46.786 --> 00:35:49.693


And then, and honestly it was a big hit everybody.00:35:49.693 --> 00:35:53.402


Oh my gosh, this guy's so talented but, um, yeah, it's not.00:35:53.543 --> 00:35:58.456


That's not normally something you put on the dating app like I can maybe you should, maybe it would help.00:35:58.496 --> 00:36:00.259


Maybe it would help yeah yeah, that is.00:36:00.298 --> 00:36:05.451


That is just straight nerddom, right there so it's you know what time it is?00:36:05.490 --> 00:36:06.777


jess time for the keep.00:36:06.777 --> 00:36:08.304


More minute time for the keep moment.00:36:08.503 --> 00:36:09.027


All right.00:36:09.027 --> 00:36:12.579


The keep more minute is sponsored by tactical tax strategies.00:36:12.579 --> 00:36:15.007


They help you keep more in your wallet.00:36:15.007 --> 00:36:16.891


We help you keep more in your relationship.00:36:16.891 --> 00:36:21.302


So the keep more minute is a listener question.00:36:21.302 --> 00:36:24.418


We've got this week patricia.00:36:24.418 --> 00:36:28.849


Miss patricia, she's ready to date after grieving her late husband.00:36:28.849 --> 00:36:38.175


She is in her 70s and she is worried that men her age won't be able to keep up with her insatiable sexual appetite.00:36:38.175 --> 00:36:39.418


Wow, miss patricia.00:36:39.438 --> 00:36:40.079


Patricia is spicy.00:36:41.501 --> 00:36:44.474


Should she carry a speaking of speaking of fun drugs?00:36:44.474 --> 00:36:50.135


Should she carry a supply of blue pills with her, and how do you kindly ask a man to take one?00:36:50.496 --> 00:36:57.681


So I don't think she's got to worry, Cause I have a friend who's in her seventies and she is saying that the guys are horny AF.00:36:57.681 --> 00:36:58.965


She's like the sex drive doesn't go down.00:36:58.965 --> 00:36:59.195


You actually get a second wind and it goes up.00:36:59.195 --> 00:36:59.402


And she is saying that the guys are horny AF.00:36:59.402 --> 00:37:02.038


She's like the sex drive doesn't go down, you actually get a second wind and it goes up.00:37:02.038 --> 00:37:07.402


And she has guys sending her like constant dick pics that she shows me and she's so funny.00:37:07.402 --> 00:37:12.177


She's like I tell them honey, I don't want to see your dick pics, I want to see a pic of your bank statement, honey.00:37:12.177 --> 00:37:17.217


And then so she recently bought a house and the home inspector did the inspection.00:37:17.217 --> 00:37:20.913


And as he leaves he says, honey, I do more than just home inspections.00:37:20.913 --> 00:37:30.360


And he later on in the day sent her a picture of him cleaning a pool in a leopard print thong no joke, and he's like in his 70s, so I don't think she has a problem.00:37:30.420 --> 00:37:31.851


But what is your advice?00:37:31.851 --> 00:37:34.976


Do you have advice?00:37:35.117 --> 00:37:43.436


well like no, that it is like the, like the stds and everything in sun city, like old people are yeah, it's rampant in the like nursing.00:37:43.436 --> 00:37:51.594


You have nothing to lose at this point like who's worried about anything like you're, you're, it's true, you never know when you're gonna die anymore so you're like let's go for it.00:37:51.594 --> 00:37:52.094


So they don't.00:37:52.114 --> 00:37:55.893


They, you know, they don't you read these articles about these nursing homes that have outbreaks of like?00:37:55.893 --> 00:37:58.556


Yeah, because, yeah, because they're just, they're probably wilder than us.00:37:58.556 --> 00:37:59.619


They're like ordering.00:37:59.759 --> 00:38:02.844


Ordering penicillin shots for the entire for the entire.00:38:02.884 --> 00:38:03.585


What do they care?00:38:03.585 --> 00:38:06.077


They don't have feeling half the time anyway.00:38:06.077 --> 00:38:07.199


So like what's a little itch.00:38:07.460 --> 00:38:10.094


I think to that most men are pretty self like.00:38:10.094 --> 00:38:23.157


Most men are like, if it's not working down there like they know it, so it's like I don't feel like it's necessarily usually the woman's job to be like, hey, let's take a little blue pill, you know what I think Viagra should be the new hard candy.00:38:23.369 --> 00:38:25.858


Like I think, there's a doily with blue pills on the thing.00:38:25.858 --> 00:38:30.530


As soon as you walk in you feel like you see the plastic on the couch no more Werther's Shit's about to go down.00:38:30.530 --> 00:38:39.577


No more Werther's Originals Shit's about to go down Plastic on the sheets and blue pills instead of butterscotch candies Like let's do this, that's funny.00:38:39.597 --> 00:38:40.699


Well, good luck Patricia.00:38:41.420 --> 00:38:43.061


Patricia, call me Patricia.00:38:43.121 --> 00:38:46.664


That's single I'm single and he doesn't need the blue pills.00:38:46.824 --> 00:38:47.525


No, I still need them.00:38:47.525 --> 00:38:48.266


I still do.00:38:48.266 --> 00:38:49.067


I'm 50.00:38:49.067 --> 00:38:50.755


Got a broken back but it's fine.00:38:51.369 --> 00:38:52.972


So I want to talk about this article.00:38:52.972 --> 00:38:55.777


We brought it up briefly on the last episode.00:38:55.777 --> 00:38:59.021


There's a list of places that they say do not go on a first date.00:38:59.021 --> 00:39:03.920


Okay, and we talked about the chilies, the applebees, but there are some others.00:39:03.920 --> 00:39:04.710


I'd like to go over your house.00:39:04.710 --> 00:39:06.034


That's probably not smart, right.00:39:06.173 --> 00:39:06.916


Oh, I will never.00:39:06.916 --> 00:39:08.119


That's a no for me.00:39:08.119 --> 00:39:09.793


That's how you get killed.00:39:09.793 --> 00:39:10.737


That's how you get unalived.00:39:11.130 --> 00:39:13.452


That's how you get on a documentary about serial killers, right?00:39:13.692 --> 00:39:15.614


Yes, Any fast food chains.00:39:15.653 --> 00:39:20.559


I feel like I've been invited to a several people's home and he's like showing up at the door, ding dong.00:39:21.079 --> 00:39:22.780


I think that depends on what app you're on.00:39:22.780 --> 00:39:28.246


True, actually, that's very true, if you're on Tinder or something, you're going to the house.00:39:28.246 --> 00:39:29.447


If you're on, you know.00:39:32.969 --> 00:39:34.922


So is Tinder like hookup now only Is that the deal with Tinder.00:39:35.510 --> 00:39:37.538


I feel like Tinder's been hookup only for like.00:39:44.090 --> 00:39:44.351


For tinder.00:39:44.371 --> 00:39:46.538


I feel like tinder's been hooked up only for like for a long time, after three weeks of tinder opened.00:39:46.538 --> 00:39:47.641


But like well, you met your husband on tinder, I swiped.00:39:47.641 --> 00:39:48.804


Right, baby, love it for a swipe, yep, yeah no, I mean in the.00:39:48.804 --> 00:39:54.382


In the beginning it wasn't but like for a long time after it has been so another one is this a buffet who takes someone?00:39:54.483 --> 00:39:59.532


to a buffet, the only buffet a guy should be eating on a first date with me is in between my legs.00:39:59.532 --> 00:40:02.434


That's the only all-you-can-eat buffet they should be indulging in.00:40:02.454 --> 00:40:05.335


You're like on the first date the only buffet you're eating is this.00:40:05.335 --> 00:40:07.436


I don't want you to have different choices.00:40:08.297 --> 00:40:11.980


You're going to take the fish All-you-can-eat baby, I think buffets are gross in general.00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:12.679


They are so gross.00:40:12.679 --> 00:40:16.081


The food's sitting out there getting stale and sushi buffets.00:40:16.081 --> 00:40:17.322


Who goes to an Oikomi sushi?00:40:17.342 --> 00:40:17.903


buffet.00:40:17.903 --> 00:40:21.585


Okay, well, again, again, it depends on where.00:40:21.585 --> 00:40:24.088


If you're in Vegas, a buffet is a wonderful place to go.00:40:24.088 --> 00:40:37.119


That is true, the brunch buffet is in Vegas, or if you go to like Fogo de Chow, like that is considered a buffet, Like there's the buffet table but like the salad bar, although you don't want to get the meat sweats you know on the first date no, probably not a great first date.00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:38.661


It's probably not the best first date either.00:40:38.782 --> 00:40:40.384


Like the cheese plate, the meats again.00:40:40.585 --> 00:40:40.804


Yeah.00:40:41.309 --> 00:40:43.739


As you get older things get a little crazy.00:40:43.739 --> 00:40:45.175


You've got to be careful what you're doing.00:40:45.496 --> 00:40:46.458


The tummy issues.00:40:47.429 --> 00:40:48.516


So you're going to have issues with this.00:40:48.516 --> 00:40:50.858


They say coffee date, Starbucks, ice cream date.00:40:50.858 --> 00:40:51.679


You're all for that, right?00:40:51.829 --> 00:40:52.673


Oh, coffee?00:40:52.673 --> 00:40:53.257


Yes, for sure.00:40:53.257 --> 00:41:00.648


No offense to Starbucks, but their coffee is kind of trash.00:41:01.630 --> 00:41:05.693


But I do like a first date, coffee date, that's so impersonal, that's like a business meeting.00:41:05.994 --> 00:41:13.021


Well, kind of, because can't you tell if you're going to like a person based on a 40-minute coffee?00:41:13.021 --> 00:41:16.003


I can I guess.00:41:16.023 --> 00:41:19.666


so I feel like you know if you're going to like a person before you even get there, though.00:41:19.666 --> 00:41:23.949


Like, do you guys talk on the phone beforehand or you just text until you get to the coffee?00:41:23.989 --> 00:41:30.202


Just kind of text until you get to coffee, like because I like to feel someone's like energy in person.00:41:30.202 --> 00:41:35.902


So, like I will do, I guess, like a quick FaceTime, just to make sure that they're a real person.00:41:36.250 --> 00:41:37.235


You're not getting catfished.00:41:39.849 --> 00:41:41.092


But I also don't meet people online.00:41:41.092 --> 00:41:47.813


So, like I, I only really go on dates with people that I meet either out or people that I meet through friends.00:41:48.335 --> 00:41:55.458


So I don't, I don't know, okay, but see, even in that same vein, like if you've already met them, yeah, what's the point of going to a coffee place?00:41:55.458 --> 00:42:01.793


So you already like, you already have that initial interest, yeah, or yeah that's true.00:42:01.833 --> 00:42:02.896


So then we don't need to do coffee.00:42:02.896 --> 00:42:03.438


Then I would go.00:42:03.438 --> 00:42:07.755


I would go for ice cream, though yeah, I think I'm playful.00:42:07.777 --> 00:42:14.019


Yeah, you can you know this one I go with family functions, oh god if I bought any guy to a family function on the first day?00:42:14.059 --> 00:42:15.887


I'd never ever have a second date?00:42:15.887 --> 00:42:16.409


No for me.00:42:16.409 --> 00:42:19.353


Um, I hope I likeHOP.00:42:19.353 --> 00:42:20.516


Their pancakes are good.00:42:20.516 --> 00:42:22.358


Nice breakfast at the IHOP, do you like IHOP?00:42:22.358 --> 00:42:27.666


So if a woman with big boobs works at Hooters, shouldn't a woman with one leg work at IHOP?00:42:27.666 --> 00:42:30.237


Sorry, I had to squeeze that joke in there.00:42:30.237 --> 00:42:31.641


Another one is mom joke.00:42:31.641 --> 00:42:34.693


You should use that, you should use that at your.00:42:34.733 --> 00:42:37.838


Make sure you write that one down, I lean, oh no, I hop.00:42:37.838 --> 00:42:39.061


I'm sorry, I hop.00:42:39.621 --> 00:42:43.762


So they say somewhere that requires a long drive, Like again, unless you want to end up dead in the desert.00:42:43.762 --> 00:42:44.829


Uh-huh, yeah, I know.00:42:45.070 --> 00:42:46.797


Wait, I'll go for a long drive, long drive.00:42:46.797 --> 00:42:52.074


However, I feel like maybe not the first date, but I feel like long drives are.00:42:52.614 --> 00:42:54.315


It's a good way to weed someone out.00:42:54.835 --> 00:42:58.117


Yeah, like, if you like, that is the test of any relationship.00:42:58.117 --> 00:43:05.563


If you go on a car ride that is longer than six hours, I feel like you'll know everything you need to know about that person.00:43:05.563 --> 00:43:09.405


Yeah, that's true, because people can fake it for three or four hours.00:43:09.445 --> 00:43:15.351


They can, but also you can't escape, like if you get to the point.00:43:15.351 --> 00:43:25.320


If you're like, three hours in and you get to the point where you're like, oh man, this is not the person that I want to be with, then you're stuck with them for the rest of the trip and the trip back.00:43:25.769 --> 00:43:27.878


Or you just stop and kick them out Like bye Uber.00:43:29.391 --> 00:43:30.342


I was going on a first date.00:43:30.342 --> 00:43:30.869


It was a blind date.00:43:30.869 --> 00:43:34.139


A friend referred this guy to me and we were going to go to Pastino's at 5.00:43:34.139 --> 00:43:37.394


And he calls me that day and he says change of plans, I'm going to pick you up at 3.00:43:37.394 --> 00:43:40.481


I forgot I had made a prior commitment but I'm going to bring you along.00:43:40.481 --> 00:43:42.864


I'm like, okay, cool, he's like just wear underwear.00:43:42.864 --> 00:43:45.559


I'm like what the hell is this guy planning?00:43:45.559 --> 00:43:46.019


Like what?00:43:46.019 --> 00:43:47.635


But he was referred to me from a friend.00:43:47.635 --> 00:43:48.889


She spoke so highly of him.00:43:48.929 --> 00:44:01.552


Well, we all know you don't wear underwear normally Right, never any underwear you wear, none.00:44:01.572 --> 00:44:02.454


She wears half a lip, half a lip and none.00:44:02.454 --> 00:44:02.876


That's all we've got.00:44:02.876 --> 00:44:03.237


So he picks me up.00:44:03.237 --> 00:44:04.119


He's like surprise, we're flying to vegas.00:44:04.119 --> 00:44:05.324


Our flight leaves in 30 minutes.00:44:05.324 --> 00:44:08.077


I forgot I had a reunion with um guys.00:44:08.119 --> 00:44:10.108


I went to medical school within vegas at excess.00:44:10.108 --> 00:44:13.197


So I'm just going to bring you along and I'm like, oh, my god, this is a first date.00:44:13.197 --> 00:44:16.592


Like I'm having anxiety, like do I just tell him to drop me off now and get an uber home?00:44:16.592 --> 00:44:16.994


What do I do?00:44:16.994 --> 00:44:17.355


Do I go?00:44:17.355 --> 00:44:18.135


Do I be spontaneous?00:44:18.135 --> 00:44:19.157


Do I be adventurous?00:44:19.597 --> 00:44:20.739


I was in my early 20s.00:44:20.739 --> 00:44:21.822


I'm like I'm just gonna go for it.00:44:21.822 --> 00:44:23.744


So we fly to vegas.00:44:23.744 --> 00:44:24.612


And he was.00:44:24.612 --> 00:44:28.239


He was wanting to party at the club till 6 am and take the first flight back.00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:29.123


I can't do that.00:44:29.123 --> 00:44:32.094


I don't do any type of drug, so I can't stay up that long.00:44:32.094 --> 00:44:34.340


So we got he got me a room at all.00:44:34.340 --> 00:44:36.023


The rooms were booked out because of conferences.00:44:36.023 --> 00:44:36.885


You know how vegas goes.00:44:36.885 --> 00:44:40.190


So we stayed at hooters, perfect fitting.00:44:40.190 --> 00:44:46.512


After my joke we said the hooters, uh, hotel and um, anyways, it wasn't as bad as I was, you know, giving myself anxiety about.00:44:46.512 --> 00:44:49.179


But anyways, that's on a first date.00:44:49.179 --> 00:44:52.554


I went on a long trip, but um so.00:44:52.554 --> 00:44:54.021


Another one is sport events.00:44:54.021 --> 00:44:57.112


I think that's a good first date, don't you think?00:44:57.112 --> 00:44:58.635


A basketball game, a football game?00:45:00.860 --> 00:45:05.295


It's kind of like a movie you can't really talk, Like it's loud, You're not really finding out.00:45:05.295 --> 00:45:06.735


You'll see if she's a sports fan.00:45:06.735 --> 00:45:08.597


I guess, but like that's never.00:45:09.231 --> 00:45:15.137


And again, if you're not like really really vibing with the person, like how then you're stuck there.00:45:15.137 --> 00:45:16.460


Yeah, like you're stuck.00:45:22.849 --> 00:45:23.512


I just feel like for first dates.00:45:23.532 --> 00:45:24.554


They should be just like short and sweet.00:45:24.554 --> 00:45:25.237


Yeah, a little.00:45:25.237 --> 00:45:25.878


Yeah, I like them.00:45:25.878 --> 00:45:26.641


Yeah, I don't see.00:45:26.641 --> 00:45:29.148


Now I feel like it should be, I guess after starbucks.00:45:29.148 --> 00:45:30.934


If it's going well, you can continue.00:45:31.034 --> 00:45:34.668


Yes, so like the plan should be short and sweet, but it could.00:45:34.668 --> 00:45:36.836


It could always evolve into something longer.00:45:36.836 --> 00:46:00.541


It could always evolve in like how, whatever that article said, like don't ask to go to dinner after you've had drinks, but like I feel like it could evolve into, you know, coffee or lunch, could evolve into like an afternoon activity of something different if it, if it go, is going well so now it's time for the juiciest segment of the show, the celebrity cut, where we marinate in the juices of the celebrities.00:46:00.903 --> 00:46:02.853


So I want to talk about the update on Bonnie Blue.00:46:02.853 --> 00:46:03.836


Do you know Bonnie Blue?00:46:03.836 --> 00:46:05.856


She's the one that broke the world record.00:46:05.856 --> 00:46:12.791


She had sex with not just 1,000 men in 12 hours, she had sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours.00:46:12.791 --> 00:46:14.771


Wait, she did, she did, she did.00:46:14.771 --> 00:46:15.675


And guess what?00:46:15.675 --> 00:46:19.759


I did the math this time, and I got it right that gives each man 40 seconds with her.00:46:19.759 --> 00:46:20.641


No, can you?00:46:20.641 --> 00:46:22.492


Can you pleasure yourself in 40 seconds?00:46:22.552 --> 00:46:24.237


listen, some of them only needed three.00:46:24.418 --> 00:46:29.739


That's true, that is true that is true, but yeah, so she did it and um 1000.00:46:29.798 --> 00:46:31.563


How many 1057?00:46:31.563 --> 00:46:44.083


Ew like that is so gross, but yeah she's the guinness book of world record holder now, but it's funny because I was so proud I was reading some interviews with her and she blames women for cheating.00:46:44.083 --> 00:46:48.231


She says women they nag and they're boring, and this is a quote from her.00:46:48.231 --> 00:46:51.619


If women were better in the bedroom, men wouldn't cheat.00:46:51.619 --> 00:46:57.342


All they're nagging about pots not being cleaned is resulting in me being bent over their kitchen counters while they're out.00:46:57.342 --> 00:47:00.056


That is the quote from bonnie blue.00:47:00.056 --> 00:47:00.697


Isn't that crazy?00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:07.541


thank you, bonnie thank you, so now matt, it had to be said somebody had to say it.00:47:07.541 --> 00:47:09.269


What is your favorite place to go on a date?00:47:09.530 --> 00:47:18.443


bonnie blue's house, um uh, my favorite place to go.00:47:18.443 --> 00:47:20.445


Okay, so you're going to hit.00:47:20.445 --> 00:47:30.617


This is going to not hit well for any of you guys, cause I do all the bad things that you guys just talked about my, both my marriages, both my marriages.00:47:30.617 --> 00:47:35.818


My first date that I took both of them on was to Disneyland.00:47:38.030 --> 00:47:38.592


I kind of like.00:47:38.592 --> 00:47:40.217


I kind of I kind of like that too.00:47:40.217 --> 00:47:41.181


I'm not going to lie.00:47:42.231 --> 00:47:43.195


That was my first date.00:47:43.637 --> 00:47:43.697


Aw.00:47:43.697 --> 00:47:44.572


I'd have to really.00:47:45.831 --> 00:47:46.474


One was Disney World.00:47:46.474 --> 00:47:50.177


You're big balling it because that's expensive.00:47:50.250 --> 00:47:51.476


That's an expensive first date.00:47:51.476 --> 00:47:53.936


It wasn't as expensive back then.00:47:54.097 --> 00:48:10.114


The second one, the Disney World one, was like we met on COVID, so we didn't date because we were doing the movie, but as soon and then we got quarantined and whatever, so the first date we could do like florida was the only place open, like we couldn't go anywhere.00:48:10.414 --> 00:48:17.992


so I was like florida, just didn't give a fuck, so we're going yeah, which is hilarious because that's where all the old people, all the people that could die from covid were in florida.00:48:17.992 --> 00:48:24.556


But, um, or from what they were saying, so like, to me that was like, all right, let's just get out of here and go see it.00:48:24.556 --> 00:48:27.443


And I again, that is a very long trip.00:48:27.443 --> 00:48:40.659


Both of them either Cause I drove to Disneyland and then we flew to Florida, but Florida is even longer Cause, but we already knew we other for a month, um.00:48:40.659 --> 00:48:50.135


But the other one was like a spontaneous, like after a comedy show, like we drove all night to go to disneyland, spend the day at disneyland and then come back.00:48:50.135 --> 00:48:56.496


But apparently that's a great date because both of them turned out to they.00:48:56.516 --> 00:49:03.476


They ended in relationships for both of them yeah, had the happy ending, fairy fairytale ending Well not so quiet, you're here.00:49:03.730 --> 00:49:05.277


I mean, there was a couple happy endings.00:49:07.371 --> 00:49:10.389


So now it's time for the juiciest segment of the show, the meat grab.00:49:10.389 --> 00:49:12.972


Are you down for the challenge, up for the grab, willing to share?00:49:12.972 --> 00:49:13.913


Pick one if you dare.00:49:13.934 --> 00:49:14.974


Uh-oh, uh-oh.00:49:16.215 --> 00:49:18.018


There's a box in there Got it, I got it.00:49:19.358 --> 00:49:21.800


Some of the questions are innocent, some are not, so innocent.00:49:22.362 --> 00:49:23.943


Pick one at your own risk, okay.00:49:24.503 --> 00:49:25.344


It's a dare.00:49:25.344 --> 00:49:26.246


Are we allowed to dares?00:49:26.525 --> 00:49:27.126


What is the dare?00:49:30.994 --> 00:49:31.655


What is your favorite sex?00:49:31.675 --> 00:49:32.356


position, and why Is this for me?00:49:32.356 --> 00:49:33.159


I feel like I read the question.00:49:33.179 --> 00:49:40.217


No, you know what I read the question what is your favorite sex position and why I am not the guest on this show right now?00:49:40.217 --> 00:49:41.280


It's a role reversal.00:49:43.534 --> 00:49:46.967


I'm going to ask you guys and then I'll answer afterwards.00:49:46.967 --> 00:49:48.255


I don't want to go first.00:49:48.510 --> 00:49:49.514


Let's see you go first.00:49:50.931 --> 00:49:52.376


Ladies always go first, I like them all.00:49:53.411 --> 00:49:57.010


How can I pick Different days, different positions?00:49:57.010 --> 00:49:59.197


You need to be scratched.00:49:59.197 --> 00:50:00.894


Scratch it a different way.00:50:00.894 --> 00:50:12.221


That is a bogus answer I don't discriminate, you don't discriminate.00:50:12.221 --> 00:50:13.623


Answer, matt, why are you shy?00:50:13.623 --> 00:50:18.476


No, no, I'm not getting shy he's turning this whole thing around.00:50:18.518 --> 00:50:21.623


Yeah, no, I no because people want to know about you guys too.00:50:22.570 --> 00:50:29.001


My favorite is in the morning when you're laying like back to front, like sideways.00:50:29.001 --> 00:50:30.483


Do you know what I'm saying?00:50:30.903 --> 00:50:31.463


Back to front.00:50:31.463 --> 00:50:32.246


Oh, so you're back.00:50:32.246 --> 00:50:34.384


So like big spoon, little spoon kind of yeah, like big spoon, little spoon.00:50:34.610 --> 00:50:36.516


And I'm the little spoon, obviously, right?00:50:36.597 --> 00:50:39.936


Yeah, I hope not, or maybe not Pegging's a big thing now too.00:50:40.036 --> 00:50:40.900


It is Not into it.00:50:40.900 --> 00:50:43.137


Not into it, I mean feel your manliness.00:50:44.170 --> 00:50:46.530


Yeah, so you didn't want the morning breath sex You're not facing each other.00:50:46.590 --> 00:50:47.675


Yeah, no, not facing each other.00:50:48.990 --> 00:50:53.900


I mean, I'm very old school, Like I like to be ridden.00:50:54.621 --> 00:50:54.842


Yeah.00:50:55.690 --> 00:51:12.333


Like that's like her, like her and not like, not reverse cap, like I want to see, like the connection and and you want to look into her eyes, the eye contact and like I feel like that's the deepest we can go, if that, if that makes sense you can go deeper.00:51:13.014 --> 00:51:19.733


So I've been told oh, yeah, yeah yeah, thank you so much for joining us this week at the meat market.00:51:19.733 --> 00:51:20.936


Thank you you so much to Matt.00:51:20.936 --> 00:51:27.581


If you want to meet Matt, like, follow and subscribe on our socials and send us a DM at Meat Market Podcast.00:51:27.581 --> 00:51:30.458


Thank you so much to our sponsor, tactical Tax Strategies.00:51:30.458 --> 00:51:37.222


If you want to preserve your wealth this tax season and keep more in your wallet, contact Tactical Tax Strategies.00:51:37.222 --> 00:51:38.996


See you next week at the Meat Market.00:51:38.996 --> 00:51:45.132


Bye, oh, my God, I just totally got catfished.00:51:45.152 --> 00:51:51.574


he looks absolutely nothing like his picture so I found out, the guy that I've been dating is married with kids.00:51:51.574 --> 00:51:53.679


His wife just reached out to me.